Author Topic: Here I go again  (Read 16672 times)

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Offline Jason B

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2012, 04:18:11 am »
You forgot to mention that she was a Bond girl..........standing next to that Aston Martin........or maybe she is in China Topgear.....

Great photos mate....hope everything comes together for you both....work through your issues and at the very least be honest to her but most importantly to yourself.

It takes time and great character, but believe me and others will have their own opinions the journey is just the begining...life together is the ultimate feeling you could ever have, waking next to the most beautiful girl in the world and she asks if you are hungry and what can she do to make you feel like a king.........
I WILL have my revenge for having to be clean shaven......once I learn how to tame my Dragon.

Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #61 on: March 17, 2012, 01:40:26 am »
BTW, I checked out the price on that Aston Martin. Au$400,000! I think they are hand made, with an alloy sub-frame. I was reading in the China Daily on the flight to Guangzhou that there are becoming more billionaires  in China as time goes on. I better go now, Candy just got back from shopping.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #62 on: March 17, 2012, 05:42:29 am »
I read that the the number of USdollar billiionaires in China has increased to 146 last year.  So more than 1 in ten of the worlds billionaires are Chinese.

Willy
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Offline maxx

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #63 on: March 17, 2012, 11:18:06 am »
Peter just remember the 24 hour rule.And remember if it isn't dangerous.Or will cause the end of civilization as we know it.It probably isn't worth arguing about.Or getting yourself all twitted up.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2012, 10:30:56 pm by maxx »

Offline Martin

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #64 on: March 19, 2012, 09:21:54 am »
Maybe I should not be asking this, but I feel the need to, having followed your trip and your posts.  You have brought up concerns about Candy's maturity, and how you want to take a step back to look over the situation.  I get the feeling you have some doubts about her, and want to make sure you are doing the right thing.  But didn't you ask her to marry you?  Sorry for asking this, but shouldn't you have gone through this process before proposing a life long commitment?  Now, I know I might be coming off as a hypocrite for asking, since my marriage failed miserably.  But in my opinion, the time to take a step back would have been before the big question...not after.  Candy is now excited about her future, planning a wedding...what if you change your mind at this point?  Sorry for the question...maybe I will take flack for this...or maybe I have completely misread your posts.

Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #65 on: March 22, 2012, 07:25:01 pm »
    I need update my relationship status. Martin, you may not be psychic, but you are observant.
My relationship with Candy blew up the other day after an online incident. We were talking casually on Monday, when Candy decided to send me a QQ screen shot of herself. I immediately felt a knot in my stomach. I felt that it was another strange thing that she does in terms of her vanity. I asked her why she would send me a photo of herself when I can see her in front of me. She could not answer me and tried to brush the question aside. But I wanted to know why she would want to do this. I know this may not sound like a big deal, but it  was another incident in a long line of vanity issues I felt at odds with. I did not want to be involved with a self absorbed woman. About a week ago, she had her eyebrows tattooed. Hell knows why. But It did not bother me. What did happen though, was that I had a friend come to me house when I was talking to Candy. I introduced them, and told them that Candy had her eyebrows tattooed and that her eyes were swollen. Candy was very annoyed with me that I told them. I then told her later that if I had my hair dyed, that it would be obvious to everybody that I had dyed my hair. No big deal.
    Anyway, I got angry and told Candy that I had had enough.
    I recently asked Candy why, out of all the men she could have chosen, that she chose me. What did she like about me? I always complimented Candy about her appearance, or encourage her if she got English pronunciations correct. In answer to my question, she said that there was no reason why she chose me. There did not have to be a reason! I then told her some of the things that I liked about her, to give her an example of what I meant. I am not insecure, I just wanted some feedback.
    So by this point, I spat the dummy and felt like I could not continue a relationship with this woman. She has sent me many QQ messages telling me how hurt she is, and how critical I was of her. This may be the case, but I felt there were too many differences between us. I did not even want to save our relationship at this point. I told her, I would move on if she could not justify her behavior.   
    So I have moved on, with very little resentment or regret.
I have met a more mature and responsible woman on CLL. I have not wasted any time, and I do not feel like I am being needy. I want a relationship with an intelligent, affectionate and mature woman.
    I am very hesitant to say too much, but this woman feels much softer and interested in me. We connect very well on an emotional and spiritual level. I do not want to rush this relationship, but I feel very connected with this woman. I have done a lot of 'speed dating' on CLL to meet this woman.
    I have also been introduced to a sister of a Chinese man, who is a friend of my Chinese friends I know here. Chinese people certainly know how to network!
I am out of work at the moment, so I have been very focused on meeting more women.
    So, that is what has happened in the space of a few days for me. Bored?, certainly not!
If things go well with this new woman, I will keep you updated. I am feeling quite positive at the moment.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline Clayton

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #66 on: March 22, 2012, 08:44:11 pm »
Well Peter I'm going to stick my neck out and say i think you have done the right thing, there are plenty of women out there that meet your criteria that you don't have to "make do" with some one who falls short.

