My search

[shaun]

I take it he said yes without any conditions.

If so then congratulations.

[Martin]

Congratulations on eating durian...oh ya, and on the engagement too. 

[Willy The Londoner]

  I had a great time - oh, and I had my first taste of durian...not that bad, not that good...

They fed you the most ghastly smelling item ever to impregnate my refrigerator!!!!  You sure that they like you.?

No doubt they wanted to give you something special!  You should have explained to them that their daughter was special enough for you.

Willy

[Rhonald]

Durian aint too bad....If .... your Hungry like the Wolf

[JustJim]

I ate durian once.  No one told me that I had to have photo proof.  That is not fair!!!

Actually I not only ate it I was the one who bought it.  I have been insisting on paying more often.  I don't push it but I pick my moments.

Today was a real adventure.  I wanted to visit the dating site where she has her account to talk with the translator and get more information.   We had to catch a bus to Shenzen, but we got a late start and as we rushed out I realized that Mei had stopped to talk to a man on a scooter and the next thing I know she is motioning for me to get on.  I was speechless. We both got on and the man whisked us through the streets and through the traffic.
I am not going to say that my life passed before my eyes, but I was wondering how badly we would get scraped up if he lost control.

Anyway we still missed the bus and had to wait an hour for the next one.  It was good though because we got a good chance to talk about things that were on my mind.

When we met with the people at the agency they couldn't have been nicer to both of us.  No charge to meet with them, and they were concerned that they answered any questions that we might have.  We talked about what kind of wedding we both want and we discussed a date and the other requirements.  I will not get married on this trip - but I feel like I have spent a lot of time getting to know Mei, and I feel like she is even more than I hoped for.  I also feel like she has a great family and she has done well for herself, even if she has been unlucky in love.  My point is is that I don't need to hem and haw about a decision which I know is a good one for me.  So I was the one that picked the date and now I just have to make sure that the return trip happens when I want it to.  It shouldn't be as hard this time.  I have everything that I need to make the trip, I just need to make the time.

I will let you know more about the date in a later post and I want to give a more in depth impression of the dating agency, but that too will have to wait.

Right now I want to ask everyone what they know about a "single certificate."  The agency said that I might need one.  I want to be sure that we can register without any problem and I don't remember reading about this.  I will search it but you guys are the real authorities in my eyes. 

What do you all know about this?

[Martin]

Under the title of American Requirements on this forum...http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3130.0.html

[IrishGuy65]

Lisa sent me a picture taken by her daughter Amy of her with Jim and Mei at morning tea...

[JustJim]

Yes.  We had a good time.  I am sorry we were late.  Lisa said that we kept her waiting an hour.  I am not sure what happened.  But we had a nice time talking.  For once it was me doing all the talking and Mei doing most of the listening. 

Amy is a good kid, and she kept trying to get me to put up a peace sign, but I resisted.   

I don't have time to really write at the moment.  I did get a good opportunity to talk with Mei about deep things.  She showed me a lot of pictures the other night.  We are really getting to know each other.

Yesterday, xiao hui (have I mentioned her name before?  She is Mei's 8 year old daughter - pronounced zhow qwai)  and I played badminton and we really connected over that.  Later I wanted a Coca Cola and some chips (miss the junk food a little) and she took me for a walk and we went to a small store while Mei rested.  We are getting to know each other and now she is using the translator to ask me questions.

Okay, we are on the move... so long.

[JustJim]

I think I have some time to write.

I have to say that other than my bouts of sometimes feeling overwhelmed I have been having a good time.

Yesterday it was dinner out, yet again, with Mei's cousin, I think, although she kept calling her "my sister."

So most of the time what gets to me is the food.  Not so much what is being served but how it is served.  I am good with the chopsticks, no problem there, but I am an American, and I love my big plate so that I can keep my food separated.  No, I am not OCD, but by the end of every meal I have this mish mosh left in that little bowl that they give you to eat out of.  I am a little tired of hot pot, and thankfully the last few meals have not been that, but just give me a plate to eat off of!

Oh well, when I mentioned this to Mei she shot back that in two days I could cuddle up with my big plate.  I understood EXACTLY what she meant and quickly corrected the situation.

The digestion has been good so far but I was a little out of sorts yesterday and at the beginning of last nights meal I got a little queasy at eating lobster right out of the shell.  I like lobster, but I am used to that little fork they give you in America, and as I shoved my face down into the shell and was confronted face to face by those little legs I just started to feel like I was going to hurl.  I know that Mei notices when I turn up my nose at food, and if there is anything that bothers her about me it is my inability to keep up with her and her friends at the dinner table.  Oh well, I am doing the best that I can and I will just have to take up running marathons to keep it all off.

I know I will get accustomed to things as I get more experience.  I am also reminding myself that Mei will have the same challenges when she comes to America, and that I should remember my experience and be empathetic.

