My story so far...To be continued...

[dude]

Rob,

My wife and I just read the last letter Ke Ren sent you...we are in complete disbelief! You are a good man and you deserve a good woman! You are doing the right thing! You will find a great and true woman/lady!!! Our hearts go to you bro! We only wish you the best!

My wife just sent this to me on QQ: ??
Dear! In fact, two people are truly in love would not mind him (her) appearance of the.

Karen's family should not be concerned about your appearance, they should be happy of the love you give her!
I'm going to read the rest of your thread now...we just wanted to post this for you!
Jim & Zhong!

[brett]

Yeah I'm not sure what appearance has got to do with the value of a man, especially over here. They're looking for men who are caring, honest and reliable, not Brad Pitt. I'm only 5"6' and it hasn't stopped me doing enough stuff to fit into 3 lifetimes.

[Voiceroveip]

Rob,

I feel for you, I'm really sorry ...

[maxx]

Rob what can I say that hasn't ben said already.I thought that was mean and low down what the women did.You deserve allot better then this.Keep your head up.And make the trip.I think you will be surprised what you will find in China.

[Arnold]

This is for Rob .
I feel our Forum should stand up for one of our Member's , the way we never did . I feel a Love like Rob and KeRen share can be safed if Rob agree's to it . Knowing KeRen love's him , but has her hands tied by her Father . I suggest all of us here and I will be the first one through Chnlove send KeRen a letter to show how we are behind their Relationship and will not let it end on such a note . She can show all of them to her Father ... that we by no means are letting this get wasted do to a Height problem , that he does not like . Does he not care for her Daughter to be happy with the one SHE loves . All Rob needs to do is give as the ID number and I will write one tonight ... as I just bought 20 Credit's . I use them all if I have to . 11 month's are not going to waste without a fight and he will not shake us all off like he did a " Short Man " saying even Chinese Men are taller . Our letter's will open his Eyes and KeRens also , seeing what she was ready to throw away .
Well I'm ready to write my letter ... if I could have her Chnlove number please Rob and don't tell me NO . You also not giving up that easy ... are you ?

[dude]

This is for Rob .
I feel our Forum should stand up for one of our Member's , the way we never did . I feel a Love like Rob and KeRen share can be safed if Rob agree's to it . Knowing KeRen love's , him but has her hands tied by her Father . I suggest all of us here and I will be the first one throung Chnlove send KeRen a letter to show how we are behind their Relationship and will not let it end on such a note . She can show all of them to her Father ... that we by no means are letting this get wasted do to a Height problem , that he does not like . Does he not care for her Daughter to be happy with the one SHE loves . All Rob needs to do is give as the ID number and I will write one tonight ... as I just bought 20 Credit's . I use them all if I have to . 11 month's are not going to waste without a fight and he will not shake us all off like he did a " Short Man " saying even Chinese Men are taller . Our letter's will open his Eyes and KeRens also , seeing what she was ready to throw away .
Well I'm ready to write my letter ... if I could have her Chnlove number please Rob and don't tell me NO . You also not giving up that easy ... are you ?

I have a few sitting on there never to be used...so I will send if info is given! :icon_biggrin:

[Arnold]

Thanks bigbutt ... I'm certain this can help .

[David E]

Count me in...one for Rob !!

DavidE

[Neil]

yeah, really.  I have credits I'll never spend again too.

[Arnold]

Thanks to you David also , I feel we CAN make a difference with as many letter's of joining this last effort to save Rob's and KeRen's relationship . I just can not see all those lovely letter's that we had the pleasure of sharing with him , go down the drain .
We are 260 strong ... 5 - 10 is not going to do it . We need number's .Neil , same to you ... thanks .

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Rob, first to you my friend please accept both Zhens and my heartfelt sorrow on this sad day.  

Ok now that that is done lets talk.  I am as you know quite often of a different mind that others here on how I see things and how to approach things and guess what?  Here I go again.  Here is my read on this.

Ke Ren is abviously being pressured by Dad and maybe other family to end the relationship and so she has said what she said to end it quickly.  However what I see in her letter is a woman fighting between her love for her husband and her love for her family.  I would not give it up if I were you.  Assuming that you feel what you both shared was real then I would be inclined to go over as planned and try to get her to meet you and see what can be done face to face.

Never mind how long its been or how many letters.  What counts now is how you feel for her and how she feels for you.  If you love her and she loves you then dammit fight for her.  to me its that simple.  Go fight for the woman you love or.....

