There has been a lot of talk about Red Envelopes and when they should be given. Here is my understanding of this widely discussed custom.
Red envelopes are given to the parents of an intended bride, but only if it is her first marriage. Parents of Divorced ladies, especially with children by another man, do not expect the 2nd husband to give a red envelope. But many will probably give a token gift or money...Face thing!!
Red envelopes are not expected to be given to other family members, but again small token gifts are often given.
Amounts contained in "First" marriage red envelopes ranges from very small amounts, to huge amounts of money, depending on the status (or the self presumed status) of the parents. So beware you guy's with Single ladies, get things sorted before your in too deep... hahaha!!
The above understandings, are taken from more than just a few, local men and women, during my time working in China, across 5 provinces (which included Shanghai and Biejing). I have during that time attended well over a dozen weddings, mainly of local colleague Chinese Engineers who were working on the same projects as I.
One of those weddings i attended, was of a NZ friend, that met and married a Divorced lady with a child, (around 9yrs old) Her parents, wanted nothing, they told him that, knowing that there daughter is happy and to be married, is more than they had hoped for after her divorce.
I myself, will not be expected to give any Red envelopes, when i go back to China for a ceremony early next year. Were actually getting married here in Cyprus around October time. Her parents are again happy that she is happy, and settled. She doesn't have any children by the way, her first marriage lasted just 3 months, Well , ...of them living together as man and wife anyway!! ..hahaha!!
So there you are, ...I know that these customs differ a little from province to province but not, i don't think to the extent that's been mentioned here. When asking about these red envelopes to my better half, on the postings seen here. She tends to think that the ladies are just trying to help there parents and family out. But she was quite shocked at some of the amounts being mentioned, that some of you have paid, or been asked for. But then laughed , and then said, ...if they want to pay all this money, ...it's OK, i think!! ..hahaha!!
I'm not saying the above is written in stone, but it is my understanding of the numourous personal conversations I've had with the Local Chinese on the subject....
David.....
