Bringing up bilingual children - the right way?

[Irishman]

Ling and I talked into the small hours last night, poor girl wont have gotten much sleep before work :icon_biggrin:

One of the many things we discussed was what language our kids would speak.
She would like them to be able to speak both Mandarin and English, she feels strongly that they should understand their heritage. I completely agree and think apart from the heritage side of things it may be a very good language to have later in their lives from a professional perspective.

I've never thought about this aspect of marrying a Chinese lady before I must admit. Are there any accepted guides as to how to do this right? I was thinking at home we would speak Mandarin exclusively and the kids through TV, school and friends would learn English. I wonder though if this may give them learning difficulties early in life?
Would love to hear what you guys think on the subject.

[Vince G]

I agree teach them both. I will (if?). My two daughters are mixed (thanks to the ex lol) but both took up learning Italian? I didn't ask them to. They will ask what this or that means and we have fun when they learn the new words. So having a child that can learn chinese too? Go for it.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Just for information , the Australian Government has set aside a heap of money to open up an Asian languages school or schools as they deem these languages to be the most important for trade in the coming years , so to have children being multilingual is a definite plus many 2 nd generation asian young adults out here did not bother learning their parents / grandparents original language and now wish they had or had a greater understanding of it ,most only learnt Latin , French or German as their 2 nd choice .

[Norb Smith]

Irish have a good friend, that is a Mexican and he speaks very fluent English as well as Spanish, and we were talking one day and I asked him if he learned his english in school and he told me just partly.....lol.............he told me that his Mother said when they were at home and in the house they would speak spanish, but once he went outside to play or for that matter go to school he woul speak english, he has 3 other brothers and two sisters and he told me this went for all of them as they grew up. So I would say sounds like a good plan if you and Ling might think of doing the same, It seemed to work very well for his family, and  he has his own family now and he is doing the same with his kids.

[Irishman]

Thanks Norb, am relieved to hear you say this. I think that will be the approach we shall take too, its a going to be strange hearing my kids speak to me in another language initially at least!

[China Shark]

Irish, that is the only way to do it yet I think you are oversimplifying you actually learning really good Chinese. We have to face the facts guys. As one gets older they lose more and more ability to learn new languages. Yes, as the brain becomes older it becomes increasingly difficult to get past preconceived notions of languages. There have been studies stating that is very simple to teach children multiple  languages simultaneously while older people it is an uphill battle. Our minds have so many parameters and rules reguarding English that it actually impedes our process of learning linguistics. I think all of us have a good shot at learning the basics yet don't dillude yourselfs into thinking you'll be proficient at it in a few years even living with a Chinese wife. Ask Maxx and Arnold. I have every intention of making sure my child learns both languages from birth. It is very simple to teach a blank slate. They have no reference points therefore they never question the validity of anything you are teaching them. Like little sponges waiting for the knowledge to be imparted to them. I teach primary school so I am talking from real life experiences. These children are becoming bilingual at 3 and 4 years old. My one VIP student who is 7 years old is at a high school reading level, pretty amazing her comprehension and reading skills as well as having perfect pronouciation to boot. Irish, in three years your child will be teaching you Chinese, mark my words.
China Shark Mike

[Agarn]

Irish, your a bright guy, so i was suprised you asked this, Mike has covered most of it and hes right, children are like sponges and just absorb the information thats fed to them.
Years ago when in Lanzarote my friends children went to the english school but were taught in spanish, when at their house i noticed the girls spoke spanish when playing in the garden together but english when they entered the house they were 5 and 7 and both parents were english.
When in the philippines recently I reailized the children learn 3 languages, the national language Tagalog, their local language which changes completly throughout the country and when they start school they learn english
Its hard for us but not for them.

[Irishman]

Thanks Mike and Agarn, I guess the main concern I have is putting them at a disadvantage compared to other kids in school.

I am a tech guy - fairly good at math and fixing stuff but rubbish at languages, Ling works in a technical role also, I hope our kids would be better linguistically than their parents. I know I'm finding learning Mandarin tough as hell.

[Hajo]

Irish, as the others wrote. It is usually no problem for kids to learn the languages! As you might know, I am German living in Denmark. My son grew up with dad and mom speaking German at home until he was 10 (we divorced). Then we spoke Danish at home as I got married to a Danish lady. Many TV-series and movies are in original languages. There he picked up the English language. Today he is 18 and can speak all three languages. Not perfectly, because of the lack of practice.

But he talks German with is mother on the phone turns around to me, ask something in Danish and then he goes on with his mother in German. The same happens when he plays World of Warcraft, he speaks English with his friends there. Ask him in Danish, he answers in Danish and continues in English after that.