I got a note from her father.  I can't read it so I asked the translator if she will interpret it for me.  I took photos of it and sent it to her email.  Just waiting to hear back from her.  If it is good I will let you know what he said...

It looks like we are going so I will close.  I know I should be enclosing pictures.  Let me see if I can find one quick...

This one will have to do for now - I held my own against her.  I think she was impressed.  She also is a very good table tennis player.

more later...

[Arnold]

...ahhhh! Table Tennis with Badminton Racket's , I have to try this also... sounds interesting .

Jim, in China do as the Chinese do... if it doesn't kill you.. go with the flow. I was fed on my Trips like a Pig that is fattened up for the Feast coming soon. I did a lot of walking after meals, if it was through the Parks (they have plenty of those) or go shopping or just get to know the surroundings. I came back not a single pound over then when I left.
Ps: they do give you NEW cups at Restaurants, just ask for one.

[LP]

I am so jealous of you,you get to keep your  facial hair and I couldn't. I guest its all for love.Jim do feel bad about  your inability to keep up with her and her friends at the dinner table. I had the same problem too.I  thought I can eat allot of food until I meant Sammy and her family.I had to tell Sammy many time I can't eat no more but she always say just a little more OK.

[maxx]

Jim it sounds like your doing good.My only concern is that you are over thinking this.Just relax a little bit and go with the flow.If Dad is writing you notes it is probably a good thing.The food thing yes we all lived threw it.And you will probably to.You and your lady will have some adjusting to do.I'm willing to bet that you are her first Western boyfriend That actually came to see her.And this is your first mainland China girlfriend.So there is huge culture and customs issues and adjustments.That you will have to work threw.The main thing is just to relax and enjoy the journey.And don't over think this.

Jim I'm sorry I forgot what city your in.But I'm willing to bet that there is a western style restaurant there.Not KFC or McDonald's.But a real sit down restaurant.I bet your about starved by now.Take your lady to the restaurant introduce some of your kind of food to her.Me and my wife did this on my first trip to China.It was good food.And a real learning experience for me and my wife.Everytime we go to China.We make a point of going and finding a western style restaurant.Just to see how good the food is.So far after 8 trips to China.We haven't found a bad one yet.

[shaun]

Not everyone is man enough to keep their facial hair!!!     Oops, I did say that!!!!!

[JustJim]

Pinch me - because I think I am dreaming...

Today is my last day here.  The dream ends tonight at 10 PM.  we are making plans for me to come back in early December and to be married then.  It will be just whatever the legal thing is and then the next day a celebration with her friends and family.

In order to get my single certificate I have to make an appointment at the Gaunzhou US consulate.  I can't do that this trip as they are booked up.  I will have to do it next trip.  I can get it in the US but it is a much more involved process.  Much easier to do it here.  Anyways, just trying to fill you all in on what I learn...  I need the single certificate and then for Mei's home town I need to have it translated.  I suppose that the translator who transcribed the letter from Mei's father will be able to do that.

Speaking of which - I got it back from her - here it is.  I decided not to edit it.  I will just give it to you as she sent it...


Just not I read the notes you sent to me.
 
I will transalte it for you... You do not need to pay for me,, It is my pleasure to help you and Mei.
 
Her father just said that You came from a distant place to look for your true love and meet Mei, He was proud of your spirit.
 
It was not easy for you to come here to meet Mei,, It is not easy for you two to get together.
He hopes you two will cherish each other.
 
He also said that there will be so much difficulties and chanllege in your future life,, Hope you are ready.
 
Now you love each other,, I can feel true love from you two.
As Mei's father,, I gave my best wishes for you two.
 
I agree with you two to get together and get married.
 
Jim,, this is the meaning of Mei's father's notes.
 
Best wishes for you two.. If you need any help,, you can write to me,,,
 
Cathy


They have been helpful.  Of course I am speechless in response to his letter.  I will see him tonight before I leave.  We will talk more then.

I will write again when I am back in America.  Goodbye, everyone...

[fivetrout]

Like JustJim...I will return tomorrow also. I have made some notes and will share them with all of you soon. I also have over 400 pictures and many videos. It seems Hong is what I call a "camera whore" haha  Against advise...we were married right away, within 12 hours of my arrival. Our relationship feels true and tested even in the short time of 2 weeks. We are extremely comfortable with each other in every way. I my time here, I only encountered 2 other Caucasians...despite many bus and train rides. Most Chinese are curious about us, a few totally confused, but most very supportive! These people are very friendly and outgoing.

I too shaved, but just for the red-book photos, Hong prefers my facial hair. As for the food? I have lost 10#s. I just don't want any part of it!!!! Saving grace is the beer is great and Hong enjoys it very much too!

Chris and Hong