Alex, the happy fool

[Chong]

i would opine that PM is appropriate even for multiple recipients

I agree ... given certain situations.

In the end, everybody's ... going to do it / write it / post it ... their way ... because in their mind, it's the right way. This is after all, an Open Internet Public Forum. We have over 150 members, not everybody's going to agree on everything.

Even as a designated MOD, I have had some personal postings deleted. Maxx publicly warned me a few times. So I'm subject to posting limitations as well ... just like any other member. There are 7 MODS forming the committee to keep this Forum as clean, enjoyable and positive as possible. We do have our own discussions concerning these duties. Our 7 viewpoints ensure that there's not any bias towards issues.

[David5o]

Vince,

No-one is playing games here as you suggest!!
Yes Vince, it is the way your reading my posts, if you had read all that i had posted yesterday, to all the various people having a pop at me, you would, i hope better understand what i am saying.

I'll take each point that you made here to me. ....  The fools rush in thing was a general reply to all that think it's fine to let a fellow member rush into another relationship without at least trying to get him to step back and take another look.  I did however put your name on that posting, ...that was a mistake on my part. It wasn't my intention to aim that posting directly at you.

The ''Says who'' thing, was a direct quote taken from Arnold's  own post, and the angry thing was also taken as a quote from the same posting. Now the banter i made with Arnold at the bottom of the page, it was just that, ...''.banter'', Arnold has a dry sense of humour that i like and normally comes back, to back his stand.  Where you get the mock and the aggression thing i have no idea Vince. None was intended or given.....

Mocking the forum??  From the postings that were posted about Alex's situation and the gang-up against myself for putting my opinion over ....it certainly seemed that way in this particular instance.  Do you actually think that's mocking the forum? Or was it, if read another way asking a question to the forum?

What i wrote to you Vince, were valid observations, i was being ganged up on for giving my opinion, and you were implying, i was going to start some sort of name calling session. Even here, your implying aggression on my part, when the fact is,  .....there is , was, and never has been any aggression intended or given. So NO, i was not taking the hands on hip possition you stated....

Your last paragraph is i think the key, Yes we do all have our own personality, and our own way of saying and doing things... I know i can be blunt, and maybe too over forwardly straight talking, than most, but i am NOT an aggressive character, and I'm not looking for any form of fights, but i will always defend myself and my opinions. I am not asking or looking for anyone to change there own minds or there opinions either.  Just that, if anything i have said in a posting rings a little warning bell, where they do stand back and think a little more,..... that's more than good enough for me!!  But I agree, they will always do, what they want to do.

Vince, ....Both Alex and Arnold seem to be great guys , I'm not and have not tried to rubbish them in any way....  Alex i was trying to help, Arnold i was trying to tell,  that encouraging others to fall in love in the fast lane is wrong and can be dangerous. As stated elsewhere, i have a good respect for Arnold and the advice that he has given to others. I only have that one issue with him. Both are grown men in there own right, and both have come back here to say they have no problem with me, ....Or I to them either!! I will be replying to Arnold tonight.  I only popped in here to see what else has been written today, and decided to reply to your above posting.

Now i must get back to help my better half to decorate the spare bedroom, before i really get into trouble !!   hahaha!!

I hope this short reply to you, has cleared up one or two things. I am not the bad guy, that some seem to think I am, or want me to be!!   I'd rather have a good laugh and a joke with folk myself....

David.....

[Vince G]

It seems to be a trend on the internet to add, change, and taking someone's words and making it further than expected or intended. Prior to my posting I was at another site that gave accusations over words posted. Saying I said things I did not say. Followed by a phone call from someone telling me North Korea fired 3 missiles' at Hawaii? "Where did you hear this?" "On the Radio" After explaining it never happen and seeing how some believe what they read and hear no matter what. Yes, I have become protective of the words I write.

I did say it was the way I was reading it. I gave you a chance to say I was wrong or see it as I did. I DON'T EDIT or DELETE OPINIONS. The only time I go in and edit is to fix a link or a photo so it works and I usually send a note letting them know I did.

