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[MLM]

Jo-Ma, this is great news and thank you for the update, don't worry to much about being in trouble, most not all but most Chinese women are just as quick to cool off as they are to get angry, they just don't tell us thats all, just keep going the way you are, kowtawing and all and you should be fine in no time LOL.
good luck and best wishes

[maxx]

Josh I'm glad to hear it's working out for you.Thats a pretty remarkable women you have there hold on real tight.I know it's hard to remember the rules when your in the heat of the conversation.But it is a must in a cross culture relationship.

good luck
Maxx

[Irishman]

Great!, so happy to read your update Josh, your mother sounds like a smart lady too.

[Darius]

Just when we think all hope is lost and gone then along comes the real love to prove us wrong....
Happy for you Josh.

[Scottish_Rob]

Jo ma you the man:angel:

You little sweet talker you....lol

[Josh Markley]

Thats a pretty remarkable women you have there hold on real tight.

Maxx

I honestly think this is an understatment.  She is beyond remarkable, but I am partial to her.  She amazes me everyday.  Last night we only talked for a few moments, but it is quality not quantity.  She went with her family to eat.  But she said she was looking at photos and she missed me and loved me.  Haha What? Did you say haha.  Yeah Im never gonna let go of this one.

[Sylvain D]

Well, from what I've learned and heard, too, when a chinese woman says she loves you, it's really something important for her to share with you.
Even my chinese teacher told me that chinese women can't "show" so easily their hearts, even when we have spent one week in China with them.
But most of you already know that.
Josh', I really wish you all the best to show your lover how strong you can be, even for your mother who gave you advices and who is really "like a motivation machine"
You also know we're all here with you and waitin' for some more news about you, so, just go ahead

[Sylvain D]

Without knowing any "real" reason, I don't understand why any post should be deleted wihout the author could not be informed before about it?
Maybe, as for Shawn, did you have a problem while posting your reply? And I don't really imagine mods like Irish & Maxxx to delete some.
In fact I don't know at all...
I think anyway that a forum is created just to deal about many things, and if there's a problem, the best is to solve it in an appropriate place.
I wish you will review your post,  Mister C.S ( ) and that Josh will forgive me to spam his thread

[Josh Markley]

I dont mind Sly.

[Sylvain D]

Any recent news about you, Josh ?

[Josh Markley]

The recent news is not good news.  I believe my relationship is dead in the water.  I have followed through with my promise.  I took someones advice and sent flowers that went over well.  I have been sending money.  I even was looking to take two part time jobs.  this way I can send her more to help pay her parents back.  The amount I am sending does not seam to be enough.  She wants a big expensive wedding.  And she talked about buying a car today.  I know she is not a money grubber, but she does not understand that it cost to live where I am living.  well, after our discussion tonight fellas i might not be back in awhile.

[maxx]

Josh your going to have to go into a little detail what happend? what was said?

[Sylvain D]

Josh, if you think your relation is on a dead way, for sure, don't send anymore anything else to your lady... and please see about your health, that would be bad that you work too hard for something which is not working the way you'd like, don't you agree?
I don't really understand anyway how your lady can pretend buying a car and so on if she does not motivate you while you are far away from her and that you give her any proof how you want to believe in both of you...
Keep your head up on any hole and just know all Bro' are here to help, just knock and we'll be there

[Ed W]

Josh,
 I remember way back when I needed to be sure my wife understood my financial position. I laid out my finances, line by line, item by item. When it seemed like she didnt quite get it, I'd say it again. Sometimes it seemed, and sometimes still does, that she doesnt always accept what I say the first time and I needed to be patient and say it again. Somehow this seemed to bring more attention to it.

  I'd like to hope that she's just not fully aware of your financial circumstances so don't give up hope just yet but I would probably move a little more slowly on sending money and sticking yourself into additional part time jobs to satisfy the circumstances.

  I'm also sending money to repay the family for what they gave her to support our relationship and helped bring it all together. Through my wife, my motherinlaw has told my wife to follow my example of saving and budgeting since her mother knows as broke as I am I still try to save some as well. I think getting her to fully understand your situation will help things quite a bit.

[Arnold]

Jo-Ma , Ed makes a great point . To put all your Finances on the table , as soon as you can or need to . As most chinese Women still think we are made of Money . I put that out to my Wife , before I ever seen her Face to Face . She didn't mind and we moved on , otherwise it would have stopped right there .
As I see it from Xu-Le side , she might still feel this way about you or she does not know or care to be frugal especially in this Economy .
1st , who is saying your Money to the Parent's is not enough ? Them or Her ?
2nd, a chinese wedding not need to be expensive ( compared to here )
3rd, what does she need a Car for ?
From your side , I think you are now realizing that this relationship is going to cost alot more then you have bargained for . A second or third Job might help with the Money part , but it will not help your relationship any . Bring her here and you working say ... 16 hour day's , while she is at Home ? No .. that is not going to work .
If she can not except you as you are my Friend , as much as you and I hate to hear it , it's like you said ... dead in the Water .

Remember , you alway's have us here to get you through this .