To cut or not to cut

[RobertBfrom aust]

Ha Jason , your last small paragraph , you beat me to it by a couple of hours , a lot of true Aussies have been Wombats at one time or another , regards Robert .

[David E]

 

[maxx]

Jason Yes the hair cutting is a Chinese tradition handed down from mother to daughter.Since your baby is a girl.They will only cut her hair that short one time.The reason they cut the hair that short is because they believe like David E posted.That the hair will grow back faster stronger and thicker.The Chinese also believe that when you cut the babies hair.That it will keep the baby from getting to hot.And then getting sick.

When are oldest son Tristan  was born my wife.Tried to talk me into taking him and getting his hair cut.I wouldn't do it.Because I couldn't see any reason to cut his hair.3 months after Tristan was born.We went to China.The first thing my wife and mother in law did was take Tristan to get a hair cut. They had the girl cutting hair give Tristan a crew cut.after it was done.There was nothing I could say or do.

We now have 2 boys.and a third boy on the way.If the Kid comes out with a full head of black hair.I'm real sure that she will want to take the new baby down to get a hair cut.And I will take the baby down to get his  hair cut.

I have learned 2 great life lessons.since I started chasing Chinese girls.

# 1 if it isn't life threatening or dangerous.Or the end of humanity as we know it.It probably isn't worth arguing about.
# 2 You can take the woman out of China.But you will never take China out of the woman.

Jason a hair cut is just a small thing.If your daughters hair grows like Tristan's does.In a couple of weeks you won't be able to tell.That somebody gave your daughter a hair cut.So if I was you brother.I would just let your wife win this one.Save yourself for the important battels to come.

[Arnold]

  Save yourself for the important battels to come. 

Now this scares even me! Maxx, is there something we all should know?

[maxx]

Arnold all it means is Since Jason and his wife have a kid.There is going to be allot more important battels on how to raise the kid.As the baby gets older.

Here is a good example.My wife wants to go to China for Chinese New years.And she wants to take The boys and stay for a couple of months.I'm about 95% against this.Central China is cold in February.None of the houses are heated.Everybody wears layers of clothes.

When you are a small child you do not know that you are getting to hot.So you do not know to take off some clothes.so you sweat.When you sweat the sweat collects on the back of your neck.And then you get a cold.Since China's air quality is so bad.Especially in the winter.A simple cold turns into R.S.V. or Pneumonia.Pneumonia is real easy to cure if you catch it quick enough.If you don't catch it quick enough.The kid can die.With R.S.V. it can last up to 4 years in a kid.And do permanent damage to there health.If you catch R.S.V. quick enough it won't do perment damage.But for the next 4 years.every time the kid gets a bad cold.It sounds like your living with a steam engine.And with a young kid it can be very scary for you and the kids mother.

When you add kids to this little adventure it ups the anty.To all new levels.Especially if the kid is yours and her's.custom and culture differences.Become a big issue again.

Here are some examples of things that I have had to deal with.

# 1 wife wants to send the kids to China to live with her mom and dad.So that she has time to work.
# 2 No none Chinese person is fit enough to watch the kids.So you and your wife can go out for a while by yourselves.
As you have guessed daycare is completely out of the question.
# 3 the dirty towel with the string used as a diaper.
# 4 when the kids are visiting grandma.Don't let them play in the alley.Strewn with trash.
#5 don't put 5 layers of clothes on the kids.And let them run around like a pack of wild Indians.
#6 hell yeah anybody can be a doctor in China.And work in a filthy,Discusting hospital.That probably kills as many people as it saves.You only have to go to medical school for 3 years.And drop the right bribes.In the right places.Then you can wear the white coat.And call yourself a doctor.

Chinese herbal medicine is about as effective as the local medicine man.Out here on the Res.Allot of chanting and a bunch on noxious smoke.With all the bells and whistles.

Then you have to deal with how and why you will discipline the kids.Chinese boys are allowed to run rampent anytime any place.In China nobody cares.In the states and I'm sure in Australia it is a whole different ball game.

Jason and his wife are going to have to work out a happy balance.Just like they did when they first got together.

[shaun]

Careful Maxx!!!!!   You might scare the newbies. 

[Martin]

He has already scared me!

[Willy The Londoner]

He has already scared me!

Scared?

 He's terrified me. What can he come up with for those of my age!!!!

Willy

[Jason B]

Thanks for the info Maxx, I have changed my undies and can now continue.

