Hi guys....back!

[toby]

Hi guys,

Don't know if any of you remember me, but I was a member here a couple of years ago-I think my account name at that time was trwme. Took a detour and deleted my account (long story, won't bore ya'll with it), but now I'm back. Not sure at this time what the end result of that will be-still mulling some options-but I had a question for the bros here.

I've reactivated my chnlove account, and have of course received numerous admirer mails. One major difference between the ones I've received now and the ones I received in the past is that quite a few of these ladies claim to have a visa to travel here and/or are planning on making visits to the U.S. (where I live) to visit friends or family, and suggesting meetings. This is quite different from my past experiences at chnlove.

Of course, this makes me suspicious and excites me at the same time, lol.

My question is, has travel become easier for these ladies? OR is this a new come on angle at chnlove to suck you in and soak up your emf credits? I swear, I must have admirer letters from 30 ladies offering to come here, one of which who claims to already be in the U.S.

What gives?

[Robertt S]

Hello Toby,
   With the recession also came belt tightening around the world. Among items that were possibly sacrificed was expensive emf's, so ChinaLove had to re-think and re-tool to enable them to keep men spending money with their agencies. Just ask yourself 1 question, Why would a woman that can get a visa or already has a visa pay their marriage/membership fees? Why would a woman already in your country pay an agency in China to introduce her to men she sees everyday on the streets of your country. Their may be a FEW women that can get visas, but the vast majority can not, That is how ChinaLove stays in business ( promising to introduce the women to men that the women would not normally have access to and promising men the same thing! If I was you I would hide my profile and then search at my own pace, because once you respond to one letter you will be charged for every small note the agency translator sends you! There are good women there , but take your time and keep your eyes open for EMF credit abuse by agency translators.  Good Luck, Robert

[toby]

Hi Robert,

Thanks for your reply. Those are the questions I've been asking myself too. Things have obviously changed at that place since I was last there. Some of the admirer mails are genuine-there were scammers there last time, and I've been at this online thing for a while, so I learned to be suspicious a long time ago. If you can pay attention you can tell who is just sending a come on and who actually read your profile maybe, lol. I mainly returned to chnlove to recontact a lady I was involved with previously (we talked on the phone quite a bit) but also to just pick up where I left off.

I figured out quick some of those visa girls were probably scams. There are a few however that I'm wondering aren't just looking to immigrate here.

One lady who claims a visa actually interests me-it's obvious she (or somebody, lol) took the time to read my profile. It was a pretty personal admirer letter, much more than the usual 'I wanna love you in all ways/aren't I sexy chinese wife for you?' stuff. In fact she is the reason I posted this question here. If what her profile and her letter say is genuine, then she and I would have a ton of things in common, inculding a perspective on life, and I'd love to check her out.

I'm just getting the lay of the land there now in case Xin isn't interested in picking things back up, or she's found someone else by now. I won't be limiting myself to chnlove; I'm on a couple of other sites as well (cll and clm), and am planning on redownloading QQ here shortly as well.

Another thing is that I've also received several requests for private email contact. I was told here in the past that this wasn't common, although at that time I did exchange email addresses with a couple of ladies via the translator and communicated with them through that. So I know it's not unheard of. This time around I've received a ton of requests for my email address, one even insists that's how she prefers to talk. That one claims she wrote her own admirer letter without the translator. She also sent me completely natural photos of herself with it.

Anyway, thanks for the patience and answers.

[Neil]

I wonder if Toby gets paid by the hour?

[JohnB]

if you like anyone of your admirers, than do it!

ask her for a photocopy of her visa.
I would request that on the very next reply.
I think it worth a few credits to find the reality of the situation.

if it works out, great.
you can visit her with clarity of the situation or
you can buy a refundable air ticket in her name.
(I, myself, much prefer the China visit)

if not, than you are out only a few $s.

[toby]

I wonder if Toby gets paid by the hour?

Sure do. Nice to see you again Neil, btw.

if you like anyone of your admirers, than do it!

ask her for a photocopy of her visa.
I would request that on the very next reply.
I think it worth a few credits to find the reality of the situation.

if it works out, great.
you can visit her with clarity of the situation or
you can buy a refundable air ticket in her name.
(I, myself, much prefer the China visit)

if not, than you are out only a few $s.

Hi John, I haven't started spending emf money yet. I thought I'd ask the bros thoughts on this and get up to speed on what has changed or is new with all this before I did so. I'm also, as I said, mulling some options about the direction I want to go in with my life right now. I now have custody of my 9 year old daughter (cost me $10,000 the last couple of years getting that accomplished), and my main focus is providing for her, and everything else has to fit into that context.

As I mentioned, I'd like to pick things back up with Xin, and that's my starting point-if in the end I choose to go this route. Not ready to approach her yet though. I'd like to make a trip to china, but that may be problematic with my job.

