China again, September - October

[ttwjr32]

i know the chinese language is one in the states that is gaining
in popularity at language schools and community colleges so maybe
she could teach chinese there in France.

[Voiceroveip]

Yeah, start with me

[Sylvain D]

Hi & many thanks for the tips
Well, I'm using again my phone as modem to connect quickly.. (too bad...)
I am thinking about a turist visa if Liyan can come for a short period (just one week, at first), then, when I would go there again, then if everything is very good (because of her parents), then being ready for the wedding in China, and then looking for spouse visa.
Frank, I began to look on BonjourChine, I found some many good tips on it, for sure, it is useful.
Liyan told me that today she would go to see how to do to get a visa to come in France. Actually no news, but I think she is busy.
I gave her my chinese mobile (when I was in Shanghai, i bought one), so now she will use it. (i think i already deleted all that could be inside before giving it to her)
Well.
Brett, yes, you found on Facebook, and for those who are looking for me : Sylvain DELAMBILY.
I will read your stories and many other links here whenever possible, but with a little network connection, it is a bit difficult ^^'

[Voiceroveip]

Sylvain, you can find the tourist visa information easily on the French Embassy in China sites, google it. There is a ton of paperwork required but it's not impossible ...

[Sylvain D]

Frank, Thx for the info, I've googled many times and I think that, that url is useful :
http://www.consulfrance-canton.org/Visas-pour-la-France.html?lang=fr
So now I'll tell Liyan about it.

By the way, I am at work now.
A few words to give some little updates.
"jealous" or not...
I've noticed when I was in Beijing with Liyan that she was a bit jealous because I had some photos about a few contacts in my phone. So, I just deleted it because I saw she didn't like it.. (Well, it's my fault, I admit), but I told her that since I met her, I didn't write back to the other ladies, and that another one talked to me on QQ but was not from China love. Well, she again asked me to not talk to her... even if I didn't have webcam with that young lady (who has a boyfriend, btw)
Yesterday, we were talking on QQ (Liyan and me) and I noticed she was busy with "someone else" on QQ, too. So, I asked her, and she said she was speaking to another man, from Switzerland, blue eyes & so on...
Well...She also said that yes, she had webcam with him.
So...
I don't know if man can agree if I ask her why I can't talk to ladies on QQ, and why she can talk to men, or if that is not a good idea because it can be linked to a little quarrell.
She also saw there was something wrong and she saw I was a bit sad, I explained her a bit and she said that she wasn't talking to the man "now". But she told me before she talked to him for a very long time (I didn't ask if it was before or after she met me)...
If anyone has some ideas or comments, I'm ok for advices.
Anyway, as I said to Liyan, I believe in her & myself, but I don't want to be jealous for all & nothing, and that we "should" be "equal" in love.

[Sylvain D]

Little update, I am with my daughter, and I am in my ex's home (she lives in a flat), but she's not here actually, because she's working, and as her house is just so close to my daughter's school, I can both see my daughter and use a little bit my laptop to connect via wifi.

Liyan told me about papers, that she needs to find "a good time" to talk to her parents, because they always want her to be with a chinese man, but she shows them that she's persistent about me and that she really loves me.
Of course, they know about the ring we both have on our fingers, but to them, a ring is not a wedding.
And Liyan told me that we need a very good plan if we want them to "agree" for us to be together.
By the way, I told her I was thinking about that, but ... it seems that my plan is just "nothing sure at all".
I told that first, I needed to save some money for the wedding and for the flight to go there and come back (with her, so)
that I was looking too for training centers around my city, for Liyan to learn french language.
Once Liyan would had a good level, then she could apply for a job, but that maybe we could before have holidays to go together in China.
Then, later, having a baby.

But Liyan told me that her parents are "speeding" her up, because they want her to be marry very quick (she'll be 30 years old in October), and that she should have a baby quick, too, because they want to see the baby growing around their home...
She also said me that my plan is maybe not a good one, that we had to talk more about it and that she can't see for papers to get tourist visa, as her parents don't say "yes" for her to be with me...

Then, I know the parents problem is still active and that it is still harsh...
I don't know if some of you encountered the same problem, but well...
Liyan told me she knows she wants to be with me and that she faced many times her parents because of me...
but will she be able to face them about the wedding and so on.. ?
And how can I help her, except by always being beside her and saying her that I really love her and know what I want to live with her?
About photos, I will resize first, then I will upload some here, I promise.

