Newbee's need to talk/tell/ask...

[Arnold]

Would you have taken offence if Willy or David E had made the same post that I made?  Would you have made the same comments to them as you have to me?
This is a good question! Which of course now.. depends on ones Character and NOT the Forum. So it's ones own choice, one person. This doesn't and shouldn't reflect on the whole Forum.. right? In a way a Forum of Members is like a marriage, we need to be patient and not jump up (or Leave) based on one Post and especially from one in the middle of an Immigration hassle with no end in sight.

[Scottish_Robbie]

Arnold i think I answered that question !!!

As you probably know I've had fall outs with members on here who i considered friend, still do except willy and I have grown closer as you know...

[Willy The Londoner]

Arnold i think I answered that question !!!

As you probably know I've had fall outs with members on here who i considered friend, still do except willy and I have grown closer as you know...

Bugger me mate. If that's getting close to a proposal your too damn late! I am spoken for in a big way. But as there are only about 500 million elligible Chinese women here then I will put you in the queue at 500,000,001.

Willy

[RobertBfrom aust]

Funny , having just clicked on I see that there are 41 on site , but 38 of those were guests , so yes a lot of info is available on here and being made use of , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Pineau]

Lets not fool ourselves into thinking this is a useful forum because it is not. I have been here two years and still have trouble finding stuff I am interested. There is threads everywhere with duplicate information. There is information placed in the wrong thread because the author could not find a good place to put it.

So pretend for a minute that you are a newbie or someone that just discovered the forum through Google search. Now you just arrived and have no idea on what to do or where to go. So you decide to browse the most recent posts. Here you will find some very important information about Why Willy’s American bashing is Temporarily on hold” and an argument on the history of WWII.  And oh yes, a gripe session about why the newbies aren't asking questions and sharing their stories.  Just what you looking for, Right?
Honestly if it were me 2 years ago I would click right through and keep on going. The site was a little more active back then is why I decided to stay and share my story and experiences.

But now it is less active and just as hard to navigate and find pertinent information as before. I dont know the real problem or a hint of the solution but I can feel this place is slowly becoming a ghost town.

[Willy The Londoner]

The reason is that there are less and less men looking to find an Asian wife.  Whether it be from China or Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Phillipines or anywhere else.  The mighty Chnlove itself is feeling the pinch as are many others in the dating sector. 

This is not due solely to financial restraints but also to the amount of negative comments on the Internet in general, which is also reflected in persons individual thoughts concerning such marriages.
 
The information contained in the threads are not easy to find.  But have their ever been any adverse comments from Non Members that the information is hard to find.  That being said I do feel that the whole forum needs revamping and the pertinent pages, with banter and quips removed, are placed is separate threads that only administrators can add to.

Robert is right about guests. When I came on today there was just me and 27 guests and this was at 9am China Time.  How many of these were men seeking the advice in these pages. How many were agency staff checking upon men or how many were the various immigration departments checking on applicants, we will never know.

Willy

[Arnold]

We have some good points here. I now look at it, like we started as a small Creek.. with only one thing floating down on it.. Chinese Women and how to get them Home. Slowly we merged with others and became bigger with more info. that was not solely dealing with the original topics. As water flows downhill, we never had the chance to come back to the starting point of our intend at the beginning. So now we are a River of mixed info/news that has nothing to do with Chinese Women or such.
A River that has Waterfalls and Rapids, so we were out to loose a Member here and there, due to too wild waters and somewhat wild tempers from too many on the same River at one time.

Now, do we leave this Forum behind and start out on a new one.. ones more? We all know, nobody can or will go through all Posts here and delete the unwanted.. this would be a full time job and who is to do it?

I don't like what Gerry said, that we are not useful, then again.. I'm afraid he might be right and that is exactly what keeps them (Newbies) away. Back to what Willy said, why they don't say something?

[Martin]

The guests come from many places.  Some are people reading the information here...some will be agencies...Immigration officials are possible, but gleaning too much personal information would be difficult, since most don't give their full names here...and quite a few are Spiders for search engines.  They are documenting pages, which for those that found us through a search engine, this would have been why.

