Author Topic: China again, September - October  (Read 78166 times)

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Offline Neil

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #180 on: September 26, 2009, 08:19:58 am »
I'd say go back and read Shaun's post again.  Maybe a couple times.
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Offline MLM

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #181 on: September 26, 2009, 09:52:16 am »
Welllllllllllll, like I said before, I'm not a morning person :blush: and at 7:10 am, I was up for only 8 minutes, no coffee yet and still half asleep :sleepy:, but I promise from now on I will make sure I have had at least two cups of coffee before I try to read and make posts :angel:.
Sorry guys, it made sence at the time, I think. :huh:
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Offline Brian Mc

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #182 on: September 26, 2009, 10:52:41 am »
Greetings Brothers,

Sly, I think I have to agree with Shaun here.  From my view I think there is just too much jumping around from girl to girl.  Add in the language difficulty of there english your english, no electronice translator, (Keep in mind they are severely limited for complex subjects, but would certainly make dinner etc easier) and it seems your tendency to get a little upset that is probably showing either on your face or in your body language.

You are asking these ladies to be at your beck and call whenever one doesnt show you expect the next to be waiting for your call.  Unfortunately they are not like that.  You have to keep in mind that these ladies are people too.  They have lives and feelings and thoughts of their own.

I hate to say it Sly but if I were one of them I would be gone by now.  From reading your posts so far you have asked quite a bit from them, telling them you are seeing several ladies, unwilling to commit to just one, expecting them to come running when you call etc.  When things dont work out it seems you think its their fault.  

Perhaps its time to look in the mirror Sylvain and take a good hard look at who is looking back.  Ask yourself if you were one of these ladies would you still be willing to see you?  would you be all warm and friendly and happy and willing to work at a relationship that really isnt a relationship at all but rather an occasional and casual date?  If I were you I would do as Shaun and the others have suggested.  Try to patch up with one lady and spend your remaining time with just her.  Otherwise your trip may turn into an expensive casual dating romp with nothing accomplished but spending tme and money and getting no where but frustrated and disillusioned.

I have nothing personal against you Sly and this is only my opinion, but this is why we are all here, to support and help each other, and also if needed to give a swift kick in the rear.  This is my swift kick in your rear.  Feel free to take this as you wish but know that it is meant with the best intentions and your interests at heart.

Good luck and best wishes,

Zhen and Brian

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #183 on: September 26, 2009, 11:08:16 am »
Harsh mate...very harsh:s

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #184 on: September 26, 2009, 11:09:21 am »
Well said Brian , I will second all of your comments , with nothing further to be said , regards Robert .
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Offline victor-hills

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #185 on: September 26, 2009, 11:20:30 am »
My be harsh but true.
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Offline dude

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #186 on: September 26, 2009, 11:30:00 am »
I agree with Brian too...bro you need to have a good time while you are here! I came to meet one lady and everything is happening! Concentrate on one lady and go out of ur way to show her this! The clock will not stop so you shouldn't either! I have wasted no time...do the same and have some fun!!!

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #187 on: September 26, 2009, 01:16:23 pm »
Syl, I'm sorry the trip isn't going according to plan. I don't think there's an easy solution though. I'm only planning on seeing 1 lady on my trip. I've spent a lot of time chatting to her. But I am taking a gigantic risk by putting all my eggs in one basket. I just found it too difficult to talk to several ladies at once.

I think you've had an interesting trip though, and would love to see some photos of your adventures!

:fi_lone_ranger:

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #188 on: September 26, 2009, 01:56:35 pm »
well well well...
I know I can be blamed for many things and because I am in contact with many ladies and so on...
Ok.
Ok too, I admit that maybe is it a good thing that I did not go to Guangzhou, because the lady who I shared so many things just don't give so many news since this morning... what to say else?
Ok I wanted to see the other ones in Shanghai, but, as it is written, they all have their own life, so they can do anything and be with anyone. It wasn't meant for sure that I'd stay 2 weeks in Shanghai...
Ok, maybe is it right too that I should look at myself in a mirror and ask what I really want and who I willy to marry maybe someday...
But...
Please let me know how man would do when he only knows each of the three lady, only a little? In one week, wouldn't man try to know a bit some more about all of those three ones and trying to see / guess who is his best suitable one?