[Sylvain D]

and here are some photos I did in Beijing, Tianjin, and Gz
Sorry that it comes so "lately" :blush:

[brett]

Yes the parents problem is a big one, do not ignore the parents as I found out!

You need to get the parents on your side. We'll have to scratch our collective heads and come up with something.

I am beginning to think that if I want a Chinese wife I will have to live in China.

If Liyan was an only child it would be 10x worse, so at least there's one good thing :s. Her 30th birthday is a big milestone - I think the family loses quite a bit of face if their daughter isn't married by that age :dodgy:.

[Sylvain D]

I can't ignore Liyan's parents, because I know it's a big problem I have to face, with Liyan. But we MUST find something to make it all good, and to show them how I am with Liyan, and how she is with me.
I must talk this afternoon with Liyan about a "plan", related to her parents and to us. Living in China could be easy, but I have a daughter, and I can't for the moment... but I don't want to leave Liyan, nor to stop with her, just because of our love and the "envy"? (needing?) to be together

[Arnold]

Sly , I hate you !!
Showing me those Photo's and makiong me feel bad for not being there .:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

There wonderful and so is Liyan , very pretty Lady . I know you again will do your best and keep us all on our Toe's like the last time .

[Sylvain D]

Arnold, I must learn more and more cantonese and mandarin to be able to see her parents, I think. Because her "mama" is "closed" to see me.
I told Liyan about sending flowers for her mother, she just replied that she would not believe it is from me. Well... Her mama doesn't really believe in many things, and Liyan told me about a story, and says her mama is a bit the same as the mama in the story.
There is a lady and her mother. Her mother really loves her and finds her a job, but the lady dislikes it. However, her mama says her to do that job... many quarrels happen between her and the mother, and the lady jumps... and dies.
Her mother doesn't understand and doesn't want to believe that her daughter is dead, because she really loves her. Unfortunately, she's really dead...
She also said me that each September, many students would be dead because they learnt bad, and didn't want to see expectations from their parents... who also became crazy.
Well...
i just don't know what to think about it, but I know that it is not very good. Liyan also told me that her mother is a bit like me, she would do anything for her daughter, but doesn't want to "believe" in gifts I could send.. Maybe because she would think it is from Liyan and not from me.
But I will buy something from Paris to send to Liyan, and then, maybe her mother can guess it is really from me...
Actually, Liyan is ill ... because of woman's problems... (not good at all because she is not fine at all and will go see a doctor tomorrow...)
sorry but there is no baby yet.... (and anyway we should wait to be officially together...)
^^'

Arnold, well. For sure I'll do my best.
Plus, I got a good news : one new colleague learnt chinese for more than 1 year and will help me, he gave me lessons on my usb stick, with weblink to learn more and more chinese it will be useful
About next trip, well...
Liyan told me she needs household certificate?? or something related to household and that only her papa could give to her... but only if he would approve our "union".
So.. I looked on many url's but I don't know if that is right... even if Liyan would have to come only one week in France to visit ?

[Arnold]

Sly , when a push comes to a shuff ... I even have Qing call Liyan and her Mother and back up how nice of a Guy ( Fellow ) you are after we have met you in Shanghai . Like I have said we will do whatever we can to help you get this done and not have this break apart again for you .

[Sylvain D]

Xiexie ni, Arnold. I'll even talk about that to Liyan if really "necessary" to make her mama understand about us. Thanks anyway for your help, I really like and appreciate, be sure about it. Don't forget to thank Qing too for me

[David5o]

Sylvain D,

As she is now almost 30 years old, she does not need or require any parental permissions, she is a Full Chinese Citizen in her own right!!!
Come to that, ...I've never heard of a ''Household Certificate'' !!!!

David....

[Sylvain D]

but Liyan was sure about it, that she needed her papa's agreement to obtain that paper... that is why I don't really understand.
She said that, that paper is related to all members of a same family, including the baby, the father and the mother.
I will look on the "history" of the talking we had today about all that. Because it seemed so important that Liyan said that she could not leave China without that paper and could not even marry me.
Thx for your comment about it, David. I must check it again to find the righteous word with "household"