TAKING MY FIRST STEPS

[matt4534]

Hello to all.......  well after a exhaustive google search I have found your terrific sight!  I believe it is one of a kind and it has been a wealth of info.  Alot of Chnlove haters out in internet land all most scared me off.  After I thought about it awhile, I went and used them.  So far I am pretty happy.  Taking my time and using my head as I move forward.  I am jumping the gun alittle here but I want to ask what is on my mind tonight.

1st.  how difficult is it to get a visa so the women of interest can come visit you.  I am in the United States and have a few friends that might be able to help if it were a problem.  Is this unheard of?  I do not mind going to China.  I was in the Marines and did the Wes Pac thing, loved it and that is why I am looking to Asia after my marriage of 25 years went to the dogs.  Anyway that is my 1st question how hard is it to get a vacation/visitor visa for a women.

2nd.  I know this will vary but how much did each one of you spend roughly broken down on this quest to marry and bring your wife home?

3rd. Do you have to marry in China or can you marry outside in your country?  It sounds like it has to be in China.  How long before you can bring your wife home?

I have search this sight and it was great.  But, this would be a great start for me?  I make a good living but since my was took off and the kids stayed at home with me, I would like to set up at least an idea of a budget for myself.

Thanks a million!
Matt

[Arnold]

Welcome Matt , again .. you have come to a great Place .. that can help you along just about anything of worry or interest to you .

For your Lady to receive a Visiter Visa is on a Scale of ten .. about 9.9 NOT for the US . There are exceptions , but disappointment's are no Fun .
I'd do the Visiting to start out on this and find out your comfortable with each other , to the Point of thinking about Marriage . After that , do the Spouse Visa . ( that's my Thought anyway )
About a Wedding in China , well this is up to you and your Lady . Myself , I did it in China for two reasons .. one being , I wanted something different (as I was married here already ones ) and second for her .. her Family and Friends .. before you take her away from them . It does NOT have to be in China , but it will give you FACE and some brownie points with your Lady/Family .
About the Cost , well again .. up to your Taste of a Wedding and all that goes along with that and yes .. the Paperwork , Gift's , a few Trips ( the more the better for her Visa interview time ) . I'd say .. you'll be in for about $ 6000 to as much as $ 25000 in some cases . Yes not cheap !

Anyway , read more here and good Luck to you Matt . Remember there are many Member's here to help you .. or Kick your A** if it's due .

[Bee964]

Welcome to the brotherhood Matt. I think you may find it a little difficult to budget for this venture just because the price you can spend varies so much. I found it easier to just put what you can aside every week or every month. Then after a while you can take that trip to meet the girl or visit her again. What ever you do though it will cost you in both time and money.

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you to the brotherhood. I hope that you find the lady of your dreams and find happiness for the rest of your life.

Dave C

[maxx]

Hi Matt and welcome to the forum.Have you gone to China and met your special lady? If not have you moved from the EMF to personell email? Have you done a a web chat yet.I'm trying to figure out how far along you are.I can give much better advice.If I know a little about how far your relationship has progressed.

# 1 It is almost impossible for a Chinese woman to get a visator visa to the United States.The lady has to meet certain requirements.The lady has to have So much money in the bank.Own her own home in China.And have something that will make her want to go back to China..I E owns a company.Has kids that are in school.If your lady meets thees requirements there is still a good Chance immigration will Denial her a visa.If immigration suspects that the lady is comming to the states to meet a man.It is a instant denial.

# 2 I spent roughly 28,000. 6,000 on 5 flights to China.maybe about 1500 on hotels.2,500 on the marriage party.1,800 on a immigration at tourney.400 on filling the paperwork for my wife 's fiancee visa.1,000 to adjust my wife's status.500 on her permanent green card.(Maybe a little less maybe a little more I don't remember how much the permanent green card was) The rest was for meals site seeing.taxi  ferries.trains,Buses.

It can be done for allot less.Then 28,000.You don't have to fly to China every 2 months until your lady gets her visa.If you make half as many trips as I did.When we were going threw the visa process.It would more then cut the 28,000 in half.

# 3 you can get married in China or the United states.Each country has there own requirements.Each province in China has it's own requirements.If you plan to get married in China.The best thing you can do is send your lady down to the marriage office.And have her ask them what they require.For you two to get married.If you get married in the United States.All you need is a I.D.

[Neil]

yeah, a tourist visa pretty much counts on the fact that the person will return.  Coming to visit the boyfriend generally means it is likely she won't want to return home.  The reasons are at odds with each other.  If there's deception, it will just lead to heartache. 

There are exceptions.  We have a member in Canada who recently had his girlfriend come visit on a tourist visa.  I think they are relaxing the requirements a bit now.  I don't know if it's a good route to take or not though. 

[matt4534]

Great stuff guys.  Exactly what I am looking for.  I have identified two women on Chmlove and we have just started to communicate.  These two women really matched my criteria more than the other admires and ones i had identified.  Anyway. I am OK with spending a little money on EMFs.  I look at it as each credit is less then it would cost me for a date.  I have forwarded my email to one women and am waiting for a reply.  She is my age 45 and never been married.  The other women is my age and a widower with a child.  I am ok either way.  i would never string anyone along or miss lead them.  Just trying to get to know them and see which one I have a better connection with.  The widow touches my heart but is there any underlaying issues out of the obvious?  All so what are the best ways to chat?

you folks are great and any help is greatly appreciated!

matt

[halfpint]

Matt I'm the member that had the good fortune of having girlfriend come to visit me in Canada.  My understanding is this was very unusual, it's very difficult for a single lady from China to get a toursist visa.  For us it worked out very well.  If you want any advice on that, just let me know.  oThe cost of this can easily exceed $20,000.  In my case I'm planning on taking my kids to China, thats part of my cost.  Easily worth it in my opinion, the adventure is worth far more than that.  You can start chatting now if you do it the right way, you don't need EMF's.  Good luck.

[auburnkp]

Hi Matt, I want to wish you the best in your endeavor. I went the fiancée visa route because I wanted my future wife to come to the US faster. I heard it took about a year to do the married visa and only 9 months for the fiancée visa. I did the K1 visa and it only told me 7 months. I did all the paperwork myself, so its not that hard.

I live in Seattle, so typically the flight to China is around $1000. I went four times, so $4000. I had to fly her to the US, $1000. All our trips around China when I was there, $4000. Our engagement dinner in chengdu was $5000. K1 Visa and adjustment of status $1500. Wedding in Las Vegas, $5000. Engagement ring, $5000. Well over $25,000 for me. Probably closer to $35,000 with all the little stuff included.

Like everyone else stated, it is very tough to get a tourist visa. I heard that going with a tour company helps.

Where do you live?

Keith

[matt4534]

 great info guys.  i live in Boston.  is the visa issued threw China or the United States? i thought i understood it was the United States but that is why I am here.... 

As far as chatting goes i was wondering which sight you folks recommended?  and any advice on more preferred ways to communicate.  thanks again for all your help.....

[halfpint]

Matt there are sites like Asiandating.com  That's the one I used.  I paid $60 for a 3 month subscription, I really only needed a month.  Met my girlfriend there, we transitioned to Yahoo Messenger.  If you use a site like that be careful, there are a ton of young Filipino girls that will be more than happy to chat with you.  In my case my girlfriend read and spoke english very well, we had no need for any translation services.  To me this makes so much more sense than the China Love business model...at least for the consumer.  If you take a look at Plentyoffish, which is free, there are lots of ladies there to. 

[matt4534]

 ok thanks halfpint i will check out yahoo.  i am ok with the chnlove site for the moment.  i look at it like paying for a date.  each letter represents a diner or a night out.  pretty cheap if you look at it like that.  but - i am almost ready to make my next move to free contact.  i will most likely use google translator.  folks on this site seemed to do ok with it.  i look at it from the ladies prospective to.  they may be more comfortable right now with chnlove.

does anyone have any thoughts on the woman that i am writing that is a widower?  any cautions i should know about?

thanks

[Chong]

Welcome Matt,

1) Get a real life picture. Most likely, their ChnLove pic was photoshop.
2) What are their current level of English comprehension ?
3) QQ is the China version of MSN. It's the best way to communicate other than ChnLove EMF. But it depends on point # 2.
4) Where your lady lives will determine the cost of travel & vacation budget.
5) Since you just started EMF, I wonder if the translators are communicating with you on behalf of the ladies.

[matt4534]

5) Since you just started EMF, I wonder if the translators are communicating with you on behalf of the ladies.

Chong that is the million dollar question.  I am comfortable with the replies.  I try to read between the lines.   Brake down the letters.  But just like taking some one out to dinner, they could be l lying to you right across the table....

The widowed women is from Anshan.  She seems very nice.  Her son is 23 and out on his Own.  If all things are as they appear she may be the right one.  And I feel like if she is then maybe she deserves a little good fortune in her life.  I don't know is that wrong to say?

I guess after my first wife (selfish) I would really like some one who appreciates how hard a person work.  My first wife was all about her Own happiness.  The kids and I were not important.

[Pineau]

Hi Matt. Welcome. You are in the right place. I have found comfort, good advice and a lot of knowledge here.

1. I think it is nearly impossible to obtain a visitors visa for a lady. Maybe if she has a student or work need to be here she may get lucky but just for a visit? forget it.

2. Counting everything, roughly $40,000. If your careful I think you can get by for much less. I think if you spend wisely and focus on just the task of finding, marriage and immigration you can get by for 20-30 thousand.

3. you can marry in either place. I decided to get married in China. We are still waiting for the approval for her VISA and are expecting 6 - 9 month wait.

I started this quest about 1 year ago March 2010. It will probably be October 2011 before she is standing on US soil. So roughly about 18 months. 

Again welcome to the adventure of a lifetime.  Gerry & Fiona.
 

[Chong]

The widowed women is from Anshan.  She seems very nice.  Her son is 23 and out on his Own.  If all things are as they appear she may be the right one.  And I feel like if she is then maybe she deserves a little good fortune in her life.  I don't know is that wrong to say?

I guess after my first wife (selfish) I would really like some one who appreciates how hard a person work.  My first wife was all about her Own happiness.  The kids and I were not important.

In this case, you have to look after yourself first and foremost. The question is ... "Is she a fit for you" ?? ... rather than the other way around.

Also, meeting a person face-to-face is TOTALLY different than communicating by email/letter. There's that BIG thing call "chemistry". You won't know till you go to Anshan.

My wedding dinner only cost $ 1,000 for 110 people. $ 3,000 for the red envelope. $ 1,000 for misc items like registration, paperwork etc etc. The biggest cost is your traveling & accommodations. Since she's married before, you should only have a small affair & her parents may not expect a red envelope.

the biggest concern is her English level. You two have to be able to communicate.