The reason I posted "It not going to happen" was directed at ALL. In case anybody took this forum for a free for all to start flinging fowl names with violent intentions.

As for the Hands on the hip comment. That was a joke to lighten the mood.

Chet I understand your comment that I should cool down. I wasn't hot. I will admit when provoked I do have an aggressive character. My apologies to any that thought I lost it. Lets clear the air and continue on.

Alex, I think you should give some more background on what's going on? What plans are you making?

[MLM]

David, I must apologize to you as I thought you were trying to cause trouble here on this forum, I have reread your posts and with a clearer head I belive I was wrong in my thinking, I would like to start over and stay friendly here, I stand corrected and offer my hand in friendship.

[Peter]

My hope is that every one will get back to original thing in this thread.. Some of us are happy for the sake of Alex and are wishing him all the best in the future. He alone have to face his decisions even if we all are thinking of his best.

[Ed W]

Thank you Peter. I couldnt agree more.

Best wishes for you Alex. Put your best effort into it.

[David5o]

David , I'm not upset with anything . Just wanted you to know , that I have never encouraged anybody to move " FAST " . I always re commented at least six month's of writing before ever going to visit . I did not move fast in my case either , it took six month's before I went to see her . Yes . I like to incourage our Guy's to stay positive and fight for their Lady , or whatever the problem is , but not do it at all cost's .
I appreciate your Post's as everybody else , so I see what your saying . I'm far from Perfect , I know that and sure hope everybody here know's that too .
Let's all stay calm .
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Arnold,

Like you, I'm not upset either.... and I'm very calm ...ha ha!!

I wasn't referring to moving fast in the context your stating here Arnold, all that you have written here i have no problem with at all.

What i was referring to, was to the many occasions where you encourage or agree, with guys that are stating that they have fallen in love with with there lady. Some of these guys had only been writing/communicating with there lady a matter of weeks. That is the wrong signal to send to these guys, and it can be devastating when reality hits these guys in the face.
 
You have often stated that you fell in love with your wife, very early after you first started writing to her.  Then went on, along your happy journey, confirming together at critical junctures that you had both found the right partner in each other. All that is fine Arnold, and everyone's happy for you I'm sure. It's the falling in love bit at the very beginning, How can anyone possibly be ''In Love'' with an image on a screen, and words on a screen no-matter how romantic they may all be. My Opinion again here, ....but your not going to know anything for sure, until you have met her in person, and even then, it's only the start of your real journey. These are the statements that you say ''make you really angry''!! .... Well they shouldn't there real issues. The fact that YOU managed to get through your time apart and your love actually did come to fruitition, detracts from these real issues for others....

All I'm saying here basically, is don't promote the idea of it's fine to fall ''in love'' with an image and words on a screen just because it worked for you. For the vast majority, it wont work, and at worst it could be devastating...  Much better to advocate Commonsense, to use your life experience (wisdom), listen to your gut feeling, and then with a bit of luck thrown in, ......it will at least set you on your way to where you want to be.  ....Or, at the very least, .....just say nothing!!

Lets hope this post doesn't create another gang-up by your mates Arnold. ...haha!!
It is just my opinion like anything else i might post here.....  All the best to you Arnold.

David......

[Philip]

Hi everyone,
just a quick line to say thanks for your input. I will expand a bit more on my situation, but not just now. Today I am enjoying my birthday, thinking about what it means to be 46, in love and engaged. Also, I am happily exhausted after watching Federer make history.
Alex

[Ed W]

Happy B-Day Alex. Looking forward to your expansion. It does seem a bit odd how quick it happend but on the other hand, you can't stop true love and if this is it, then my hats off to ya.

[MLM]

Happy Birthday Alex

[Irishman]

Happy birthday Alex, glad to hear things have taken a turn for the better. We are all grown men here, and the brothers will support you whatever happens, sometimes you have to do the crazy thing, sometimes it just feels right.
I dunno, personally I couldn't do it so fast but then again, that's the story of my life, maybe i second guess everything too much and don't take enough chances??, heck each to their own. I believe that with a good heart, good acts result in good things for that person and vice versa, a cosmic karma maybe..I'm rambling, best of luck!

