I'm going to Chengdu in one month or less .

[seagull]

Hi Brothers,

In 4 weeks I am going to Chengdu to meet a girl I met from Chinese Love Links (NOT Chnlove).

I am excited but at the same time also a bit concerned/nervous. I am 32 years old (actually I am 31, but my birthday will be while I am in China), so a little younger than many of the members here, and have been communicating with a lady who is 30 years old. On the positive side, I am thrilled to be visiting China for the first time. And also this will be the first time I travel to a foreign country on my own (i.e. without friends or relatives). So it will surely be a good holiday and good life experience at the minimum.

Anyway, I met this girl online only two weeks ago and we wrote a few e-mails, exchanged photos (all natural of course as this isn't Chnlove with their agency-doctored photos) and she gave me her phone number. I have spoken to her on the phone and sent several SMS messages to her. She seems happy for me to come and visit her, and I have asked her several times to confirm if this is ok in case she changes her mind. Now I am seeing her in four weeks and am a little worried that I am rushing into things. I would have preferred to take a little bit more time to get to know her before going to China as it is quite expensive.

However, my work has given me leave at this time, and if I do not take advantage of this I do not know when will be the next time I can go to China, so I only have a really limited window of opportunity to act and decided to take the plunge and go at this time.

My main concern is if things do not work out with this girl or if we are not on the same wavelength. She seems to be really easygoing and happy about me visiting, yet at the same time rarely asks questions about me (which I find unusual, as if I was meeting a potential partner I'd want to know everything about her). So I am not sure what my visit means for her (does she view me as a potential partner, or am I just some friend going to see her?). Anyhow, I guess I will just be positive and see how things unfold, as this is beyond my control.

Anyway, I do have some questions that maybe someone can help me with:
1. In a worse case scenario, if things do not work out at all with this girl, does anyone have/know any agencies in Chengdu?

2. This might sound like a daft question, but is a vaccination recommended for visiting Chengdu?

3. What are some good general gifts to give to the lady? As she will be spending a lot of time showing me around.

4. The lady lives with her parents. I am not sure if she will introduce me to them. But I think I will bring a gift for them regardless of whether or not I meet them. Any recommendations?

Thank you.

[seagull]

Just to make the thread more interesting, I have attached an image of her...

[attachimg=1]

[Jan]

About Vaccinations. I've asked about this from my local doctors. Since I will be heading there as well this summer.

Theres no real vaccinations you need to have if you are travelling from a "safe country", where there are no serious diseases etc to spread.

Common vaccinations are wise to have,also hepatitis A/B are good to have. When travelling or even in your home country.

If you are planning to visit the countryside, or staying there for a month or longer. Then there are some "nice to have vaccinations". But most of those are for Southern China provinces.

I think I will still take all of the possible vaccinations. I do not want to get sick when I go there. Cause it would ruin the trip.

Here seems to be a good website with information about that.
http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/destinations/china.aspx

[RobertBfrom aust]

Okay Seagull , onward and upward , you may find her attitude will change once you can show her your ticket and flight info , making sure that she is able to take time off from work and you will not just be seeing her after 18.00 hours , also ask direct questions after this as in the past there may have been others promising to visit , but just dropped of and did not arrive , she may even have a Chinese boyfriend as some others have had in the past , send her some photo's of your local enviroment so she knows the type of place you come from .
 I assume you are entering via Honkers and if so as I think you are from W A ask David E about cheapest flights , I have been looking from Melb and in April I have got down to 875 using expedia.com.au for a greater distance than to where you are going , and do not forget an electronic translator it will be a must , take a couple of bottles of RID insect repellant and do not forget travel insurance it is a must incase you do get sick , also you do not note where you are staying , but there are some nice hotels in Chengdu and prices are right , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[seagull]

About Vaccinations. I've asked about this from my local doctors. Since I will be heading there as well this summer.

Theres no real vaccinations you need to have if you are travelling from a "safe country", where there are no serious diseases etc to spread.

Common vaccinations are wise to have,also hepatitis A/B are good to have. When travelling or even in your home country.

If you are planning to visit the countryside, or staying there for a month or longer. Then there are some "nice to have vaccinations". But most of those are for Southern China provinces.

I think I will still take all of the possible vaccinations. I do not want to get sick when I go there. Cause it would ruin the trip.

Here seems to be a good website with information about that.
http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/destinations/china.aspx

Thanks Jan. It doesn't sound like it is a high risk area. I've already had a vaccination before I went to Thailand and Vietnam (although it didn't really seem necessary), so probably will get a booster before I go to China.