I have exchanged many EMF's but less than 20 with each of those 3 ladies, and it was before I talked to Lyian (if my memory is good).
As they all were in Shanghai, I'd say that it would be good to have any plan B if the plan A would run away.
So, let's talk about those 3 ladies, and the only few things I can know from each of them :

- Flora : her real name is Qing, she is only 27 and lives in Guangzhou but works in Shanghai. She is the first of those 3 ladies to have sent me a private mail (from her personal one, so) with a picture of her and a little message in english. Quite beautiful, nothing to say about it. But... She never replied to any of my mails, even if it was in chinese or in english...I just can't tell you why, she never said it to me...
Via EMF's, she was always sweet but only talked a little from her. I can't either say if she prefers black color or white one, if she likes France or not... she said me she was learning english but.. when I met her, she said me she didn't... so that you can easily imagine that for most of askings I had asked her via chnlove, I had to do it once again, face to face... but most of time, she was upset, because of the language barrier.
However, she is quite a nice person and beautiful, but because of the language barrier without any translator, it is very difficult to share many good things together. I know she said her parents were traditional but they may can like foreigners... That's just a bit some news, would I say.

- Dora : Her real name is Hui Xu, she is 28 and works in a company (import/export). Since the beginning, she is very friendly, and her name is just "funny" because Dora is also the cartoon my daughter likes watching whenever possible. Well, she's very good in english and is very nice, gives good advices but... how to say... the chemistry is not really here... :-/
I like her, for sure, I enjoyed talking with her many hours but there's a little something missing. Maybe do I ask too much, I don't know.
However, she's the first chinese lady who was "quickly" so sweet with me.
Just to say something more : when I had to leave for Guangzhou, she didn't give any news, I had to ask her via SMS how she was, and then she replied. But since we left each other, she did not give in fact any news. Anyway, she knew I would see other ladies and, as she said, "letters are not face to face" or something like this, meaning that via letters, it could be very good and so on, but face to face, the chemistry would be more "active".
Even Lyian told me about it. And that's quite normal, even if sometimes, man runs and doesn't go slowly, but surely.

So now, about Cecilia :
Her real name is An Na, but don't ask me why she's Cecilia.
She is in fact only 30 since beginning of September. (I was wrong yesterday about the ages :( )
She's working in the advertising/media (if my memory is good, she is like some "journalist", "interviewer".
she never travelled outside China, her parents live in her hometown, and since I speak with her, most of time, I got some longs news, some other ones, some short ones. She is beautiful on pictures (via CHNLOVE) but more in real. Her english is very good but because of my accent, most of time she doesn't understand me clearly. We never really spoke about marriage via EMF's letters, in fact, but she told me that she met some men but that she didn't find the righteous one.
I think that, because sometimes she is "as cold as ice", it is because she must try to understand first my english sentence, then to translate it again. I'll need to confirm about it ASAP.
She said me she really liked me, but...I'll post some more about it tomorrow, as for now, it is almost 02:00 am in China.
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Offline Brian Mc

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #189 on: September 26, 2009, 02:47:06 pm »
Greetings Brothers,

Mike, I think you may have mis understood what I was saying to Sly.  I was trying to point out that he is trying to see multiple different women and is not having much success.  It seems whenever one cannot meet him he says he basically goes down the list trying to set something up with a diffferent one.  I was merely trying to point out that they are people too and may not be willing/ able to do that on his terms.  I certainly dont expect Sly to be able to pick the one on such short notice, but I do think he is having a real hard time with scheduling and communicating.

Even though all the girls know about the others and they are fine with it it must be hard for them to warm up or commit anything other than casual contact since none of them including Sly know where its going to lead.  I think perhaps things have gotten a bit out of control for Sly with the schedules, and language etc and its starting to fall apart.  Hence my advice to try to pick one for the duration and hopefully have a successful end to his trip.

I certainly do not want to see the ladies or Sly get hurt from this  and I am not trying to force my methods on him.  I am merely pointing out things that he said himself.  Difficulty in communicating, the ladies being hot and cold or even cold as ice.  How he feels angry and upset sometimes and I think they can see it.  Sometimes when we are in the situation we cannot see what the problem is.  After all is this not why we are here?  To lend support and offer advice.  We all know not everyone does things the same way and often the advice given may sound harsh or offensive even.  But think on this, if we didnt care about Sly in particular in this case we would not offer any advice at all.

I for one would be very happy if Sly were to return to France and be able to  say that he has found a connection with one of these ladies and in the end his trip was a success.  I think after his last trip and the way things are going on this trip he needs some success and is due for it.

Sly, I hope you do not take any personal offence from what I have written to you.  I never meant any of it in a harmfull or disrespectful way.  I think that since you are living it you just may not see things as clearly as we do looking in from the outside.  Of course I may just be out in left field and totally nuts.  Bottom line is we want you to have fun and a successful trip.  If a swift kick can help you see things clearer then its worth it dont you think?

Anyway I hope this clears my point of view a bit but also keep in mind, its just my opinion and you dont have to listen to it.  I will let others say what they will but I dont see any point in not offering advice if I think it may help.  That is why we are all here after all, to give and receive advice and manage our way to the greatest happiness a man can know.


Regards,

Zhe and Brian

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #190 on: September 26, 2009, 08:11:36 pm »
Dear Brothers,

Be sure that for many reasons, I have many respect for all of you and that, for sure, I'm not angry because of what you can give as advices/comments.
Being for most of you, older than me, is also a sign and a proof that you have some more experience and a "better" way to think than me (I think you understand what I'm tryin' to say, so)

I think that for sure, if I'd spend 3 days with one lady, 3 other days with another one and just a few days with another one again, it might be more "easy".

Whatever happens, about Dora, even if she kissed me first, just remember too that the next day, she just gave me the hand and no kissed anymore. But it's ok for me, anyway.
But, as said in my previous post, even if she's beautiful, there's still "un certain je ne sais quoi" which is missing to say she's really the righteous one for me.

Maybe about Flora could it be nicer if, for sure, I'd had an electronic translator. In fact, I'm going to buy one today, so I will train with it :)

Cecilia is someone very special : in fact, she's very beautiful and I often feel shy when I see her and when we are walking together, hand to hand. She even let me pass my arm around her and seems to like it.
So I would like to speak about her because... of yesterday.

Right to now, to be honest, I just know more about Cecilia than about Dora and Flora.
First, I was in Shanghai this afternoon because I wanted to find and buy some electronic translator. Maybe some of you would say "what for, as you're leaving now in a few days..."
and some maybe would be happy... well, whatever happens, the fact is here, I was in a big shop where there are lot of electronical components, phones, videogames, displays, gps, memories, and translators, too.
So, I've checked for some one and I found one which is quite interesting, but the price is about 1450 rmbs' (with lot of functions, many dictionaries included, as english, french, german....). Its name DC-18 or something like this. It seems to be a good besta translator but I didn't buy it, as I didn't have enough money on me...
So, when I was back to the hotel, I saw that Cecilia called me. I then called her back and she tried to contact me 3 times in the afternoon.
We then saw each other in front of her flat, and we went eating in a ... chinese food. She was happy to see me, gave me the hand, was sweet...
Well. I was a bit "surprized", would I say, but ... it was ok.
A thing that made me smile, she better understood me in english, and learnt me a few words in shanghainese, too.
So, when we walked together and were eating, most of time, she gave me her hands, she looked at me several times with "tenderness?" and I thought something was a bit different from yesterday.
She then told me that her night was quite short, she sleeped bad and that she was a bit "angry" this morning but that she was better this afternoon.
One song was diffused and it was "Glenn Meideiros : Nothing's gonna change my love for you..."
Cecilia seemed to know the song very good and she sang easily on it. She was smiling and happy, it was nice to see her like this.