Family can be won over even in China.  It will take work but as has been said if both you and Ke Ren are working together then it can be done.  Dont try to buy their approval with gifts and such but rather buy their approval by the genuine display of love between you and Ke ren.  As has been said she has zero chance of marrying within her culture and countrymen and Dad has to know this.  The family has to know this.  So is he basically relegating her to a lonely single life because he has an issue with your height?  What kind of father would do that to his daughter?

Me I think he is just upset that the height thing is there and is scared that she will leave the country and leave the family.  I dont know how many brothers and sisters she has and what kind of relationship she had with Dad but that may also be part of this.  Also he must realize that his relationship with her will never be the same if he forces her to give up on you.

So my advice is go as planned get her to meet you and find out if your love is real from both of you.  If it is then agree together how to win this fight and then get it done.  Meet the father by himself if you have to and take a translator with you.  Dont worry about face (yours not his) but lay it on the line for him and get him to lay out all the issues or problems etc that he may have with you marrying his daughter.  Be cool and calm and articulate.  Make sure your translator is a good one and faithfully translates both ways.  Make sure Ke Ren sits beside you and you hold her hand or touch her shoulder or hand etc in little displays of love and affection.  Show him the depth and truth of your love for each other and you will win the day.  Any kind of loving father wants what is best for his daughter especially as neither of you are exactly kids in life.

If  he really thinks Ke Ren is going to go look for another man if she really and truly loves you then he is mistaken and so he needs to have that in his face also. Ask him flat out what he wants for his daughter and show him you are the man to give her exactly what she is looking for and more.

So in summary Rob, get over the hurt get on the plane get with Ke Ren and get this figured out between you both.  Then get with the dad and get him to explain all the issues and the get them resolved in your favour.  Go get it done.

Sincerely,

Zhen and Brian

[Sylvain D]

Whatever happens, Arnold's idea is very nice and I agree with it.
So, for sure, I'll help too.
Count me in !!!!

[Brian Mc]

Thanks to you David also , I feel we CAN make a difference with as many letter's of joining this last effort to save Rob's and KeRen's relationship . I just can not see all those lovely letter's that we had the pleasure of sharing with him , go down the drain .
We are 260 strong ... 5 - 10 is not going to do it . We need number's .
Neil , same to you ... thanks .

Arnold I am more than willing to do this for Rob also but read my post first.

Zhen and Brian

[Scottish_Rob]

First of all...

I want to say thank you to all your responses, if it wasn't for your continued support on a few things..not just this hiccup...I am sure I would have fell by the wayside.  With that support and Celtic drive that's inbuilt in me it has 'drove' me on, to be the best I can be, so thanks guys.

I read through the shout box (bloody hell 10 pages) lol and thought this is why this place is a great site to be proud of.  

I know what your trying to do for me arnold and I appreciate this (would I ever say no to you lol) very very much.  You remember on the old facebook this happened to me before with Ms Yan Gao.  I tried with her father then, writing letters to him and it did not work.  Although this relationship/correspondence call it what you will has been so much longer.

I am quite willing for you to organise this and do what you have to for me, so here is Ke Rens id number P656032, her name is Ke Ren (English name Kathy) Wang.  Her fathers name is Wang Wang.

Ke Ren told her family about me, she just did not tell them my height, except her mother.

So the only thing left I can say is thank you guys and the best of luck...

[David E]

Ok now that that is done lets talk.  I am as you know quite often of a different mind that others here on how I see things and how to approach things and guess what?  Here I go again.  Here is my read on this.

Zhen and Brian

I am not disagreeing with your opinion Brian, but I think the timing is more critical than your solution allows for. I think Rob has to make a move NOW to keep things warm and not let the time between now and his trip allow the situation to get cold.

Of course, when he is over there, he can and will do all the things you suggest...but for today, he needs to make some contact to leave the door open, so to speak.

I think we should all try to write to her or Father to achieve this objective....if we can keep it all alive, then he can do the face-to-face, which I am sure he can do very well without us !!!

I dont think there is any doubt as to feelings here...not from what i learn from Rob anyway...what has got in the way is something external to feelings...and which should be dealt with quickly ?/

Just my opinion

ps...my letter to her has already been sent...it would melt concrete and bring a tear to the hardest eye !!!!!

DavidE