I agree with alot of what you posted.  We have delt with a few of those issues already.  We are finding a happy balance at the moment.  Having both my mum and her mum here for the last 3 months has helped alot with regards to different cultures and their different beliefs in raising kids.

I only posted this originally to guage what others have come across and to find out if it was only her family/where she comes from in China that does this.  I really have not great feelings one way or the other.  At the end of the day Laura will grow up Eurasian will know English and Chinese languages and will know both cultures the good and the bad.

[maxx]

Sorry guys I didn't mean to scare anybody.I was just telling Arnold what it takes when you have kids with your Chinese bride.Tristan my oldest got R.S.V. in the states.When he went to China 2 years latter.He ended up getting a bad cold.He ended up having to go to the hospital where they stuck him with a I.V. and put him on a inhaler he had to go everyday for a week.Conner my youngest got sores on the inside of HiS mouth.And around his chin.He couldn't eat for 3 days.

They both got sick because.Of the pollution in China.In Wuhan right now.The pollution is so bad.That the air is tinted yellow.The Chinese government insists that it isn't from the factories.But from the farmers burning Hay.I'm not a farmer.But I have never heard of burning hay.If your a farmer you usually feed the hay to the animals not burn it.

Willy what are you worried about.Your a boat ride away from Hong Kong.You can go to Hong Kong and get all fixed back up.Or take a hour plane ride to Bangkok.Where they have some of the best hospitals in the world.If you have the money.

All in All having kids with my wife has ben a great experience.It is a steep learning curve with a Chinese woman.But I doubt it would be any different.With any other woman.From a different country.With different customs and culture

[Willy The Londoner]

Willy what are you worried about.Your a boat ride away from Hong Kong.You can go to Hong Kong and get all fixed back up.Or take a hour plane ride to Bangkok.Where they have some of the best hospitals in the world.If you have the money.

Money Maxx!  Do you not realise that I am almost Chinese now. I weigh up the easy open milk at 6.80 rmb against the harder to open cartons at 6.75.

Willy

[fivetrout]

I'm new here and relieved from the topic name "to cut or not to cut" wasn't about circumcision! However, seeing that my girl still has a few child bearing years perhaps, what is the Chinese culture in this regard?

[maxx]

Fivetrout Does your lady already have kids? do you have kids?.How old is your lady?All important questions to a Chinese woman.

[lfputman3]

alright, first, I have grievances...  my father is Native American, which makes me Native American and my grandfather and his ancestors, were definitely Iroquois... "wild indians?" really? even my grandpa (mom's side) admits that one went out with the trash along time ago. as for Native and/or Chinese medicine, if I listened to the f'ing army docs, I'd be bedridden. Western MDs have two remedies, surgery or drugs. I know the Chinese hospitals are freakish scary places, I saw one on my first visit and if I get sick, my wife does everything possible to keep from taking me to the hospital. however just because you went to school for 12 years doesn't mean you have all the right answers.

As for the cultural issues, when me and the wife have any children, they will be of multiple cultures, my wife and I have discussed this, and I'm sure we will discuss it again. If she wants to shave our babies heads, I'm ok with that. if we have daughters, after a certain age, they get stuck with long hair... boys, after a certain age will have options. yes, I keep my hair short, b/c I'm an accountant and people don't trust hippie accountants. It also helps stupid people distinguish me and my little brother apart. Even though he is 3 inches shorter and has 70 pounds on me...  we already discussed the sending kids off train of thought, she stated, she is not a farmer or a migrant, she would never send her child off for family to raise. She might go all "tiger mom" on the kids, but she won't send them away.

I think people often forget that cultures don't "meld" together, you learn to get along, when you a child of "blended" cultural background, you adapt, it gives you more perspective and helps you identify when other people really are ignorant, or just plain stupid.

So, as Maxx said, the head shaving thing, not worth worth the heavy fighting. your wife has long hair, so your daughter will most likely be told she needs long hair. worry if you have any boys, because I have noticed, discipline among boys is not exactly common place around here (currently in China). Whereas, I remember if I got caught doing half the stuff these boys are doing, my mother would "tan" my hide

roll with it and choose your battles wisely. As for the "do as in rome" under any circumstance, it would be impolite for me to express my sentiments, however I will say, if you wish to impose an imperialistic/colonial mindset on your new wife, you should not marry someone outside your culture. my grandfather was ashamed to admit he was native, even though he had jet black hair, brown eyes and some rather distinct facial features. so no, I am not a fan of such thinking.
we as humans are heading toward a "global" culture, which means we "all" must adapt

Lloyd

[fivetrout]

She has 16 year old boy, me nada...why?