WARNING

[victor-hills]

Well sead Maxx.

[maxx]

Rhonald my story is real close to yours.When I was leaving Zhuhai after my first trip.My wife asked me if she would ever hear from me again.I wonder if it is something programed into there brains.To think that we will all just leave.And never talk to them again.

Is this kind of thing happining more then I think it is.Are the men making the first trip and then just dissapearing.

[David E]

The Jessica thing would not be a deal breaker.In my own opinion she did what she thought was neccisarry to protect herself and her daughter.Faced with the same situation under the same circumstances.Some of us mite of done even more.To protect are selves and are families.

Maxx

That is a bit over the top and you have not represented this particular situation accurately.

We are talking 14 months of EMF's here, where the Lady and the Agency conspired to send many, many letters that were generated between the Lady and Agency by phone....many, many, many times. And you dont think they knew what they were doing (there are also Fairies in the bottom of my garden)

Nobody questions her right to do exactly as she chooses to protect herself and her family....but what was the point in allowing such a deception to persist for 14 MONTHS ??

What was the point in hiding the fact that she had permanently moved to Japan...and dont believe the bull-s**t about getting away from the Agency and more money...

And how can a single woman, with child, with poor Japanese language skills manage to get a job well-paid enough to survive in Japan...plus pay for schooling which is expensive in Japan ??

No, the more logical explanation is that this was all a game for them to continue the cash stream of EMF's...and "work out the problems when they occur"...if they occur.

To bend the truth to fit the current situation is human nature, we all create our own world to a greater or lesser extent...but down and out deception is not covered in this methodology.

So maybe they are all laughing their heads off at this guy who kept the EMF's going for 14 months...maybe not. But I know where my money is going !!

I am not there looking over Mike's shoulder, so I and all of us dont know the exact detail...its none of our business....but so much is wrong in this specific case...which ,by the way is more the normal than the, "meet and live happily everafter" outcome.

DavidE

[Rhonald]

Is this kind of thing happining more then I think it is.Are the men making the first trip and then just dissapearing.

I think that maybe the ladies are picking up on a vibe. I remember being happy about returning home and to noramility. I had come to China and met my girl. I also remembering I was content and if we carried on or not, I would be content. Maybe the women sense our thoughts and think we are happy leaving and thus they become afraid that we are abandoning them.

Maybe with some men, they never feel responsible for the hearts of others. Obviously these men are predators - not romantics.

After reading the book Factory Girls (my main source for my view point) and other articules and postings - I think the Chinese mind set is that the ends justify the means. I am not of this mind set (anti-Machiavelian) but I can understand the logic (game theory).

[Chong]

Chong the dishonesty in the emf's were just THAT... DISHONEST, she DID not write them!!!!

What do you want the members here to do...SAY NOTHING when we get the NEWS we got, we all want to 'back up' our fellow brother and show him some support, and some possible reasons for why she done it?  ..I for one 'jumped in BECAUSE me and MIke and spoken about this, because I am going to the same place he is, and he wanted to make me aware......Lets be TOTALLY HONEST HERE Chong, ..WHAT WERE  YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS WHEN YOU READ ABOUT MIKES PROBLEM???

Did you just sit there and think, everyone is wrong...

Like yourself, I write PMs to Mike. The post that changes everything is post # 237. Did you even read it ? Those are the 'possible reasons' why Jessica did what she did. After learning from reading Sylvain's trip thread, I'm withholding any public thoughts till the end of his trip ... well, except for now ... LOL.

Just like JimB ... same situation ... you just have to make lemonade out of lemons. He made it work. Mike can do the same.

Did I say that everyone was "wrong"  Show me that quote.

[maxx]

David E I don't know why.She would let the deception go for 14 months.We would have to ask her.If you want me to guess.I would say that like you she has ben burned one to many times.And doesn't beleave Antbody any more.But that is just a guess.Only Jessica knows the real answer.

The schooling the living in Japan.That is probably paid for by her family.Brothers sisters uncles cousins.That is how my wife and her brother.Went to college.That is how my Friends daughters went to art school.For 4 years.And the oldest daughter had a job right out of art school.She got the job threw a family member.

