Hello all.

[Iceland]

I am a total newbie here and I am yet to go over all the material in this forum since I just signed up as soon as I discovered this site. I really think I need some help and guidance from people who understand my situation. I am Icelandic and I am 55 years old. My English is not perfect but good enough I hope.

I joined Chnlove in March 8th an I am already totally confused about what to believe and what to not believe regarding these ladies and their letters. I have in a period of one month responded to 8 different ladies and each of them tells me, more or less, that I am their one and only. Each of them also looks like they could become the next Miss World.

I have this awful feeling that in at least some cases the letters are not coming from the lady herself but have been written in their name for the only purpose of keeping the response/credits coming in. Some of the letters look suspiciously alike in content. Another thing is that although my preference was to meet a woman between 40 and 55 in age I still get "admire" mails from girls in their thirties. I wrote to two of them, one 20 years of age and one 25, thanked them for their letters and told them that I considered the age difference to be way to much and thus a serious relationship between me and them was impossible. They both wrote me back immediately telling me they were both looking for an "mature" man and that I was definitely the man of their dreams. Totally unbelievable to say the least. I am almost old enough to be their grandfather for crying out loud and it is totally unbelievable that these young girls are looking for someone like me. This has made me VERY suspicious regarding these letters. Are they for real or not? Are the women for real or not? Or are they maybe in it for the money? How can I know?

But I guess I am not the only one who has faced this situation so I am going to read this forum to look for some answers. I really only wanted to say hi to the mods and members of this forum.

However, if someone can give me an quick answer to where to look for answers to the situation I am in it would be appreciated. Highly.

[sara]

    there are a few of chinese ladies who could speak English well, escacilly for over 40 years old chinese ladies. i know the agences hire some people as translators  and help these chinese ladies who couldn't speak English to write the letters to your guys. you would find: the letters are the same style from the same agence.
   i would like to ask you a question: what would you think of it in your life after you meet a chinese lady who is beautiful, honest.... but couldn't speak English at all?
   you know the marriage between the west man and the chinese lady is long and hard journey although they had chemistry at first.  you would take care of her and her kids after married if you read something here. an amercian guy said on the newspaper: marrying a chinese lady means marrying her family in china!
   have a good lucky.
Sara
   

[Iceland]

Sara ... I have thought a lot about it and I think that although it will be challenging to climb over the language and cultural barriers it will also be a fun part of the relationship and give it a special meaning. This does not scare me at all and is not a problem since we have the internet today and it is easy to get translation in case of misunderstanding.

[Vince G]

I would suggest hiding your profile. This would eliminate the unwanted admin letters. As for the 20 something women, it's a good chance they were just eating up the credits. There are plenty of stories here to read that will help you along. 

[Iceland]

I hid my profile after about a week and haven't opened it since. So that is not the problem.

[David E]

Hi Iceland

Welcome to the Forum.

I guess, in summary, the advice you will get here is:

Be reasonable and realistic which women you correspond with....regarding age, looks and situation.
Dont get wrapped up in sensless expense of credits with 20 year olds...it is not likely to go anywhere.
Correspond with 1 or 2 likely ladies and get onto a more personal communication as soon as possible...QQ, MSN or similar. You will then get to know EXACTLY who you are writing to !!

and...finally, make sure you are able to go to China (money and time) sometime to meet face-to-face in the near future.

then let Nature and Chemistry take its natural course 

[Iceland]

Thank you David. I guess you are absolutely right. The best way to handle the situation is to use common sense and personal contact. And I have already made arrangements to go to China in October so I am sure my story will have a happy ending although I am confused at the moment.

[Willy The Londoner]

Hi Iceland nice to have a newe Country represented here.

I have been in China for close to two years now.  Married and happy and no youngster.

The yonger women and older men. Like the world over they will be looking at your money not at you.   But saying that it can also be a problem with the older women who also look for us foreigners as security in there older years.    Older men on here have also found that to their cost.

But be sensible and keep your thoughts about you and you will be OK shortage of English or not.

