Author Topic: 1st trip to China Chengdu  (Read 3727 times)

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Offline Jan

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1st trip to China Chengdu
« on: September 04, 2011, 03:34:58 pm »
I went there for 2 months this summer. At first I went there to meet a girl of course... We had chatted on QQ for half a year. And she actually added my QQ to learn Finnish and do some language exchange. She had studied to become a nurse. And after that studied Finnish language to get to Finland to be a nurse.

After many months of communication. I agree I can come to visit her. But life was not always so easy with her. She would often be extremely jealous, or otherwise angry at me for many things... We sorted those out always though.
We meet at the Shuangliu, Chengdu airport. She had a friend and friends mother with a car also there to pick us up. The friend wanted to see a Finnish guy and her mother was interested as well. So they offered to take us to hotel and then to eat together.

The mother had awesome personality. After she learned that I can understand a little bit mandarin Chinese basics... She would constantly try to communicate with me haha... But I did not understand. And she kept laughing after I made some jokes which she understood luckily. Some pre-rehearsed sentences that were nice to know.

She offers to take us to see some Chengdu sightseeing place, an old "road". So there we go the 4 of us... At this point I kind of only wanted some peace and time together with the girl I went there for... But I did not want to be rude. Because the mother and the other girl were really close to her.

I actually dressed up to some Emperor clothes.. And everyone were laughing when they saw the laowai in strange clothes. Was funny...
Then finally we get back to hotel. And the friend and mother leaves. Then we had some time to talk and relax by going to eat.

The next day we go to Chengdu panda park. To see some pandas. Was nice. After that we got a train towards Lijiang. I had no idea what to expect. But we went to the ticket booth and she chose to get the cheapest possible tickets for us... That was a awful mistake haha.. But she wanted to save money for me.
So I could not sleep for the next 50 ish hours after that. Because I was paranoid and sure someone would steal my luggage if I did not keep an eye on it.

Well after we reach Lijiang. And had planned to stay there 5-10 days. But we did many things the first few days. And then she says that it is best if we are just friends. I am shocked, I cant really say anything. Except ask if she is 100% certain. She says that she has been thinking about it for a few days already.
We had some plans to do during my 2 months visit to China. She says we can do everything we planned to do. But just as friends. I really wanted to go back home. And even checked the airline company for a ticket. But it would have cost me over a 1000 euros... Or spend the remaining of the 2 months, and go with my original ticket that I paid for.
So I chose to stay and return to Leshan with her, her home city.

I got to meet many of her friends at Leshan. And I made great friends there as well, even though there was a huge language barrier always. 2 of the guys I met often, wanted to become "brothers" with me even hehe.
We did KTV, shopping, local sightseeing like the Giant Buddha at Leshan. I was taught the basics of Sichuan Mahjong, kind of like advanced poker game... Also taught some cards game... Ah many many things.
But after a while I started to like one of her friends. After spending a lot of time together with her. She was great, but she had a big flaw in her personality. I could never trust her that much, even though she did not do anything bad... Just many small things added up.

Then the real story starts. After a few weeks of "partying" and having fun at Leshan.

The girl that I saw during the first day. With her mother, coming to pick me up at the airport. She comes to see us. And the girl I came to China for has become busy. So I spend most of my time with the other girl. This girl. She had also studied Finnish language and was a nurse. But she was quite shy.
After spending more and more time together with her. I started to like her. And she was giving "ok" signals as well. But I am always a gentleman. So I never did anything, even though I think she gave many hints. So at first we just talked a lot.

Then she invited me to her home. To her parents home. But at this point. She was not sure about me yet. She thought that I am a "player". Because at first I was there for another girl. Now going after her.
But I do everything that I can to gain her trust. And we travel, Emeishan, Jiuzhaigou, Huanlong. Local Chengdu sightseeing places. And she learns to trust me after knowing me better.
Then we let her mother know. That we like eachother. She thinks that I am a great guy. And wants to help us. But the father is a traditional guy. And does not approve of me yet. Because we can not communicate almost at all. I don't know their culture well enough, their customs, being a gentleman is not even closely enough.

So the father does not know anything about us for a long time.

The more and more time I spent with this girl. The more and more I liked her. There were some things, like jealousy, and misunderstandings. But I have a very calm personality and I always want to talk things clear. So we did not have problems clearing the jealousness and misunderstandings.