[jimmysilk]

Toby,
Are you aware chnlove changed their policy,exchange of private contact info is now banned in EMF's,live chat,etc.There is some doubt whether the agencies are following this new rule,coz as you say ladies are asking for guys email in the admire mails???,this might be a ploy to start the EMF's rolling???

cheers

[Robertt S]

Toby,
   There are sites other than ChnLove where you can meet women without paying through the nose! You might want to check out some of these and get some practice translating because if you hook up with the right one on a pay by letter arrangement it gets expensive very quickly. The agencies receive a percentage of each credit you spend for translating, so it is not in their best interest for you and her to trade private contact information. I think they sometimes throw wrenches into perfectly good relationships with bad translations just so you ask for their assistance to smooth things over while also demonstrating how much you need their services to maintain a happy relationship. ( especially if you keep insisting for private contact information ) When the world economy tanked it cut deeply into the agencies and Chnlove profits. The number of trips to visit agencies are down and many men simply do not have the surplus cash flow of days past so the agencies had to sweeten the pot to entice men to visit and also keep them on emf's as long as possible to pay for the translators. The agencies are doing this for profit and most have a contract with the lady promising to find them a husband, if they fail to deliver they have to return the fee or a portion of the fee to the woman. So you will have to decide for yourself about the creditability of each and every agency you deal with and how far they will go to seal the deal. You have used ChnLove before so you know the score, nothing has changed that much except the price of emf's. Any way good luck in your search.   Regards, Robert

[john1964]

I Personally would not waste 1 cent on another web-dating site, Every day I get requests on QQ from women all over China who are looking for a western husband, To tell you the truth it is a little annoying when you decline their request and they keep trying , MinYing can hear the request bell when we are on -line every day and she too is annoyed with this, Dating sites are expensive and many men have been taken for a ride by some very shady agencies, I would just stick to QQ, NO COST, John

[RobertBfrom aust]

Yes John , I would have to agree with you about qq , I have about 40 ladies with whom I talk , some are Sujuans workers here in Melb , but the majority are from all over China and are practising their English only a couple are married and they all know I am already hooked so it is fun and sometimes Sujuan also chats to them , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Neil]

That's how I met my wife - just a random qq friend. 

By the way, you can turn off random friend requests somewhere in the options - probably privacy settings.  I got tired of the crazy people asking for money or looking for business opportunities, or free English lessons.

[Arnold]

Actually, I only have used Chnlove so far. Things are looking up though, as.. I now use just Skype and qq* of course. ( * qq = Qing Qing ) .

[toby]

Thanks guys. As Robert said, I've used chnlove before, so I knew the score going in, but it seems to have gotten worse for sure. I haven't spent a dime on an emf so far, probably won't unless I decide to contact Xin again. I'm also on clm, and have private emails going with a couple of ladies there. I'm in no hurry right now. I appreciate all the heads up from the members on the issues there now.

As far as QQ, I had that before too, but man, I met some strange people on there. As I go along I'll probably eventually reinstall it.

[Nigel]

Toby, whatever you do, please do not rely on QQ to find yrself a woman, that is just totally fraught with danger. Anyone who had success with random QQ meetings is extremely, and I mean extremely, lucky. There are all sorts of weirdos, even plenty of criminals, using the site.  The Chinese authorities have had no end of problems with it, statistically, it makes Facebook look like a children's soft toy.
I am in the legal profession and have a colleague who is now almost full time working on QQ and Facebook disasters, and QQ is handsomely winning the race.
ChnLove and other sites may have their faults, indeed they do have their faults, but the genuine women are screened, and the scams are monitored. Sure, you may lose your dollars needlessly on credits, or go to China and be spurned, but at least you won't  be the victim of identity theft, or far worse.
QQ is a great communication tool, use it to your little hearts content when you have found your lady, but please do NOT use it to meet a potential partner on line. Ou wold to believe how easy it is to steal all sorts of things from you on-line.
As an anecdote, the wife of a friend decided she loved meeting people from all over the world on Facebook, had a wonderful time until she decided to take a flight to see her son in Fiji.mturns out her 285,000 frequent flyer points had somehow become 11,000.... Turned out a guy in Germany she was chatting to had taken the lot. You would be amazed what can be accomplished on-line hehe!! Leave the "friend finding" to young kids with no assets, trust me.....

[john1964]

Wow Nigel , Are you getting paid by Chnlove to dis-courage people from using anything other than Chnlove , With the many people here very disappointed with the "dark side", I think you should let us all have options, I was one of the lucky ones to have found my bride, "At great expense to us both", As for "weirdos" , I think the Agencies have enough of their own, Just another way to scam money from us all, I think that QQ is a great way, "And not costly" to meet a Chinese woman , Just my 50 cents worth , John .