[seagull]

Okay Seagull , onward and upward , you may find her attitude will change once you can show her your ticket and flight info , making sure that she is able to take time off from work and you will not just be seeing her after 18.00 hours , also ask direct questions after this as in the past there may have been others promising to visit , but just dropped of and did not arrive , she may even have a Chinese boyfriend as some others have had in the past , send her some photo's of your local enviroment so she knows the type of place you come from .
 I assume you are entering via Honkers and if so as I think you are from W A ask David E about cheapest flights , I have been looking from Melb and in April I have got down to 875 using expedia.com.au for a greater distance than to where you are going , and do not forget an electronic translator it will be a must , take a couple of bottles of RID insect repellant and do not forget travel insurance it is a must incase you do get sick , also you do not note where you are staying , but there are some nice hotels in Chengdu and prices are right , regards Sujuan and Robert .

Thanks Robert. That is a very good price you managed to get there for your air ticket. Yes, you're right I am from Perth and my flight will likely be via HK. Haven't seen prices as low as you have been quoted for the dates I plan to travel there. Air Asia often have cheap flights from Perth via KL to Chengdu but again, not on the dates I am going, and I think I will likely be going via Cathay Pacific to HK and then Dragon Air from HK to Chengdu unless I find a better deal. Haven't booked accomodation yet, I will ask the lady for some recommendations later as she works in the travel industry.

You raise some really interesting points that I never thought of about the girl's history. I have already got my leave booked from work but haven't yet booked the flight. But in response to the concerns you raised, she says that she doesn't have a boyfriend as she has been too focused on her career but joined the Chinese Love Links web site to make new friends and possibly find "the one" (the same reason why most of us would join, I guess). She also said she is quite a new member to the site, so I will give her the benefit of the doubt in this case.

I think I will be able to get away with not needing a translator as her English is very good. I have spoken with her on the phone and was extremely surprised by her level of English, it is better than many Chinese people who live in Australia. But then she studied English at university and worked in fields where she needed to use the language. I deliberately only selected girls from that web site who had a good level of English. Anyway, I messaged her today to confirm if it is ok for me to see her and she said she was free on the dates I plan to travel. Just waiting for her to reply to an e-mail I sent before I go ahead and book the air tickets.

[mustfocus]

Hey Seagull,

Good to hear you are making the trip.  Hope this turns out well for you.  Can't help you with 1, but...

2) I think the hep shots are only good for 3-5 years... and if it's the same stuff that I took, you need to take 3 shots, the first one now, the second one two weeks from now and the last one 30 days later (well, in your case, 28 days later)... Other than that, I would recommend bringing something for diarrhea (I think you're past the timing for dukoral, but maybe your doctor can recommend something else for you).  I usually bring some tylenol (panadol for you folk in the southern hemisphere) as well.

3) Gifts....depends on your lady.  She must have told you some stuff about herself... does she like perfume?  skincream or vitamins?  Maybe something to represent Australia?  Best thing is to do some research...

4) Be VERY careful about meeting her parents.  Depending on her parents, there is a certain expectation once you have met her parents that may increase the pressure on you.  It might not be an issue, but be certain.  If you are going to meet her parents, ask your lady about gifts (basically do your research)...

Some other tidbits... Check with travel agencies in your local chinatown.  In general, they will have the best prices to China.

Hope that helps.


One other thing... don't book too late.  I think Australians require a visa to visit China and you want to give at least 1-2 weeks for the embassy to process your application.  If you are using a chinese travel agency, they can usually help you for a fee.

[Mikael_Shim]

Hi Seagull! And welcome to China. I met my girl on CLL also. And i met alot of nice friends on CLL without the need of any agency in between. Its quite a nice site (or network, Cupidmedia are big and have clone sites for most countries) but it also has a distinct difference in that apart from Chnlove not everyone on CLL is loking for romance or marriage.  We dont need any translators, she speaks fluent english. Even if your girl does speak english well, u will find the translator very helpful for many other things here so take the advice. Also Robert B already gave you some very good tips and what mustfocus said about the family .. goes without saying. I got my Ticket, roundtrip for about 200€ lol ... Aeroflot had crazy prices this winter. However i didnt return ;-). 

[RobertBfrom aust]

Yes , nothing wrong with C P and the beauty is you can book your luggage straight through , I always worried if I would see it again ha ha , but being the same company they look after their own , make sure your passport is valid and has a large number of free pages , you can download the Chinese visa application online , nothing tricky about it answer sightseeing and visiting friends and contact info can be your hotel including phone number , just make sure that it is one that accepts foreigners , seems like you have all bases covered , regards Sujuan and Robert .
Oh and don,t know which day you are thinking of flying but always check the next day as costs may be different , but C P are tight on their discounts .
 and further Check for some Australian pins ie, our flag , boxing kangaroo , over here the reject shop has them in packs of 12 or 20 lash out and give one to all that you meet plus people like the hotel desk staff lady that is looking after you etc. even the air hostess on the internal flight , they have great memories and won't forget your simple 20 cent gift .