Yes it is more logical as you say to keep the cash flow going as you say.If this is a scam.If this is a scam wouldn't the scam be up? Wouldn 't it make more sence to keep Mike out of China.Keep the cash flow going.And when and if Mike did show up.Wouldn't it have ben easier for Jessica to leave Mike standing at the airport.Or kept the scam going for another weak to see if he would be bying more gifts.And leaving maybe some money.

In my opinion way to complicated.Just leave him standing at the airport.We don't make an impression on Chnlove.They arn't worried about what we write hear.After all we have only 243 members.Out of a possibilty of thousands of men they could scam.

You could be right they could be reading this right now and be worried about you.And laughing there ass off about me defending the lady.I don't think it is a deal breaker.I think the women is legit.As I have stated before.

If I'm wrong I'm wrong and I will apoligise to Mike and the rest of the members.I don't think I'm wrong.It's just to complicated to be a scam.If this thing does go south on Mike it is going to be a completly different reason then this.

[David5o]

Chong,

I just had to laugh at your first statement here. ....So 14 months of writing to an agency translator is fine by you is it ??  14 months of making no effort what so ever to contact Mike by any other means to let him know the situation is fine by you?? 14 months of joint deception is fine by you is it?? Flying out to China under false pretences is also fine by you is it ?? Are you really serious here Chong?? If this had been you, or almost any other brother would it have still been fine by you??  Yeah!! ....Right, ...God , what the hell are we all doing here??


Sure i read his post #237, Are you saying that makes everything alright ?? So we can say to the Ladies now... No problem ladies,  ...lie away, I'm just protecting myself from you and the agency, i don't have any responsibilities towards you or your time and efforts. I didn't bother to read the majority of your letters, you could have been like the other 3 guys I've known!! ...Yeah Chong, that's a great message to give out to the brothers here!!

The reality, is in front of you and me.  The basic reality is that she has been part of a deception, for whatever reason you want to label it, ...that is a FACT!! Please don't come out with this protection thing again, it doesn't hold much water, for all the reasons I've previously posted.  Let's get one thing absolutly clear here, ...No matter what, ....there is no justification for deception or dishonesty, If you and others are going to start going down the road of picking out different bits and bobs to try and justify not adhereing to that basic rule you've lost the plot!! Remember.... Basic Honesty = ''Trust!!''


Having said all that above, i totally respect Mike's decision in what he, as an individual has decided he wants to do in his situation. Yes he has more of the facts than any of us here, and he's using those and his interactions with her as a basis to allow himself to move forward.

Don't cloud the issue here, with what Mike is so far trying and managing to do, with the fundamentals here Chong. For one thing Mike is seeing this from a totally different view point than either of us or the majority of the brothers here.... And if he pulls it off i for one, will be genuinely pleased for both him and Jessica...

David....

[David E]

Just like JimB ... same situation ... you just have to make lemonade out of lemons. He made it work. Mike can do the same.

Jim B was in a totally different place...from my reading of his posts, he was one of the lucky ones who met, corresponded with, fell in love with...and married his lady without any of the dramas we are seeing in Mike's case. It was an example to us all about what can go RIGHT.

He didnt have to "make it work"...it worked because it was founded in and based on...HONESTY !...from BOTH of them.

Learn and weep !!!

DavidE

[Willy The Londoner]

Take willy for example.He lives in Zhuhai.Is getting along great with his lady.Why?.Because he is right there right now.He isn't trying to build a relationship across the enternet.It is a totaly different playing field.When you are using the enternet.

I am not a good example at the moment.  4 unwarranted words spoken by me as a question last week has disrupted my world here at present.  I will know by next weekend if we have a future. I should have stuck to the 24 hour rule.

Willy

[Chong]

David,

First you gripe ... on and on and on ... about 14 months of EMFs. Yeah yeah ... we hear you also gripe ... on and on and on ... about honesty and dishonesty ... it's a broken record. Give it a rest !!! Nobody but Mike knows what's written in his EMFs. You even admit this. And then you wish him all the best and hope everything works out for him because he has good morals as a person and for hanging on for 14 months. If anybody, I'm the one who's laughing at your recent postings.

Jessica had her reasons as stated in post # 237 ... not # 247. Why don't you give her some benefits of the doubt. Mike's a good guy, I wish nothing but the best for him for hanging on for so long.

Just like JimB ... same situation ... you just have to make lemonade out of lemons. He made it work. Mike can do the same.

Jim B was in a totally different place...from my reading of his posts, he was one of the lucky ones who met, corresponded with, fell in love with...and married his lady without any of the dramas we are seeing in Mike's case. It was an example to us all about what can go RIGHT.

He didnt have to "make it work"...it worked because it was founded in and based on...HONESTY !...from BOTH of them.

Learn and weep !!!

DavidE

No DavidE, JimB's situation is a carbon copy of Mike's. His EMFs were all dishonest based on agency & translator's disceptions & fake letters. But Jim met Gina/Angel and fell in love and married.

For Mike, the story isn't over yet, and we don't know all the actual facts for sure. If what Jessica told Mike in their long conversation is true, the agency actually wasn't a part of any conspiracy, did anyone notice that??? And Jessica did mislead Mike, for the purpose of protecting herself. So we have a very complicated situation here.

Scott ... my complete agreement. That's what I noticed also. I think everybody needs to read # 237 again.

[David E]

I am not a good example at the moment.  4 unwarranted words spoken by me as a question last week has disrupted my world here at present.  I will know by next weekend if we have a future. I should have stuck to the 24 hour rule.

Willy
[/quote]

Willy

4 words to crash a relationship...you gotta tell us what that is all about.........I am sure they must be 4 words that we all dare never use from here on in ??

Hope it can all be resolved happily...4 words shouldnt kill it if it is sound and strong...lets hope

DavidE

[Chong]

David ... what do I stand for here

Since December 2008, myself and the other MODS have refined this Forum as a support site. If you bother to read any of my postings here and on FaceBook, I'm the first one to stand against dishonesty and deception from ChnLove and the agencies. I started a thread to list ladies that correspond with men so there are no duplication relationships. I'm the one who started a thread listing dishonest agencies so members can avoid using them or use them with extreme caution.

If there's anybody who's negative about ChnLove and it's process ... it's me. We're here to protect guys. BUT I also know that there are successful stories out there. We're a support Forum here. We all hope to hear more of them. So before you make any assumptions about me, get your facts right beforehand, David5o !

After reading post # 237, if you're not going to give her any benefits of the doubt because it's not your 'right' ... then you don't have any 'right' to call her a dishonest lady.

[Willy The Londoner]

I am not a good example at the moment.  4 unwarranted words spoken by me as a question last week has disrupted my world here at present.  I will know by next weekend if we have a future. I should have stuck to the 24 hour rule.

Willy

Willy

4 words to crash a relationship...you gotta tell us what that is all about.........I am sure they must be 4 words that we all dare never use from here on in ??

Hope it can all be resolved happily...4 words shouldnt kill it if it is sound and strong...lets hope

DavidE
[/quote]

All I will say is that i uttered 4 unwarranted words, and those four words not only questioned her love for me but also her as a person.  I have shared the full story with just one person on this forum and intend to keep it as such until I have a resolution one way or another.
Willy

[Norb Smith]

Fony know just what is going on between some of the bros, but I read Mike's poat #237 and I can see no deception in it except maybe thru the agency, and I can understand from what he says about her trying of avoid the harsh payments that the agency may want to charge and the fact that she did leave and live in Japan and I understand the fact that if the agency knew it it could be very hard on her, and her family, Hell I plan on going and am hoping for the best and still it could all blow up in my face too, but the one thing I am watching here is a little story that my pappy taught me years ago about pointing fingers and that is if you point a finger at someone always remember that there are three pointing back at who ever is doing the pointing. Mike I guess maybe I have to stand up and be counted and be in your corner, your doing great and I dont give a f*****k what anybody else says, and I know that you and Jessica with make it work as you both want the same things and I hope I am the first one that hears that Sharon want to call you Pappy, Daddy, Poppa, Pop and Jessica will want to be like JimB's wife be called Mrs. Mike

thats my 2 cents so if you want to have at me get after it

[Chong]

Mike and Jessica are starting over again and building a relationship from scratch. Despite the EMFs, they met. ... At this point, that's all that matters.