Other Options NOT CHL

[Skip]

Since I am not a seasoned veteran, I will begin this thread.  The Chl.info site has been an invaluable tool to me, so I thought I could make a small contribution.   Should this post belong someplace else, I will trust the moderators to find the appropriate thread/sub text in which to place it..

Just some thoughts guys.  I haven't been around since 8/2009.  I came close to traveling to china, but failed to pull the trigger.  I have had a two year relapse with American women.  Please don't ask why, because I can't give you any good reasons--primarily, because, there are none.

So, swearing off American Zombie Women and with an renewed sense of enthusiasm, I launched a new process to meet a Chinese Woman.  Despite being a businessman and realizing CHL has to earn an income somehow, I am reluctant to pay the inflated prices for an EMF relationship with an Asian woman.  Not only is it initially expensive for us, it becomes eventually very expensive for us, since we must pay marriage fees to CHL etc. 

My good fortune, and with only a small amount of forethought has taken place on QQ.  Many of you know of it.  Some of the new guys may not.  My first exposure to it was in May of 2009. 

I simply opened a new account on QQ.  I posted my photo (not an avatar), and I was off to the races.  The first woman who sought me out was 41 from Wuhan Hubei.  We had a lot in common.  She spoke intermediate English and was a professional commodities trader on the Chinese commodity exchange.  Since I trade financial futures (Yen, Euro, Aussie Dollar and the like), we had a lot to talk about.  As it turned out, her older sister (a total cynic) poisoned the  pot.  She convinced her younger sister Fu, that somehow I was after her money.  Which, since I earned more money in a week than she made in a couple of months, was crazy.  Long story short, Fu ceased to talk to me.  Her LOSS!

But no sooner does she block me from her account, along comes Yu--a totally serendipitous experience.  Yu is from Guilin.  She is a family therapist, 38 and is a beautiful woman; has a daughter who is 13 and studying to be an artist.  She is very well connected family wise throughout China.  She is honest and ready to have a relationship with an American man.  Ok, go figure.

After failing to pass the family "Smell Test" with Fu, I asked her, "What will your family think about you having a relationship with an older American man?"  Her response:  "I am independent woman.  I make my own way.  I call the SHOTS!"  Okey Dokey.  Since then it has been nirvana.  I have applied for the Chinese Visa and expect to visit Yu  in October.   

There are surely more guys on here who have similar or more interesting stories.  I share mine as a means of encouragement.  There is life beyond CHL.  As a reminder, I think posting your actual photo on the QQ account, gets you plenty of attention.  Simply do it and wait.  The women will find you.

Skip

[Pineau]

This is very true. QQ is a great social networking forum as well as great instant messaging tool. You can find all kinds of people that want to be your friend. I have 60 contacts in my list on qq messenger. Some chat with me and others say nothing at all. They just read my blog, post on my page or quietly steal vegetables from my QQ farm (a game that is part of QQ). There are both men and women. They range from 20 to 50 and I am sure if I werent already married I could find a lady there that was suitable and willing.

[shaun]

Skip it is good to hear from you.  I wondered what happened to you.  Glad your back.   Good luck on your trip in October.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Yes Skip , QQ is a great medium especially for those with webcam and voice , I went 1 further and under my online name put " I only speak English " and that is how I found my better half , although my new computers have all the bells and whistles and now whatever arrives in whatever language I can instantly convert to English whether it be Chinese , Fhilo, Thai , or ? makes it easy for chatting .

[Bee964]

Skip;

I wish you luck on your up comming trip. I think you will like it. I am currently planning my second trip to china in october too. I will be in GuangZhou. My YanLings birthday is october 31st. I want to be there for her birthday.

I met her through CHL but she was the one that after only a couple EMF letters she wanted to see me on QQ and we have been on there every possible time since. She is watching me write this now. I think she has had a bad experience with the woman that runs the agency that she signed up with. She has not spoken well of her every time we talk about it. Certainly when I asked her about the first letter between us, it was "from her", she said that she never wrote it. But she is happy that I wrote back. After a couple letters the agency wanted her to pay more (a fee for the introduction) and she refused. She could see that this type of fee would carry on and on and there could possibly be no end to it. Anyways, the rest is history as they say. I went to China to meet her and spend chinese new years with her, my first time in china, and had a great time there.

She had given me her QQ number and after a couple days she contacted me. I have 43 friends on QQ and only a couple chat with me regularly. I don't think I ever put up a picture of myself yet though. I do have a picture on as my avatar. I may try this sometime to see what happens. I will have to look into this further.

Dave C

[lfputman3]

I sooo want to be in China in October for Yuan's b-day, but the end of September marks the beginning of tax prep for us in the American accounting sector, never been overly fond of taxes, but I'm planning on kicking into overdrive and doing some npo's and business packs in November/December and then launching into the personal taxes in January after the holiday. The nice thing, all the business and npo stuff is due (with extensions) by mid-December, so I can shut down for a month at the holiday and bug out.

I just hope the IRS doesn't do another 'system reset' like they did this year. 

Lloyd

[Jan]

Indeed. I got a QQ account. And more and more Chinese people wanted to speak with me...

First I talked with a girl, and I grew into liking her. And probably would have gone to visit her as well. But then I found someone better, or rather she found me.

Last Christmas a special girl added me. We could talk about everything. And I went to China to see her. But we decided  that we are better off as friends she now calls me "gege哥哥",  brother.

She introduced to me a friend of hers. With whom I spent a month at China, Sichuan area travelling. And I am quite sure that she is the one. And she cares about me too. I am planning to return to her this Christmas. And by then I will be sure. Her mother loves me, I think the father initially disliked me, but after spending a lot of time with the family, I think that in the end he thought that I can be a "ok" person.