I did wounder why you got engaged so soon with Candy,but experience is what makes us wiser in the long run.
Anyway it sounds like your back on track again so better luck this time

Cheers
Leeroy
This is the way to go

Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #67 on: March 22, 2012, 09:05:38 pm »
Thanks for your well wishes Clayton. I will find the right woman. I hope it will be third time lucky.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #68 on: March 22, 2012, 10:02:01 pm »
Peter, I know loosing any Relationship is NOT easy.. by no means. Reading your Story, I come to think.. I had three on the way to my beautiful LaoPo. I either pulled the plug or vise-versa, but it was done BEFORE it turned sour. Two of them are my Mei-Mei's now and I love/care for them like my own Sister's, but like you.. it could have NEVER turned into a Marriage. So you ( like Leeroy said ), did the right thing. It will hurt for a while of course, much less though.. had it gone on.

PS: Martin has his moments of seeing things, others don't.. thats why we keep him as Admin. around! ;D

Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #69 on: March 22, 2012, 10:12:17 pm »
Thanks  Arnold. I appreciate your encouragement and humor! By hook or by crook I will find and marry a good Chinese woman. I think I will personally ask Martin for his advice in the future, before I make any rash decisions.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #70 on: March 23, 2012, 05:12:51 am »
Peter as others have said, you don't need to 'make do' with candy...
 ::)
Sorry about the loss of the relationship though, but the best of luck with this new lady mate... ;D ;D
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill

Offline daghoi

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #71 on: April 03, 2012, 08:41:06 am »

To bad it did not work out with Candy, but after all it, might be better that this happened as early as it did.

As a man who after four trips to China found my asian queen 10 minutes from my house ! I would suggest you start dating the local woman :) As you state in you post, these people know how to network and take care of each other. I have been included in my girlfriends group, in a way that i doubt would happen the other way around. Good luck with either way you choose.



Offline Peter Arnold

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #72 on: April 04, 2012, 01:47:34 am »
Daghoi, That is a nice piece of advice. To cut a long story short, I have actually decided to stop looking. The woman I was recently talking to finally made me realize that I am not really in a position to support a lady, both financially and possibly emotionally. Most of these woman have sad lives that they want to escape from. Not a good reason to enter a relationship. I do not intend to be a rescuer. This woman actually lost everything in a tragic flood in Jilin in August 2010, and has never recovered. I mean everything. She had a clothing factory, and it was her place of residence as well. But I cannot rescue her from her sad life. And like my sister said, China is a long way to go for a first date!
So I have abandoned my search in China. My search has drained me emotionally and financially.
I spent about $A8,000 in my three trips, so I need to cut my losses and look at what is actually driving me.
I still would love to marry a Chinese woman, but I will look in my own backyard. I actually know a very nice Chinese woman who is a friend of my Chinese friends. She runs a massage business, and I have had a few treatments with her, so we are not strangers. But I am going to let the dust settle before I start again.
I still want to keep in touch with this site, so I will not be a stranger.
Thanks to all the guys on here who have watched my journey and given me advice along the way.
Although I feel disappointment at having not been successful, I will not waste my experience and time with regret.
I wish all you guys success, especially David63, who is probably in China now bringing his wife home now.
It is never too late to be what you might have been

Offline daghoi

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #73 on: April 09, 2012, 03:25:05 pm »

When I read your post I understand that you have good insight in your situation and made the correct choice. There one thing I'd like to "extract" from you last post. This goes for us all, both the woman leaving their country and ourselves, traveling so for to find someone. It is important that it is travelled to something and not travelled from something.  (Hope you get my point, not so easy to express this in english since it is my second language).

It is a good idea to let things grow with your local friend, and let things happen natural.

See you around.

Offline Rhonald

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Re: Here I go again
« Reply #74 on: April 09, 2012, 08:33:00 pm »
It is important that it is travelled to something and not travelled from something.  (Hope you get my point, not so easy to express this in english since it is my second language).

I totally understand your meaning and will 2nd your motion. Your English translation is good enough - well said.
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances