Have you been been harassed over your choice to marry a Chinese woman?

[TomFisher]

Ok I don’t know how well the search function is on this site but I can not find anything that fits what I’m looking for.

Have any of you had to endure harassment from co-workers because of your decision to take a Beautiful Chinese Bride?  I have not told any of my co-workers that I married when I was in China.  However, the harassment started just before I left last month.  The women are the worst, they are hateful and nasty.  I have put up with it for two weeks but I think I will start keeping a journal of all the crap that I am told to my face and the rumors and derogatory comments about my wife.  I hate the idea of having to find a new job just when I am bringing wo mei li de laopo to Florida.  I have a very different view of Americans after being in China and comparing the people to the US.  I absolutely understand where the term “Ugly American” came from and sadly we earned it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can take all the good natured ribbing you want to send my way.  But when women stand in the middle of the room and loudly ask ‘just how UGLY is this woman that would have anything to do with you” in a nasty tone of voice and ugly facial expressions.  I think that goes a little too far.   If any of you have had to deal with something like this I’d appreciate hearing how you dealt with it.

Thanks.

Tom

[Scottish_Rob]

So sorry to hear that mate,....Your the bigger man, ignore these imbeciles, you'll always have the support of the brotherhood here, let what they say in one ear and out the other, but, if another one say's the same, ask her "Have YOU looked in a mirror lately, woof woof ":)

[Norb Smith]

Hey Remember the famous quote about Winston Churchill and that one lady, that he was a drunk, and he commented that he may be hung over in the morning but she would still be ugly............lol........cant remember exactly how it goes but bet Vince can get it right

[Martin]

Both Zhifang and I have gotten it.  In Zhifang's case, she was harassed by a young man, who insisted that Chinese men were better looking, and stronger.  Her reply was that she had waited for 30 years to meet someone in her country, and nobody came along.  Now she had fallen in love with me, so basically he could get bent.

In my case, there has not been a lot of people.  But some of the few have gotten down right racist with me.  These people no longer have a place in my life.

I did not marry a Chinese woman...at least that is not how I look at it.  I married an amazing human being that has the most beautiful heart.

Sadly, there are also those that think I married a Chinese woman because it was a sexual fantasy.  I really have no time for these people.

[Neil]

Everyone I have told has been very supportive, encouraging and happy for me.  I've only had one comment about "mail order brides" and I don't consider what we are doing as the same thing.  There is no real difference between Chnlove and Eharmony or any of the other dating websites.  Online dating has become socially acceptable in our society and it seems so in China as well.  

"Just how UGLY is this woman that would have anything to do with you”

If someone had said that to me, they would be laying on the floor with a broken nose, man or woman.  As a co-worker, that kind of talk should be punishable under some sort of labor law, no?  It would in Canada.

[JimB]

I have had one person. The man i have known literally all of my life.  he was at the hospital, the day I was born.  He asked my why I would marry a Chink.   I told him until he got down on his knees and kissed her ass he could go screw himself.
Tom ,i would have asked her if she knew what the letters FO stood for.

[quikcad]

Sorry Tom to hear about your story. Can't say I'm terribly surprised considering some of the stories I have read from gentlemen trying to find good women here. It seems like our women want total control of the relationship and when we don't follow what they consider the appropiate standard, they feel threatened for some reason.

I have to admit that I experienced the discrimination myself as a younger man. It was when I was in the Air Force and stationed overseas. If I was near a base or in a bigger city I would always hear the saying "Damn American. There is three things wrong with them. Overpaid, oversexed and over here". None of these people ever tried to talk to me. They would take one look at my haircut and that was all it took.

I will give you some hope though. I was worried as my relationship blossomed about what someone dear to me would think. They had shown in the past to have passive bigotry. My mother. But as recent as last week, I noticed a definate turnaround in her attitude. She knows that I will be going to meet my lady in 10 days. She wished me good luck and hopes that Wei is all I hope her to be. So you see, there is always hope for the heart to change.   Best wishes

Kevin

[TomFisher]

Both Zhifang and I have gotten it.  In Zhifang's case, she was harassed by a young man, who insisted that Chinese men were better looking, and stronger.  Her reply was that she had waited for 30 years to meet someone in her country, and nobody came along.  Now she had fallen in love with me, so basically he could get bent.

In my case, there has not been a lot of people.  But some of the few have gotten down right racist with me.  These people no longer have a place in my life.

I did not marry a Chinese woman...at least that is not how I look at it.  I married an amazing human being that has the most beautiful heart.

Sadly, there are also those that think I married a Chinese woman because it was a sexual fantasy.  I really have no time for these people.

Amen brother truer words have not been spoken, I agree we have married amazing women who have more beauty than any western dog could ever imagine.

[Martin]

Kevin...have a fantastic trip!

[quikcad]

Kevin...have a fantastic trip!

Thanks Martin. May I have half of your luck and you twice the happiness that I have had so far.

[Ed W]

Hey Remember the famous quote about Winston Churchill and that one lady, that he was a drunk, and he commented that he may be hung over in the morning but she would still be ugly............lol........cant remember exactly how it goes but bet Vince can get it right

I think Ozzy Ozborne said it best. "When I wake I'll begin feeling better all day long. You'll feel the same as when you woke up." A reference to his past heavy drinking. Hehe.

I'm in California and mixed marriages is the norm here. I haven't heard one bad word about marrying my wife except the retoric from my ex-wife but who'd count that?

[Vince G]

Tom I am shocked. This woman did this? I have a few comebacks straight from the hip for her.

I heard it all (almost all) from relatives and friends. A mail order bride to she wants a green card. But I don't care, they have no idea.
I'm happy, she's happy and the rest can go....

Norb you were so close. I forgot he said this. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

But he said something else that fits here.
A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality. Winston Churchill

[Arnold]

Same here .. as Vince , mostly family and friends . But also some of our Customer's , it's not so much the Woman I have found , it's China itself . Why would you go to a Communist Country is alway's the question ? Their dirty even mentioned filthy , and than comes .. what they all eat . Now that makes me sick and used to get me upset , but now being married to my wonderful Wife , they can all go and be with their bautiful western Woman and kiss my Ass . At least my Family see's thing's differently now , otherwise they can kiss the other cheek .

[David]

I am getting it from my co-workers.  I guess it was a mistake to tell people at the office that I am now officially engaged.  I was just so happy that I decided to share.  I have found that giving out personal information at work is usually a mistake.  Always best to keep my personal life to myself.  Usually at best I am considered eclectic and do not fit in.  And after years of rejection and having my heart broken by western women I really don't give two shakes for their opinion anymore.  Anna and I are in love and very happy.  But I get everything from wierd comments to outright laughter from my co-workers.  So I just put up my favorite picture of Anna as my desktop background.  It is Anna's opinion that counts in the end since she is going to be my wife.  My idiot co-workers can go sit on the big high hard one!:@

Big Dave

[Scottish_Rob]

You said it yourself mate, it's not what others think, it's all about what YOU and ANNA think, real friends will support your decisions on anything in life...........