Well, that makes me smile to see that my thread is always "spammed" by many things but eh... i still like reading many things, even if I'm not sure to show the latest photos by Shaun, Vince and Willy
Ok, let's talk a bit more about Liyan...
Hem..
yesterday was a very nice day, as always in fact.
But for any reason, we told about income, houses... and that began to not be "very clear" at first.
I then told Liyan that with my income, as I was the owner of my studio, I didn't have to pay any "fees" for it, nor than for my car. (except insurances for the studio and the car, plus gasoil, of course). So that was good because I could save some money
you can not save money because you are a man, and men can't save money
Ok she won one point on it...
I then told her that of course I could save some, because how would I have gone in China so?
So, she smiled.
She then asked me about babies : I told her that there is no law in France (nor in other western countries, I think) to have any baby, except when man is under 18 years old. No need to be married (but it's also better to be married if man wants a children, my point of view about it) and that man could have 1, 2, 3 children, it was very different from China.
Then she was ok about it.
but how will you do to help me, to support me in France with only your job, and giving money to your parents???
I didn't know what she asked about my parents and I realized she didn't know about it.
So I told her "why should I give them money ? Well, in fact, man doesn't give money to his family, he can if he wants, but it's not like in China... so I don't really need to give them money."
She then understood.
She also wanted to know about having a house. I quickly checked on my city and there were some houses to sell for about 540.000 € up to 780.000 € easily (about 5.400.000 rmb's so up to 7.800.000 rmb's easily)
I told her "no way to buy a house if man is alone" and she said it was expensive. That's why I told her that with just my income, alone, I didn't think about buying a house. But with her (for sure), it would be better, later. And if it could be on that way, then I could rent my studio or sell it...
But from here to "later", there will be time and many things can happen.
Well, she said she understood all that and that we worried now about money. I said that I didn't worry too much about it because I really think I can support her with my income (even if I get only 14.500 rmb's / month and that about 5.500 rmbs easily were for fees, insurances, gasoil, and so on. )
Later in the night, we went on talking she was still happy to talk with me, she even showed me that on her computer, her background was a photo of her and me in Gz, together, so I was very happy to see it
One friend called her (it was quite 11:40 pm easily) and Liyan was confused then...
Once she hang up, she told me that it was one of her friends (lady), who told her she wanted to divorce with her husband because too many quarels and so on.
So she told me that we were too fast, we did things too fast, we need time, and that marriage was frightening her. she also told me that her friend married "quickly" with her boyfriend and that they didn't know really each other, so that we had to know more about each other.
Well.. I then began to be confused too.
First, she told me she loved me, she really loved the 5 days with me and that she was ready to talk with her parents about us and that she was sure to do something about it.
Then, it was like if she just went one step back, saying "Well, I'm not sure, now, about marriage..."
I then told her my point of view...
Many persons get married and divorce, but there is no way to criticize about western countries and china, because it is the same, I think, everywhere in the world. I also told Liyan that she was frightened because of a marriage between a chinese woman and a western man and that most of time it came to separation? But what about her friend and her husband? (*meaning he was chinese, so, we were not to blame, here*)
I told too that I know some of my friends who knew in a few weeks then lived together, on the next year they got married and now had 3 babies and are still together. I meant that every man has his own lovestory, we can not say "this one married and divorce, so I will not marry..." because the situation, the story would never be the same...
She understood it.
I also told her I really loved her, I didn't have to think about marriage if I MUST HAD to think about divorce.. just because if I would have to think about DIVORCE, I would never think about marriage...
She also understood it too.
She then excused herself because as her friend was a very good friend, that affected her, and I told her that I could understand it clearly. Even if it was a "bad news", but that, however, was not meant to be the same for Liyan.
Sometimes, I feel she cares and worries about many things because of the language, because of living outside china, because of many things, but she also told me she was ready to do that choices because she loved me.
I also told her that yes, we needed time to know about each other, but even if we were together, at the end of our lives, who would say we could know each other 100%? Nobody really can, it's again my personal point of view. Man can know maybe 95-99% of his half-one but not 100%. But anyway, it was very nice to be able to know some more about each other day by day. I also sent her all the photos about my childhood, with my family, and she was very happy to get it. i also told her that yes, I'd wish to go again in February to see her (St Lover's day) and we talked about wedding, I then said "maybe that day would be special" and she then said "maybe good news that day"... she smiled...
So I do my best to give her any comments and my point of view about it.
She was very tired as it was midnight and had to go sleeping.
Her last words were "you will with me" and I asked then "how long?" and she said "I hope always".
The word "hope" means that she can worry but she'd like something very nice to happen...
Well.
I had to go and see one of my best friends and his girlfriend, we talked about Liyan and me many times and they gave me good comments about it, that yes, we needed time, and for sure, they could understand Liyan's worries, too, and about her parents.
They also told me to relax and to see how it will evolve with time.
But however, when I came back home, I sleeped very bad... maybe 2 hours...
I felt a bit "guilty" about my comment yesterday night about Liyan's friend and her lovestory and I didn't want to hurt Liyan, too. I then sent her a sms plus a mail, saying that I was sorry if I didn't find the righteous words about her friend and her lovestory, and how much Liyan was important to me
"ni dui wo hen zhong yao" (you are important to me)
I worried this morning about yesterday night. Maybe should I not?
She sent me a message, hoping I had good sleep, and that I didn't have to worry about us.
She then make me smiling, I thanked her about her message on my mobile, and she then said "my dear Tan Wen kiss you" and I then thanked her again and kiss her back.
So now...
I don't really know what to say, I'm happy anyway because of her message this morning. I just hope all will go on well on QQ when I'll talk to her... maybe today afternoon or maybe tomorrow, as today is my daughter's birthday..
To be continued.