Just by having QQ and using it. Will get you lots of friends. And probably something more as well.

I never ask for other peoples pictures or to see them on web camera. What I noticed is that so many Chinese guys randomly add the girls in QQ and hope to see some pretty girl picture. So it was offending to them. But I did not do this, so they learned to trust me.

It is amazing how much a Chinese girl can have impact on me. She got me to loose weight, exercise, be healthy, study Chinese language and culture.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Yes Jan , it is amazing how many friends I have had and still have on QQ , just by putting " I can only speak English " under my name , I would say out of about 40 that 35 were very , very pretty and all would have been marriage worthy , but my Sujuan was a standout in many ways , funnily enough I am still allowed to chat with those that I wish to chat with , because my better half know that there is 8000 kilometers of ocean and besides I do not go to China without her  and they are all learning English to help them in their partner search .

[Pineau]

Robert, it is amazing that our wives's trust us so much. Fiona allows me to keep and chat with my QQ friends. Some of the ladies that I chat with I met during my journey to fine a wife. Some are right here in town. She knows that I an not stupid enough to make a life changing mistake.  They all know the full truth of the plan I hatched and are OK with it. They also know I am happily married and not in the market for a GF. I have gone from potential spouse material to a good friend, adviser, big brother and English teacher. Any one need a good woman? I don't think that I am the only man here with Chinese ladies as friends. There are several.  I would trust the recommendation of a friend here before I would place my trust in Chnlove.

Just a few more words about trust. It was not always this way. Trust is something you have to earn. Because of the reputation and actions of other guys on the internet right away you are a creep and cant be trusted. I have read some letters sent from guys to some of the ladies. They think they are being really slick but they really wouldn't fool a highschool girl let alone a middle aged divorced Chinese woman. . Don't take it personally. Just prove them wrong.

[Axiom]

Be careful though, there are still plenty of scammers even on qq.

So i am bed ridden this weekend from heat exhaustion (crossing the city twice to interview with two seperate companies on a 90 degree day will do that to you, well me anyway....but thats another story)

I was going hang out with Mikkie from these forums on saturday and I had to QQ him to let him know I couldn't go. Shortly after this happened, I got a message from someone asking me to add them to qq... Okay i thought, Mikkie said he and his girlfriend had a few friends coming so i thought maybe one of them is messaging me to suck it up and join them (as it is done back home in the upper midwest).  No sooner then I add her however she is all, "wow you are very cute" (which is odd since my qq profile picture is one of me and my girlfriend), and, "wow you are such a funny guy!" ( I didn't really know words like "Hello" and "How is your day" were humorous, but hey what ever floats your boat right?

Then out of the BLUE she asks me if I would like to meet a nice chinese woman. Her sister in law is very attractive and she knows what men like and she can p*ss kittens and sh*t rainbows and all this nonsence. Finally I had to stop her and tell her..."Hey! Lady! See my profile picture? Thats me and MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" she didnt even miss a beat, all of a sudden she started talking about teas... all kinds of teas, you like tea? here is my taobao (i hope i spelt that right) webpage and you can buy all the tea you want from me.

At that point, I blocked her.

China is a straaaaaaaange place

[Pineau]

Axiom, your right. The world is full of scammers and weirdos. Even QQ. I have met all kinds and it does not take long to sort them out. I remember one young lady in Guangzhou (at least she said she was from Guangzhou) she wanted to see me naked. For what reason I am baffeled but she had some interest in seeing an old fat white dude with no clothes. I told Fiona about it and we had a good laugh then I blocked her. I have been propositioned by hookers and offered a partnership in an export business. Like I said, it doesn't take long to sort them out. I have blocked maybe 3 or 4 people in the last year but for the most part the people are real and are just interested in pen pals.

I hope your feeling better from the heat stroke. Be really careful and stay hydrated.  I was out today for about two hours and was exhausted by the heat. Climbing 7 flights of stairs really had me sweating. I wont go out again during the afternoon. If I need to go out I will do it in the evening.

It is strangly quiet her this afternoon. Usually there is a lot of noise coming up from the garden. Kids playing, crouds talking and dogs barking. But everyone is like me they are hold up in the house under the airconditioner waiting for it to cool off.

How is the job hunt?

[Axiom]

Yeah, I will say for the most part people are VERY friendly here (unless you are getting on a train or waiting in line for something). I am not sure what that woman was thinking you met on QQ. Creeeeee-PY!.

Yeah, its crazy. I am from a place where our summers rarely get above 27 C and our winters are about -30 C ... No, it's not Canada! Yeah, wandering around in this heat has really been a bad thing, it's doubly bad since I usually just grab a handfull of cashews or something from the store and munch on them while I wander around so my nutrition level wasn't probably to great either. So, I have just been sitting by the AC the past few days drinking lots of fluids and such to coax my self to sweat to cool off. By the end of today I think I will back to normal (or what passes for normal) and I can hit the ground running once again tomorrow.

As an added bonus: The girlfriend brought me food on friday since she was worried I wasnt eating right while I was sick. Once again Chinese women prove how excellent they are!

My apologies for kind of hijacking the thread, but I went to see these two places and one of them wants me to do Javascript coding which I am NOT sure it is something I am comfortable doing professionally. I am not sure how the guys at the company would feel if they needed all this code done by a certain date and I was still writing my first function. Maybe someday, but not yet.

The other company was a bigger company (www.yeepgame.com), didn't want me to do code... but localization. Neither one is what I want, which was animation, but I am thinking the localization job will at least start having money coming in, so I decided to go with them. I need to come up with a quote for wages for them by Wednsday, which is technically my first day.