As far as the site being relevant...it probably is.  It certainly isn't for me, but that is because my life has changed.  Like Arnold said, the beginnings of this site, we were like a stream.  Things have changed.  We grew.  Maybe we have passed our time, and maybe the torch needs to be passed on.  I don't know the answer.

I do take offense to Gerry saying that this site is not useful.  Many people have been helped by this site.  Just because Gerry doesn't find use doesn't mean that others do not.  If you find it so completely useless, why do you post here at all?  2 years, and you have "trouble finding stuff I am interested".  Yet after 637 posts, we are still interested in what you have to say?

[Rhonald]

I would say this site is more active and usefull the the Chnlove face book group as that place is rarely used. I also finished doing a tour on the official site and besides getting a laugh from some spouting posts, I would say by clicking on the forum tab here, you can get directed more easily to topics then the official site. Our forum tab breaks down into relevant categories that I could see a newbee navigating to find topics of interest.

The official site has so few recent success posting and thank you letters. It seems to me that the time frame Arnold and I was on it around 2007 - 2008 the official site was more active. Maybe, as mentioned, less people are using the old route so less are blown off course to discover this web site. Even in our own members here, it seems that most of us were venturing to China around the same time frame 2006 - 2009 seeking for a bride. Now most have their treasure or are waiting for visas or appeals. We lack newbees and I, for one, would relish a newbee's posting of his recent trip - if he could mustard up the courage to post.

[Arnold]

  hahaha.. you had to do it.. didn't you? I saw the "Newbee" in your Post of Relish&Mustard, which would much better go with Sauerkraut.

Your Time table is dead on, with most of us Poster's anyway.

[Pineau]

Martin, I may have understated the usefulness of the forum. To some it has been invaluable and I am one of them. But only because I have the stubbornness to go hunting for something when it is well hidden and not obvious.  I stand by everything else I said in my last post. The site is difficult to find what your looking for and there are multiple threads with similar information.  We may think it is easy but that is because we have done it a hundred times.  If it is not intuitive to the visitor he will simply go away.

As for my 600+ posts. I think most of them (not all) contained valuable information on how to find a Chinese woman, avoid scams, navigate China, find Western food, and how to prepare for an extended stay with the lady you choose. Not to mention information on what can go wrong with your immigration application. Very few of my posts contain trivial crap and discussions that have nothing to do with dating or marriage in China.

As for you not liking what I said...GOOD ...at least I got you to think about it.

[Scottish_Robbie]

if I was a newbie, I would look a the threads relivent to me, if I could not find what it is I'm looking for, then I would ask!!!

At the end of the day the forum has got each section covered, work, visa's, etc etc

Not to cause an argument BUT... Anything that gives information, whether can be found straight away or not..MUST be deemed USEFUL !!!

oK, RANT OVER

[Rhonald]

I stand by everything else I said in my last post. The site is difficult to find what your looking for and there are multiple threads with similar information. 

It just makes sense that threads would share similar information. If I was to knit a sweater I would start with one thread and slowly weave it into a final garment that would fit for whomever I was knitting for. Well this site is a depository of much usefull information because we have many weavers sharing multiple threads. So if you mean difficult in comparison to a library, where people are paid or volunteer to catalog and sort information, then yes you are correct. But since we do not SHHUUHH people here (primary reason why Willy does not frequent libraries but raises ruckus here), what we do have here is slightly chaotic. What we do have is that if trying to  search for something informative, one doesn't get a hit on more than 50% of topics trying to sell something as a google search engine would turn up.

So unless someone is willing to volunteer and has the ability to organise the data here, then I can not see a greater degree of searching ease. I can also forsee a problem as in trying to unite topics and threads, posts might get erased causing the original poster to complain about his postings being deleted. We do have the mods periodically splitting threads and editing, but heck, we also have a life outside this forum and limited time do get things right.

[JohnB]

There are 37 guests this exact moment, and only 1 member. Me.
I think the members are taking all this soul searching too seriously. Does it ever occur to anyone that this forum is just a small bit player in the larger scheme of things?
For one thing, most of the members have their grand experiences. Go back a few years, most here were trying to figure the scheme for China success, despite all the bullshit hurdles. Quite a few were successful, a few others less so, all willing to do what it takes to find their happiness in China. This forum has legacy.
It is kind of odd that no one posts “photos from China” or “your trip to China” or “understanding Chinese women”. I, if a guest, would probably want to be involved in the forum other than as a spectator or 'lurker' ('lurker' sounds ominous), but a lurker is just a lurker until his curiosity gets the better of him.
The forum has 'morphed' into something sedate, something defensive at times. Something way too introspective, way too 'safe'. That certainly does not help the forum longevity much. Maybe it is time to address that we need to focus on 'life's adventure'. The China equation did not stop when I married, found success. When I hopped on the China merry- go- round, I did not change it, it changes me.
I think it safe to say most guests are curious of China. They also review other sites to glean as much information as they can. I, for one, previous to my entry here, had formulated my own game plan to find my success. My plan worked for me. I married Jing. So, my life takes on a different and more colorful mosaic. Of course everyone is different, but this forum was a big help because it satisfied some of my curiosities.   
Many members have found success. For some, life is adventure, for others life is assimilation. I, for one, am curious on how others are changed...the better, the worst? Willy has embraced China whole halfheartedly. He has his own interesting story. Others, seem like they just disappear into the Antarctica.

[Rhonald]

There are 37 guests this exact moment, and only 1 member. Me.
I think the members are taking all this soul searching too seriously. Does it ever occur to anyone that this forum is just a small bit player in the larger scheme of things?
 
The forum has 'morphed' into something sedate, something defensive at times. Something way too introspective, way too 'safe'. That certainly does not help the forum longevity much.

I, for one, am curious on how others are changed...the better, the worst?

You raise some interesting points John. And I took in the quotes part of your posting that I will also reflect upon.

First, it has been said at other times by others, and even myself, that we believed we were just small fish in the pond. If we have more guest then members, then I would hazard a guess that most people are just using this site to, as you mentioned, gleam information from. So we do provide a small service even if, as Gerry thinks, our information is difficult to get at.

I don't understand the second statement you posted as in if the forum is too safe, how can it being the opposite increase its longevity? You are right that it has morphed into something sedate, and with no new blood on others starting their own China adventure, most postings will just be us old timers contributing oddities and jokes.

The last part you mentioned might be the way that this forum can grow a bit more usefull. But I can also say that once us members have our wives here, it seems that we have less free time. I know I spent more time here when I was lost in time during our prolong visa wait.

But to get the ball rolling.... I will say that my life is for sure now, a rollercoaster ride. And as to alluding to my 1000th & 1 posting poll Topic: Bumper Cars And Rollercoasters , I mentioned that I liked bumper cars instead. My wife has been starting her own business and has had some success. She teaches her instrument and plays at some of our C-Train stops where she make some money as well. But there is tension at home because of her relationship with her 18 year old boy. He is not a bad kid, but he is disrespectful towards her. He also is a loner and after school mainly sits in his room on the computer. If his English was better (only Level 1 ESL - English second language) I could communicate better. If my Chinese was better, then I could get a heads up that an argument is brewing and for what reason.

So things are okay, being sometimes great, to sometimes not wanting to be at home when the 2 are there as well. I have also come to understand that if I did not marry again I could have been happy with my situation just living at home with my 17 year old son. He is easy to get along with and my wish would be that he and my stepson would socialise together so that my stepson, as he has stated to me before, would not say that this is not his home.

It's ironic that I needed to do my China adventure to understand that I could have been happy just being a bumper car life, but now that I have entered into my wife's life, I feel responsible for her, although this roller coaster gives me motion sickness.

Tomorrow I take her for her learners test and soon I will have the comfort of knowing that I will worry about her driving skill with Winter soon approaching. I do like Bumper Cars, but not if it is my car that goes Bump in the night.