After I left, she was sure it was over for us. But I have called her several times a week via Skype. And we talk every day on QQ. And I think that she can now fully trust me.

I sometimes see her mother on the webcam when she goes to the Internet cafe and the mother comes also. And she is still always happy and tries to speak with me so much, even though I can not understand. And the daughter can not translate fast enough.

The mother told the father about me and the daughter becoming serious. And the father got really angry. The daughter will go back to visit her family in a few days. And talk... Persuade... With the help of her mother.

I am kind of nervous haha. If they can achieve something good. After talking to the fater. She says she is so scared. But we have discussed about what to say, what to ask. So much, that she is starting to feel more safe about it. As the father has pestered her to find a boyfriend and to marry fast for a long time. This should help some. Her mother likes me, we got along great. She will help. And my girl has also said that even if the father does not agree, she will do her best. She will not abandon me hehe. She is sure that the father will agree sooner or later as long as the two women of the family keep pestering him about it.

So now I am trying to get in better shape, hopefully loose a bit weight, maybe 10kg. Study mandarin Chinese, so I can communicate with the family, the father. And we have agreed, that I will visit her again this winter. When I can get 1-2 weeks holiday from work.
She believes that she can come to Finland before next summer. As in she can get a job. She just has to wait, until the boss and the Finnish contact finds them a jobs (the whole class that studied Finnish). Some of them have already arrived to Finland. Some are coming later... I should be able to help somehow. But I have no idea what to do...

Now that she trusts me. We don't even have quarrels anymore. There were some questions that we both wanted to ask. But did not dare before. We have cleared those up. And nothing except a huge distance is between us. We have also agreed that we will not get married quickly. But wait at least 1,5-2,5 years.
Sometimes she cries and is really sad, because she misses me and the distance between us is so long. Then I call her. And we talk and talk. Sometimes 1-2 hours. And in the end she is happy and I am happy.
Thinking about her, talking to her. Always makes me happy. Usually the highlight of my day.

I have suggested her, that I quit my job... And come to China so we can spend more time together. But she insists that I do not do so. Instead that we both have to wait until she gets to come to Finland to work. Which is 1,5 years maximum... But also I am kind of relieved. I have a great job at Finland, working for the government. And great benefits etc. So it would be a shame to abandon all that. I would, if she asked me to.

Heres some pictures attached. Yes yes, I won't show my face or hers  ^_^

I could have probably wrote a book about everything that has happened hehe. I just kept on writing and then skipping some parts. But I am happy now, knowing that she will wait for me.

First picture is a Emeishan monkey
Second is horse riding at Lijiang.
Third Emeishan.
4th Leshan great Buddha
5th Chengdu panda park red panda
6th some local sighseeing place at Chengdu
7th sea world at Chengdu, had dolphins and all kinds of water animals
8th Lijiang Naxi people music performance.

Offline Jan

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2011, 03:37:51 pm »
Few more pictures
1 Huanlong national park, on top of the mountain
2 Jiuzhaigou, national park as well
3 Huanglong
4 Chengdu "old road" entrance
5 Chengdu fun park, I am in a ferris wheel
6 Leshan road, the road next to the river was pretty
7 Lijiang at night
8 Jiuzhaigou waterfall

So many pictures I have... But I just chose a few to show.

Vince G

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2011, 03:53:32 pm »
Very good. Hope your plans work out for you.

prince...

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2011, 05:19:12 pm »
I hope things work out for you and your girl.

What are your plans for losing the 20kg? I'm a certified personal trainer, so I don't mind giving out some advice--- you're in Finland so I can't really prospect for a client, although if you lost weight following my advice, you could recommend me to some people to train long distance!

As a Taoist, I'm very jealous that you got to visit Emei Mountain!

I hope your relationship only gets even better, Good Luck!

Arnold

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2011, 05:27:02 pm »
First Jan , thanks for the Photo's which are always appreciated here . You are certainly not the first that this has happened to .. the Girl on the other side of the Coin . Of course hope this will not only go on for you , but turn into a Relationship you've been looking / came to China for . Good Luck and bring the Father some of that Finish Boose on your next Trip . haha

Offline seagull

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2011, 10:05:38 pm »
Great story and some beautiful photos. I went to Chengdu and Leshan a few months ago and your pictures brought back some nice memories for me. Your write up of your trip was really good and an enjoyable read. I hope things will work out for you. Whatever happens, at least this is experience is something you will never forget.