For your language problem, he he (sorry). I have watched a science documental once. It is proven that people with good math skills suck at languages and vice versa. I am good at languages, but I suck with math. I have a good friend, he is in softwaredevelopement and he is good at it. But foreign languages, forget about it. He sucks at it!

I think it is a very good idea to rise the kid bilingual and teach it the traditions of both countries!

[MLM]

Irish, when our new baby is here we will be teaching her both, when she is with me she will hear English and when she is with Zhou, she will hear Mandarin, this way she will learn both, alsao both my son and daughter have been teaching eachother  so now I am the only one that is lacking a little so I guess it's time to knockle down.

[Philip]

Hi,
my father is French and my mother is English. I was brought up in England. When the dominant culture is English, your friends, TV, books, films, you won't really be bilingual without a lot of effort with the other language, in my case, French. I went to France on holiday a lot as a child, so my French isn't bad. But language acquisition needs motivation and it is hard to be motivated to learn French if you are surrounded by English. My sister lives in France with her French husband and two sons and she has made a concerted effort to talk to them in English in a French-dominated culture. This means times when she only questions and answers them in English. Result: they are truly bilingual after a lot of effort.

Being bilingual is a good thing. Not only do you know two languages, you are aware of the structure of language itself, the metalanguage, which gives you a key into other languages. My nephew was talking to my Dad on the phone when he was about 7. He wanted to describe the weather in Normandy. There is a biting wind called 'La Bise', so he said, 'The wind is bising'. Brilliant. As far as I know there is no correlation between facility with languages and maths. My dad was a languages teacher for 30 years and is really good at maths.

Language, like any branch of learning is about application and use. If you have had more than one job, you find ways to apply the knowledge gained from one to use in the other. Similarly with language, besides the practical benefits of social and business communication with other cultures, it expands your knowledge base and your thinking skills. We use so little of our brain and this is great brain training.

So my advice is be systematic about it. Don't just assume it will just happen by osmosis - there needs to be motivation on behalf of the learner. And it must be fun and enjoyable.

By the way. I am learning Chinese. And I'm pretty damn motivated:icon_cheesygrin:

[Rhonald]

Ronan, I can speak from the opposite end of learning two languages. When my parents immigrated from Holland, my dad so wished not to be thought of as an immigrant that he pushed to learn English. His 5 children do not speak dutch except for knowing the few curses and a few other basic words. I wish I had learned as a child, because now I don't have much free time to learn it and of course, my desire is to learn that other fruity orange language.

I guess from the quantity and quality of posts so quickly put under this thread, the brotherhood had no disagreements on this topic.

[Arnold]

Qing and I have been thinking about this too . How to go about it the best way for both of us and TianChi ( her seven year old Boy ) . We will switch from English one week to Chinese the next inside the Home , for both of us to learn each other's language this way . If I can't pick it up doing this for , say a couple of year's ... than I will never pick it up . I'm 56 and I'm eager to give it a go , but I'm not fooling myself either , that I will ever speak it fluently . This is just a language too hard to learn for a old folk like me , but I'm certainly giving it a try . I don't know if it makes a difference knowing two languages already , that makes it harder for the third . Now Qing is still young at 40 , and she knows three already and is going for the fourth , and I'm the smart one ? Hehe .. sure .

[China Shark]

Arnold don't sweat it. You know more than enough to be happy with one another. In my case before I split up with Mei we didn't need to speak 80% of the time. It will be hard for us old dogs but like one of the guys commented that we are all truly motivated. It boils down to how much you really want to understand her culture and language. If you're in love with the girl that is all the drive we will all need. Hell, I'm a really good teacher yet the laziest student alive. I live here and feel like a retarded child arounds friends sometimes. Once I settle down with the next girl that I feel I want to be around with for good I will make that 110% effort, my worry is that subconsciously I will change girlfriends too frequently so I don't have to really study, lol. Whatever the case I am learning it a little by osmosis but not enough to be happy with myself about.
China Shark Mike

[MLM]

My son can speak English, Cherokee , and now Mandarin, my daughter can speak Cantonese, Mandarin, English and has laerned a good amount of Cherokee, my wife speaks Cantonese, Mandarin, English and will soon try learning Cherokee, I speak English, Cherokee very little Mandarin ( Still learning ) and when all is said and done I WILL learn Cantonese, this way as a family we will beable to talk with out outsiders knowing what we are talking about, when our daughter is born we will teach her all the languages we know, but first we will start  with English and Mandarin :icon_cheesygrin: