China again, September - October

[brett]

Yes I can recommend not talking through EMFs all the time. MSN is great, I can now send pretty good chinese, and my lady sends me English. We now only use EMFs for important things. Seeing my lady on Skype was also great, so I have established that she looks as good as her profile pics and I also know she has a lovely voice :icon_cheesygrin:.

[Sylvain D]

Hemmm...

well... this day is a bit like a rollercoaster too but in positive.
I went to the big shop to look and buy a good electronic translator and I found the Super 5100 (many dictionaries inside), for about 1200 rmb's.
I'll speak about it later, but maybe did anyone here has even tried it ?

I then had a message from Lyian, sayin' me she could see me if I wanted to go there again. we talked a bit quickly, she was at work and so, I said I had to check... but for sure, I was happy she could see me, finally.

Well.
I checked on the web, but no way to get a flight for Gz without any chinese credit card in less than the 24 hours following your chosen flight (for example, today for tomorrow), via WWW.CTRIP.COM
I tried many websites, many problems, but finally, I could check and book one via EXPEDIA. But the number for the hotline is a 0800 and no way to call it since another country than in France.

So, I'll be in Gz tonight, upon Saturday.
I'll give any more news once there (I just have to confirm at the airport that I can go there, as I don't have any seat booked... just the flight is ok, but not any seat... I hope it would be good anyway :s)

[Sylvain D]

Thanks about your advice, Mike, I will have to think about it for the next trips or when I will be in Gz, too

I have to leave, see you later

[JimB]

Sly,
Please tell me what are you really trying to accomplish?  You seem to be running around China like a Chicken with your head cut off.  If you want my opinion.  Set down with each of these women with a good translator, either real or computerized.  Ask them what they are looking for, then tell them what you are looking for.  If it is the same great, go to the next step.  if not, go to the next woman.  you seem to be running a game here.  you are not really communicating with them.  You have one thinking you have asked her to come to sleep with you, another wanting you to come back to her hometown for who knows what, a third one who you just talked to for 5 minutes.   Man, just sit down and ask yourself what are you really trying to accomplish with this trip.  Is it to confuse as many women as you can? Or to confuse yourself?  Jesus.  I am sorry but i have read two trips from you and you do not seem to really know what you want.  I had you write a lady I know, she said she had no idea what you wanted, other than you loved your daughter.  While that is great, she was totally confused by you.  I suggest this.  Sit down with a human translator.  Tell him/her what you want and are looking for.  have him/her call each lady.  tell them and see which one is looking for the same thing.  the ones that are, make an appointment to see.  make sure you can communicate with them. it seems to me that the way you are now going about it is just nonsense.  Look, you are the one going to see them.  It is upon yourself to be able to communicate with them, not the other way around.  I do not mean to be mean here.  I just think you are spinning your wheels wasting your time and a lot of money.  If you want to lay into me, fine go ahead.

[Scottish_Rob]

Jim, I know everything you said what said with the best of intentions, and I can see why it was said...But man maybe just a tad harsh !!!

[brett]

Yeah, that was harsh Jim, but maybe it was needed.

I learned an interesting thing once. You need to know who you are, and what you want. They are big questions, and it takes a bigger man to answer them.

I have answered both on my profile. I have told the ladies exactly who I am, and what I am looking for.

Syl has had a great trip though. Life is for living, and I'm sure he'll remember this trip for the rest of his life :sleepy:.

[Philip]

Sylvain,
my sincerest hope is that this thread does not compete with your Chongqing thread for the title of the longest thread on Chinalove.
I like rollercoasters, but they always make me feel sick afterwards. Maybe because I am older than you, I prefer staying in, curled up with a beautiful woman and watching a DVD, then turning the TV off.
I hope when you get off the plane and come down to earth, you give your singular and unwavering attention to the lady who maybe was always your favourite. Don't compare her with anyone else. She is unique. And if the spark is there, create a fire, and keep it burning.
Aux armes, citoyen!

[David E]

you guys need to learn how to communicate outside of the EMF'S...geeez!!! QQ, MSN, YAHOO...anything but them EMF's...

Yes, of course you are right....but getting on to QQ etc seems to be as hard as pulling teeth. I have found a serious resistance to getting to this stage with many, many women who I have corresponded with for a while on EMF's...I still havent figured out why it is so difficult / scary for them...or is it the translator resisting the change from revenue generating EMF's. ??...I am sure all of us "prospecting" dont have any problem with the idea of QQ etc, but I dont know how we "learn" to do this..........most of them make some odd excuses ......so, if you have any magic formulas to make it happen...share them please !!!!!!!

DavidE

[David E]

Yes Mike

All good stuff and I completely agree with your analysis....I can certainly understand that to "go solo" on QQ after the technical and financial burden of getting and installing acomputer is a terrifying thought for any Woman....especially if she is not confident with English etc etc....

But I guess my point is, it is difficult to envisage that any of the Agencies doesnt have web-cam facilities...so why dont they encourage women to use them.

I know there is an added complication that the women might not live close to the Agency and travel might be difficult in some circumstances....but I dont yet know why the web-cam experience, at the Agency, WITH a translator is such a hard thing to achieve !!!

That is why I wonder if it is the Agency trying to protect EMF revenue....but then again, maybe I am getting parnoid about it all ...possibly data overload from reading all the "disaster" posts :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

I realise that you went to Chinato meet Jessica after not having any face-to-face contact, and you won the prize, but for me, I aint going to meet anyone again unless I have some more solid idea about her , more than I can get from an EMF  !!

Cheers  David

[David5o]

It's my opinion that the ladies involved in a relationship with a western man should be prepared to put as much into that relationship as the man. If they are as keen on progressing that relationship as the man is. There are several ways they can improve communications if they put there mind to it!!. For a start there are internet cafe's everywhere. If they don't know anything about computers, to use such facilities, then there's nothing stopping them from learning.

Why is it, that these ladies are not prepared to match the commitment, that the men they are involved with are?? It seems that we are always making excuses for a lot of these ladies, as to why they cant do this or that. If they are serious about the man, why are they not making that extra effort that there men are??

As i have said, there are internet cafe's everywhere, or they can buy a secondhand computer/laptop. It doesn't need a high end one, in fact the most basic unit is more than capable of processing emails and IM's and even webcam.

I think some of the problems arise from the agencies themselves, by trying to block any such extra communication for as long as possible, protecting there revenue from the EMF's, but not all problems can be attributed to these agencies.

Personally, if i couldn't see some effort from the lady i was involved in, to progress our relationship after say a month or so, then i would be seriously thinking about moving on. I would also be letting the lady know that i was disappointed of her reluctance to improve our communication levels beforehand.

To my view, a relationship, especially one that is initially taking place over the internet needs equal commitment, we are both looking/seeking a life long partner, when all said and done. Doesn't that deserve your full commitment on ''both'' sides of the relationship?? It does in my book!!!

David....

[shaun]

David5o,

Now if we could get you to go to China and explain it to all of our women beginning with mine then we would all be better off.  Thanks for the advice and offer to go in my behalf, in advance. :icon_cheesygrin:

Shaun

[Sylvain D]

David, I agree with your comment.
The fact is, when man is in his western country, most of the women say "I am very happy to know that we will meet soon".
Once the meeting is done, I see that some ladies do act like "it's ok, I've seen him one/two times, now I can do what I want... I'll see if I'll see him again before he leaves"
Well. Ok.
I can easily admit that they have work, that they have life. But via EMF's, there are always more feelings which are like "i miss you, i want to take you to beautiful places... " and so on.
Maybe should I say in fact that I am unlucky, if many of you have never lived that kind of thing?

Jim, reading your comment lets me a bit "suspicious"?
If I well remember, you told me about a lady in Beijing and told me many good things about her. You even said me to write a letter to her and that she would write back..but I had to send you the letter just because you didn't want me to give me directly her mail adress.
Whatever you would reply, the thing is that she never wrote back. Not even a "hello, sorry, you're not the kind of man I'm looking for..." So, why are you talking about her? You want to show me the kind of ladies who can not write if there is something she can not understand at all? I think (if my memory is good) that I said in the end of my letter that if she wanted to ask me any questions, she could. And why would I say in the first letter what I'm looking for? Is there any law which say that man MUST talk about it?
Jim, and the lady who I said she could even "sleep" at the hotel and the lady who wanted to introduce me to her parents, she's the same...

To me, things were clear when I had to go and see Lyian. That's why I told about her in my thread.
But as I could not see her before, I didn't know too how things could have been with the 3 other ladies.
If any of them were/are looking for true love, well, just try to tell me if true love means "I see you 4 days on two weeks, that's enough." ?

I just can see that, since I am with Lyian (except today because she had to go working), she is really as in her letters, the same as when I speak to her via QQ and she is very nice and beautiful.
Well, as she said before we meet "I need the face to face to know if there can be something between you and me". Now, I'd just say that we'll see how things will evolve as I will be 4-5 days with her (same hotel, same room).
I think I don't have to be blamed because I never meant to play with ladies's feelings. If I said that I would see many ladies, To me, things were clear at first that Dora, Flora and Cecilia were meant to be as "good friends" when I first saw each of them. Ok everyone knows what happened next.

I'm not trying to "beat" any record in any thread. I could easily stop here and don't tell what could happen in the following days. So, I don't why there's that comment?

So, now, I'd just say I'm waking up and I'll go for a walk in Gz, as I don't know what to do until Lyian comes back tonight at 08:00 pm.

[David E]

Yep...thats how i see it David et al.........just a small show of "determination", "reciprocation" or willingness to give some level of attention to demonstrate that she is keen to progress the relationship, would for me be a BIG "Green Flag".

I get tired of being the one who has to make ALL the running....because I am looking for a partner...not a Boss !!!

All of us here are prepared to take a big chance, jump on a plane at great cost in time and money, for the privilege of being rejected ...or maybe not.

It is not unreasonable to get some signals that there is a real purpose in making this journey ? Both parties have much to gain if it all works out.........maybe it cant be 50:50 in the early days because of language/culture and all the impediments we read about here...Agencies/EMF revenue etc etc....but some help to assist our decision would be a big help indeed !!

DavidE

[dude]

Mike and David E., I understand everybodies situation is unique...what isn't unique is computers and internet access in this country...unless the lady lives in the sticks(she won't be able to afford paying an agency to find western husband), these women have access!!! You all have the right to disagree with me and say I'm wrong, I really don't care, I haven't had these problems...of course, I can't speak for the over half a billion women in China, butt here in Changsha and in Wuhan, Shenzhen, Hong Kong, and Macau this ISN'T the case...access to computers and China's popular IM program QQ, isn't a problem...like David50 said ...if these women are equally interested in you, they will find a way to communicate outside them EMF's...I won't tell you guys to pressure these women immediately but after a month(this being a very long time), you need to broaden your communciation with these women...if you choose not to, this is your choice...I choose to go as far as I can...if I'm travelling that far to meet this women, I will not settle for EMF'S only...my choice!!! I also know that at least one agency charges these women to transfer QQ information! So again...everybodies situation is unique, if you choose EMF's only...I wish you the best of luck!:icon_cheesygrin:

[brett]

Just another thought to add to Mike's thoughts is the fact that being able to type Chinese characters might be difficult as well. I still don't fully know how it's accomplished. Chinese is horribly awkward to write, so I guess most Chinese will just pick up a phone and call each other.

Hell, my dad can barely use a keyboard and there are only 26 characters to look for :huh:.

I am lucky that my lady has an IT job and is familiar with QQ etc.. But I guess a lady who lives in a small town and owns a shop may not have used a computer before.