Offline Rhonald

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2011, 11:28:20 pm »
Thanks for sharing your story and your Heart's dilemma. As to losing weight - Prince I think I have this covered , since Jan is from Finland (home of the famous runner Paavo Nurmi )- Jan just go and run some Lapps  8)
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline Jan

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2011, 04:22:41 am »
Loosing weight plan has already started. I started to use a bicycle to work, and to everywhere. Approximately 100km every week.
I am doing some exercises at home. But I need to start doing those more often... I am a bit lazy. At the moment I weight 100kg, and I am 178cm tall. My goal is to be 90kg by Christmas, my 2nd trip.

About learning Mandarin Chinese. It is going somewhat smooth. Because I already learn the basics before my first trip. So now I can just focus on new words and remembering the tones+prononciation on my old words. I've always had a "gift" for learning foreign languages. Except the Finnish language, which was my worst subject through my school. But Chinese is something different. But it is somewhat challenging.
I gave myself a goal to learn ~2 new words every day. I am not sure if I can do it... But I will do my best.

It is funny, discussing our future. And we do it often. The biggest thing is, that she wants to stay at Finland for some time to earn money. But then return to China later on in her life, to take care of her parents better. I have agreed also to this. Because I do not really like Finland too much... Many of my friends share this view. Many want to leave the country. A few moving to the states, south America, elsewhere in Europe, etc. Our government is quite bad and rotten. Even though we have most things quite well here.

There is a lot to do. I have not had much motivation to do things in my life. But now I have an excellent source of motivation.

Offline Jan

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2011, 06:54:26 am »
I hope things work out for you and your girl.

What are your plans for losing the 20kg? I'm a certified personal trainer, so I don't mind giving out some advice--- you're in Finland so I can't really prospect for a client, although if you lost weight following my advice, you could recommend me to some people to train long distance!

As a Taoist, I'm very jealous that you got to visit Emei Mountain!

I hope your relationship only gets even better, Good Luck!
I don't mind trying. I like to bicycle, walk and some weight lifting. I rarely go to the gym. I am sometimes lazy. My biggest focus is to loose my stomach. Rest of my body is in a decent shape. Hands because I do some weight lifting. Legs because I walk and bike a lot.
But there is nothing for my stomach... Except I do small things at home in the evenings. But its not enough...
And yes sure I could recommend you. If things go well for me.

Offline daghoi

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2011, 12:10:16 pm »
...remember we did the horse riding in LiJiang, took a lot of bargain before the price was acceptable. It was a beautiful trip though.

If I can chip in on the "shaping up" discussion. Sure you have your cross country ski standing around ? Try to use them a few times each week during the winter, it is excellent exercise.

Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Offline Jan

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Re: 1st trip to China Chengdu
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2011, 09:55:39 am »
Almost Christmas time. 2nd trip time. I have managed to get a bit under a month of leave from work, so I can spend xmas and new year there. I feel like a child haha.

Many things have worked out. I am in a better shape. But ofc theres still some more sausages to loose...

I can speak and understand Mandarin a bit better. Basic things at least. Last time I could barely communicate, now I feel more confident. Took 2 chinese courses. One was really good one was rather bad. But both have helped a lot I think.

We know each others very well now. After months of discussions on Skype, QQ etc. We talk almost every day via skype.

I have to wait until next week, when I get my passport back from the embassy. I feel cursed at the moment haha... I am afraid for some strange reason this time they would deny my Visa application...

I have won the mother over clearly at least. I think her father is still a bit against it. But I think this time I can make a better impression on the father so things can go smoother. Last time I thought I was being polite etc. According to Finnish customs and culture at least... But oh boy how wrong I was. Only lately I have been told no one dared to tell me that I was rude and not polite last time... While I had no idea. And no one told me because they wanted to be polite...

I have a hard time to think of gifts to bring. They always say "don't bring anything... its ok..." I try to ask for hints. But its so cold haha... No hints ever. I have to figure out my self. I have bought a picture book that has Chinese text. And the pictures are about Finland and the text is related to the pictures. But thats not enough. I just have to go to different stores, walk around and look around until something seems good to buy as a gift...

I miss the food, the people, the culture, the atmosphere. And of course this one pretty girl.