[seagull]

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I have booked the air ticket now and had to go with Cathay Pacific, as they were still cheaper than everyone else. RobertB, you are right, I moved my travel dates forward by one day and saved $300. At least I can get Qantas frequent flyer points, I didn't know this before! Overall, still a bit pricy but it is good flight with a tolerable stop over (a few hours) in HK. The girl seems happy about this and will pick me up from the airport, so I am relieved she didn't change her mind after I booked!

Mustfocus, good point about meeting the parents. I am not really familiar with what that may entail. I am familiar with some aspects of Chinese culture (I am half Chinese myself, but this is South East Asian Chinese rather than Mainland China). However, if she introduced me as a friend, then maybe it wouldn't be a problem. Of course, I don't want to get into any potential minefield. At least I have a few more weeks to write to her and obtain more information. I am not going to ask to see her parents, but wonder if she invited me over if that had any repercussions because of the cultural differences.

Mikael Shim, I hear ya about the electronic translator. Actually, I would like to get one as I study Chinese Mandarin at a college part time and it would help me in that area. But not sure if it would arrive in time for my trip. At least I will get the chance to practice my limited Chinese when I go there.

Now all I have to do is book my hotel, apply for the visa, buy a new camera for this trip and start thinking of gift ideas...

[mustfocus]

Seagull,

Don't count being introduced as a friend as a way to avoid the perception of being "the one".  You will be interrogated by the parents.  Unless you are sure she is the one, then personally, I would avoid meeting them until you are sure.  I'm sure your lady will also take care of this, but why make assumptions.

One other thing, do some research about where you are going... brownie points for showing an interest (and some knowledge) in the area your lady is from.  You may also want to do some research on your own background (Assuming your roots are from Singapore/Malaysia, that would most likely mean your ancestors are from Fujian province).  Nothing serious, but knowing a bit about your own chinese background doesn't hurt.

[David E]

One other thing... don't book too late.  I think Australians require a visa to visit China and you want to give at least 1-2 weeks for the embassy to process your application. 

If you take your Chinese visa application form and your passport to the Chinese Consulate in Browne St, East Perth on a Monday, you can pick up your visa the following Thursday.

Chengdu is really nice place...but you will feel VERY cold after a Perth Summer !!!..take lots of warm clothes.

Sichuan food is the tastiest and spicy of all the Chinese foods I have tried, it is very yum !! Gifts...Australian cigs for the Men (they love them) and cosmetics for the women...good face cream, sunblock, body lotion. etc etc (ask Mum, Sisters or girl friends for more detail  ) Local versions are rubbish and imports are prohibitively expensive for them, but realatively cheap for us.

Chengdu is the home of the Panda Breeding complex and they are very proud of this...mention it !!! It is also the Western Gateway into China and was an important Strategic Defence position for Centuries...many old Fortress Towns to visit if you like that sort of thing.

Chengdu dialect is very different to Beijing or Shanghai..I had to re-learn all my (limited) Chinese words to get understood in Chengdu. Nobody speaks English...except maybe your G/F 

[john1964]

met my wife on chnlove,,,??why you guys so affraid of chnlove?
sure it is expensive, i think it is worth the money,,,my last ex cost me over $200, 000, Australian dollars,,,give double that to be with   MinYing, its only money,,,happiness is more important

[Bee964]

Seagull;

Your girl looks very nice. Don't be afraid to ask her questions. She may even be expecting you to ask. Go and enjoy yourself. Meet her and anybody she wants to introduce you to. I don't think you will regret it. Just try to be yourself during your trip. I hope that you will not have any problems.

Dave C

[seagull]

Seagull;

Your girl looks very nice. Don't be afraid to ask her questions. She may even be expecting you to ask. Go and enjoy yourself. Meet her and anybody she wants to introduce you to. I don't think you will regret it. Just try to be yourself during your trip. I hope that you will not have any problems.

Dave C

Thank you for the encouragement, Dave. I am feeling a lot more comfortable now than when I started this thread. I still don't know what her expectations of me are but she has been really friendly and helpful to me and will really go out of her way to show me around town it seems. So I will go there and enjoy myself and worry less about whatever label will be put on our relationship or other issues, and just be a friend and tourist.