When finishing to eat, we just went outside and she wanted to show me her college where she was before. She was very happy to share that moment with me, as it was very important for her because of many memories she had. She even tried to contact someone who was there with her but I think the other one was not free.
At that moment, she looked at me and she said she had something to tell me.
So, I said her I was listening, and she told me about her, about me, together, and about marriage.
She said I'm an interesting man, and gentle, nice, and that she really likes me. She made up her mind yesterday at night when going back home about me, and when she told me about going to visit her hometown, in fact, I was right. It is because her parents still live there so that she would introduce me to them.
I think that now, everybody here clearly knows what it means.
She opened my shirt slowly and looked at me with a big smile (oh God, for sure, she wasn't cold!!! :D) and saw my pills (a few ones) and she was happy ("not many", she said to me while smiling) and I looked at her, I said that yes, just a few. She seemed to be happy. We then talked about my arms, (under it) and I saw that I shaved it because I didn't really like. To her, I think it meant I was "careness" about my body and many other things like this.
I also excused myself that I didn't shave me at morning, she said "it's ok" and she then talked about marriage again, saying she would be very happy to be with me, but how she would do once in France, even if for sure, she doesn't speak french at all.
I then talked about some stages where she can learn french, at first time, and then, looking for some jobs, even if it doesn't please her, because each job earns money back home, whatever man can do, and whatever he likes his job or not, even for a few time.
She was ok with it, because she told me she didn't want to be the woman who stays at home everyday, cleaning, washing, and many other things that some Macho's men can like.
She told me that up to now, only her ex-boyfriend had seen her parents, so, if I would had to do the same, it would be for her parents the 2d time she would introduce someone to them.
I asked her if they could like a foreigner, she looked at me and said "I don't know". I think because she didn't speak to them about me, right now.
About her parents, they live on a little island, in fact man can go there only with a boat, and there are many islands. All of it are some little towns, and when she talks to me about it, she's very happy.
I said her too that if we would marry and that if she would come in France, I would be behind her everyday to motivate her and to help her, just because at first, she'd be lost, another country, no family, no friends... it is very hard, I can easily understand it.
She looked at me many times, she looked my eyes, she even laid her head on my legs, just to "rest" a bit and was happy.
I was thinking about a kiss, but I also told me that the moment would maybe not be very "good". Just because I would do things slowly, but surely. Anyway, I think that up to now, I did the good choice about it.
I told Cecilia that when I'm in a relationship, I am always gentle, sweet, but that she already could see it, because of my way to be with her.
She is thinking so about "if" we marry and about going to see her hometown before I could leave Shanghai. She already know that it would be a short time.
But, well, I must admit that I take care about me in that relationship, just because it is only with many "if" that she talks to me about her and me, together :)
So, if she said to me that she really likes me, it doesn't mean that she loves me. I think this word is very important and that, for sure, I'd like some comments about most of you, Brothers, who are now married.
Before you got married, did your lady tell you that she loved you?
And did you share many kisses before, too?
I can guess that can be some stupid questions, but to me, being introduced to her parents without any "kiss" between her and me would just sound a bit strange.
And to me, to love is not to like. Even if, for sure, she says me she really likes me.
Well.
I told her what I thought about her, anyway, that, most of times, when I talked to her on the phone, she seemed to be "distant", as cold as ice, so, and I tried to explain her why I felt it. She looked at me and said "mei guan xi" (nevermind, so) but it is maybe "normal", i don't know. and that sometimes, I see her in the street, she gives me the hand, then, she keeps it away from mine, she walks alone, then, she comes back to me. And the reply "mei guan xi", still here :p
It seems that she really knows what she wants, and as we will see each other today, I'll try to know some more about her and to see how everything would be, with her
I also forgot to thank you, Mpo', about your comment on the food, because, yesterday, she shared with me her meal at the restaurant, and she even gave me something to eat directly in my mouth. She was very happy, so were I, even if a bit surprized, at first, but it was ok.

Well, I also feel a bit "away", sometimes, just because I had some feelings (very good ones) for Lyian, and that, as An Na (Cecilia) talks me about marriage, I don't want anyway to say myself "it didn't work with her, just marry another one) even if it would seem stupid to have thought about some nice things with Lyian... but once again, it is difficult to understand it, because we never saw each other face to face.