Willy

[Martin]

I don''t think the language barrier should be underestimated, but at the same time, if you find the lady that wants to spend her life with you, both of you will likely be learning each others languages.  If English is not your native language, the lady will probably try to learn your language.  I know we have members from other countries that speak languages other than English, and their women have worked hard to learn.

Your comment about the letters not seeming like they came from the lady.  Odds are, they have not.  Often, it is the agency that is writing the letters, and helping to break the ice.  Sometimes it is with the ladies knowledge, and other times not.  But as has been suggested to you, if you find someone that you enjoy writing to, ask to see natural pictures.  The ones on chnlove are often Photoshopped.  And also, try to go for direct personal communication.  Either by way of QQ (A very popular instant message program in China), MSN, Yahoo, Skype,or email.  Some members have continued with chnlove translation services, and used direct contact as well.  This way, they are getting the best of both worlds.  And while speaking of direct contact, a web camera goes a long way in seeing who it is that you are writing to.

There are also online translation sites.  While they are not perfect, they do help.  I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but Google Translate has improved lately.  They are now offering alternative words in their translations.  It should help out considerably.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Lookout David E and Seagull , Martin is coming your way via Christmas Island , maybe he accidently loaded his semi onto one of those boats we keep collecting ha ha .

[David E]

Robert

Now dont get me started about the Illegal Boat Immigrants that are pouring into our North West !!!!.....I could blow a fuse !!!!!!

This issue is likely to develop into Civil War in Aus if something isn't done about it. They get their visas quicker than all the mugs like me do, because we are forced to do the Legal thing.....

If I had my way, I would be waiting on the beach for them with my .303 in my hand.......but that's another story.

(ps..but Martin would be welcome of course  )

[halfpint]

We have the same problem in Canada, it seems the easiest way to get in here is illegaly, by boat.  Just doesnt seem fair.

[David E]

Yes Halfpint, you are right.

It would cost me about $4000 to get her to Djakarta legally, put her in a hotel for a couple of weeks and get one of my mates to fly from a remote landing strip in our vast North West and pick her up in Indonesia and fly her back here, where I would be waiting with a 4WD and drive us back to Perth down through the Central Desert...nobody would ever know !!!

I could even fly it myself, but I am not licensed for Extended Overwater Flights so I would have problems finding my way back 

[Iceland]

Thank you all for your replies. I am now certain that at least one of the contacts I was in was a pure scam of the attached agency or someone working there. They were writing to me in here name. I am not going to do anything about it although it did cost me quite a few "credits" but it sure isn't a nice feeling being bluffed this way and it sure reduces the trust I had towards Chnlove.

Anyway ... I have been reading a lot of diverse advices here in the forum. I have decided to cut down on my contacts and try my luck with the lady I like the most. She was also the only one who took the initiative to send me real photos of herself to my private email address. Her letters through the agency also feel real to me although the translation is a lot "wobbly" in some cases. What for instance does this sentence mean: "I have a brother. She can take care of myself"? Yep, that is an actual sentence in one of her letters.

I guess the translator messed it up but it does tell me not to put my trust entirely on them either.

I now want to take my contact with this woman to a much more personal level.

She says she does not have computer at home and is not allowed to use the computers in her work for private use - understandably. To use a computer she must go to a netcafe.

Now, she has a Yahoo mail address with a .cn extension. Does that mean she has access to yahoo messenger on these netcafes? Do you know?

Do you think she should be able to use Skype at an netcafe?

What is the full url to this qq site I see so many talk about, I mean the url to where I could register? Does this site have an instant messenger built in with a webcam feature?

I have learned that Facebook is not accessible in China. How about YouTube? If I upload a video to youTube, could my chinese lady see it?

Sorry for all these questions but I would appreciate if someone who knows about these thing could inform me. I will buy him a chocolate cake for his trouble.

[David E]

Iceland

QQ is the social networking site in China that EVERYBODY has...either on their computer or on their mobile phone.

It has everything...live video, interactive chat, keyboard conversation and a built-in translator (not the best, but good enough !!)

Can be downloaded at :  www.imqq.com

I would be lost without it..it is really a great way to interact with the ladies.

In any net-cafe she will be able to "meet" you on QQ...just register and give her your ID number