[Arnold]

Hey , am I the last to wish you a Happy Birthday ? Alex , hope you Had a great day and Congrat's . on your Engagement .


David , thank you for your explanation . I do appreciate it much . Things do get heated sometimes and off Topic other times . I think  , I do need to be straighten'd out ones in a while , all this being in Love and all that waiting get's you sidetracked here and there . I do include my Wife often as an example , because she is after all alway's on my mind and I can't use Martin's or Ed's Wife for that matter .
So as I see it , when I do give a good and informative answer , I usually get a note of appreciation . So , when it's a not so good and of the wall , I also want to have a feedback to let me know I'm wrong . You did just that , so as a Mod .. I learned not to lash out like I used to on the Official Forum , which you might have seen ? I'm also sure you understand , I have a long list of friends here , that know me from the Official and we do watch each other's back , which I'm willing to do the same for them . So to see them , come and support me is of no surprise in cases of feeling that I've been done wrong . It's that closeness that makes this a Brotherhood . We do have People come here now and then and try to cause trouble and make this Forum what it's not .
David , I do apologize if it made you  uncomfortable , I take the blame for it ... totally .

[David5o]

Arnold,


Don't worry about it  Arnold, I'm not....  
As we all know none of us are perfect, and none of us has all the answers.
Yeah, ....i also understand about your mates on here too. hahaha!!
Although one did try to get really heavy with me on the PM, and thought that he was going to intimidate
me in someway. ....But he didn't and he won't.
Anyway as far as I'm concerned Arnold, the matters over and done with and forgotten and no apologies are required.

David....

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Alex....   Best wishes on your Birthday yesterday, and wish you a fruitful year. ( I thought i sent you a Birthday post yesterday, but can't see it on here... Mucked-Up again ...hahaha!! ) David.....

[Philip]

Dear everyone,
hello. I once saw Arthur Miller, the playwright, do a talk. Someone asked him if it was true that he wrote Death of a Salesman in 10 days. He replied that yes, it was true that he physically wrote it in that short time, but it was also true that it took him twenty years. Twenty years of life experience and research.
Why do I mention this? Well it is true that Zhimei and I have committed ourselves to each other very fast. It's a fact. Is it too fast? I don't know. It feels right to both of us. Do we think about it? Yes, constantly. Are there red flags? Not that I can see? Are we ready for marriage? Yes. We both have been ready for a long time.
Sometimes we seem to write each other's thoughts. Sometimes I express a wish in a general way and she translates it into practical specifics, which turns out to be exactly how I meant it.
Example: I had spoken about the kinds of things I would like to do when I visit in October, about meeting her family, about marriage, about where I will stay, about visiting Zhangjiajie and here's an exrtract of a letter she sent today:
"You know, I love you. SO, Honey, when you come to China, just feel easy at your home. ~_~ Honey, how about when you come, the first two days, you just have good rest at a hotel near my house. Because I think you must be very tired after a long trip. Of course, I will accompany with you and show you some places of Changsha if you like ? Then we got married as we discussed if we are still compatible when we meet ? Then you will be my official husband, and I will pick you up to my home, that's also your home. I will show you most of my family members. After that, we can spend the honeymood to Zhangjiajie, we will take lots of pictures in the international forest park. It is a fantastic park.. Also I can take you to Guangzhou to have fun. "
Well, that sounds perfect to me. I couldn't have imagined a better itinerary. I love her. She loves me. We're both pretty intense. I'm not particularly a doubting Thomas, but we have had discussions about how real this is or can be. But we believe in each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. And the more we get to know each other, the deeper the resolution grows.
Is it enough for it to feel right?
Alex:heart:

[Arnold]

Looks real to me Alex , or I'm the Fool . I say you are ready and she is waiting for you , to enter the married LIfe . All you need now , is stand in front of her and look her into  thr Eyes and you'll see ... if she is melting your Heart ? You take it from there Buddy .