I admit anyway that I really like Cecilia and that I'm really happy to see her. She's beautiful, clever, she knows what she wants, so she's "direct" when talking about something,

So, I think that, related to her, there's a door opened and that I have a choice to do in the following days. I know what it means, including my way to be with Dora and Flora, also.
Anyway, I will see Cecilia this afternoon, she should call me at 05:00 pm (I don't know what she can do before, don't ask to me, but I suppose she can have a life and wants to see some friends or something to do... I don't know, but anyway, I'll find something to do :) )
and by the way, I'll check with her for an electronic translator and maybe a chinese mobile, because she can't call me when I'm outside the hotel, she can only call in China.

I think that's all for the moment.
Maybe some update later, maybe some pictures about her if she lets me take her in photo, in fact :)
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Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #191 on: September 26, 2009, 08:46:20 pm »
Sylvain, try and find a China Mobile sim card for 100RMB in most phone shops, and if not, there are plenty of cheap dual sim phones available so you don't have to carry two around ...

Bonne continuation!
Go deep or don't go

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #192 on: September 26, 2009, 11:07:39 pm »
Voice', I was thinking about it, but for 100 RMB, isn't there any chance for it to be only some fake ones?
In fact, I would like to have at the same time a chinese mobile phone (with chinese simcard, so, and to use with my french simcard) but I don't know if it's really possible, even if there are some with dual sim cards inside.. I've asked someone from the hotel, he doesn't know if it's really possible, I'll have to see, so.

by the way, I'm going to the big shop once again this morning, and to another place, to look for some shoes for me (my shoes just look like "old white shoes", even if I can still use it for walking, running and so on...:fi_lone_ranger: )

Merci l'ami ;)
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Offline dude

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #193 on: September 26, 2009, 11:50:14 pm »
Bro...I have little experience with women in China...but I feel universally women enjoy a nice kiss...if the mood is right...don't hesitate...just go for it! My lady and I wasted no time for kissing! I do the out-in-the-open respect thing...but in Taxi's, her home, restaurants ...she loves a nice kiss! Well, we are currently a couple hours away from each other(by plane) but they are the same everywhere! Just remember, Shanghai is a big city with big western influence....just like Changsha!  LOL:icon_biggrin:

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: China again, September - October
« Reply #194 on: September 27, 2009, 04:40:14 am »
Little update on that Sunday.
I went to a shop to look for some new shoes but I didn't find what I wanted (some baskets) I also have some shoes for city but I just didn't find... well, it doesn't matter :)
So, I asked a taxi to take me to another place where I could buy a new phone, but just to receive and call in China (dual simcard not really needed in fact), and I got to the place about 35 mins later because of a car which was out of order on the motorway, otherwise I could had gone there quickly.
Then, the taxi driver showed me the place, it is like a market inside a building, on 3 floors. I checked at many phones, and there were some youngs which were at a stand, I asked them, they were friendly and we spoke about 20 mins together, where I was from, what I wanted as phone, why I was in China, and many other things. Thanks to a lady and another boy, I could easily talk in english and say what I wanted as phone, a simple one, so, just to call and receive calls in China.
About 340 rmb's so with a phone, simcard included.
I've tested it and there's no problem.
I then sent Cecilia my phone number, so she "should" contact me on my new number.
By the way, I had a fake copy of Iphone... and my french simcard works into it without any problems. I thought it couldn't but it can... strange?

Mike, about Cecilia, I don't know what to think about it, in fact, because if I have to see her parents before having a kiss, it still would sound strange to me. I know that different country, different culture, but how to say "here is my new boyfriend but I've never kissed him" ?
By the way, I'll see how things will evolve as we should see this afternoon.

I wanted to go with her to look for an electronic translator. If she doesn't come, I'll go alone, I think it would have been good anyway because she might be helpful to say what can be good or not, and as she's chinese, she can ask more specificities :)

Oh, I forgot to say, but, by the way, I've lost 2 kgs since I'm here ^^ 'seems like going to the swimming pool everyday is quite good, and not drinking any coke nor eating any big mac and pizzas is quite helpful, too :D

Any news later, Brothers.
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