A little scary

[Vince G]

Oh yeah I love that reverse argument they start. Clear sign they are up to no good.

[victor-hills]

Well vince i must be leaveing a sheltered life becase i have neaver come across them sort of women but there agen i do come from a small ish town mybe its diffrent,as for you saying no one sead all western are the same i must of been reading it wrong becase what i have read some are saying that and its got nuffin to do with being politically right no one person is the same.Maybe we should agree to disagree prob be for the best i dont want to full out with anyone on this subjet.

[Danny]

Maybe we should agree to disagree prob be for the best i dont want to full out with anyone on this subjet.

Let's turn it around for you then. I wonder why you are considering meeting a Chinese woman from China, rather than a woman from your own smallish town? or from the larger towns or cities that are near your own smallish town? There are lots of available women in your own country. Why do you wish to meet women that are so incredibly far away from you? I'm wondering whether you're able to explain this choice without recourse to possibly unfair generalisations?

[China Shark]

Danny because he cannot, sorry Victor but he is right. If you had a better course of action there is no way he'de be undertaking such and ardous process. This has got to be the complex way to meet your future spouse bar none. What person in thier right mind would choose a path fraught with obstacles and uncertainty, a person dedicated to finding the most suitable reguardless of how difficult the journey may be. We are misfits from western society who just will not accept the low standards most western cultures have on choosing a mate. It isn't like buying a car, this thing is until death do us part. Almost all of us on here it is our last chance a real happiness with a woman that loves us for who we are and nothing else. We are all just stating the obvious things that we've all encountered. When I get on my soapbox slamming western women I am also including my mother, aunts, sisters and other women in my life in America. Why do you think I chose to leave America, tired of that type of attitude. Our western cultures have evolved into a bunch of selfcentered what's in it for me, {men and women}. Sorry, but I'll never cowtow to those kind of attitudes. Over the last 9 months I've come to realize some of the more important things in life. Money, big house and nice car aren't even on the list either.
China Shark Mike

[victor-hills]

Guys your have to forgive me im not so well versed in writing as you guys are but ill try Mike i take my hat off to you mate for what you have done i would neaver take away the things you done its just the soapbox thing about western women mybe your just useing it as a refrance im not sure geez im just digging my hole deeper here,i know what i mean but just cant exspess my self how i want to on paper ill just shut up :s.
Dany i want what we all want a woman to be a woman like they used to be and i dont mean they do as they are told i just want a woman to be a woman agen if you understand what im trying to say.

[David5o]

Victor,

I know what you mean, even if no-one else does!! I think a lot on here use the western women as some sort of scape goat, to reassure themselves their doing the right thing by finding a Chinese wife.

It's far easier to generalise about western women, than to admit that they chose those western women that let them down. ....I wonder if they will generalise the Chinese women, after maybe their chosen woman lets them down also?? ...Guess we'll just have to wait and see on that one!! ...hahaha!!

David.....

[Danny]

Dany i want what we all want a woman to be a woman like they used to be and i dont mean they do as they are told i just want a woman to be a woman agen if you understand what im trying to say.

That's a good answer Victor and apologies if I sounded like I was having a go at you. You do sound like a good and honest man, and I really do hope you find a good woman to love, and who will in turn love you too.

I think if my relationship with my Chinese woman was to fail, which it might, I am not sure that I would just keep going with this. The longer I go in my journey, the more I realise how hard this is. I don't think even being single is such a terrible fate. You can be happy in lots of different kinds of ways.

Danny

[victor-hills]

No need to apologies Danny we was only talking its cool.

[China Shark]

David been down that road twice already, first Chinese wife and the ex I came here to China to be with. I might be a loudmouth yet am really speaking from personal experience dating back as far as 15 yrs ago. Yes, there are quite a few dissappointments in some Chinese women, dating several after I left Mei. Some wanted marraige right away, some wanted a cool western platonic boyfriend, some were looking for me to be thier sugar daddy.  Tell you a story, tried dating a western women about 6 or 7 years ago, was with her for a year and a half. Always trying to change me and not necessarily for my own good {for her expectations}, I would be fine with the status quo yet she always felt we needed to talk more, it was nice the first 4 months or so then it became like a job. You never come to stay at my place as much {6 cats???}, she was older so I became the trophy younger guy, so many dissapointments I stopped dating for that 6 years or so. All women come with baggage yet Chinese come with a lot less, they still know how to act feminine in this day and age, don't have to worry about her looking to upgrade. I know what I want in life and it ain't second best. All of you guys are on here for the same reason so don't start that sanctimonius drivel, not buying it. If it makes you feel better yes there are some good western women out there and they all happened to be happily married. Victor, don't sweat it brother if I thought you couldn't take I would have never dished it out. Some of us like to think there is good in all people, it's just not true, most people in western cultures think about numero uno all the time, if you deny this you're a hypocrite. Our culture raises us as young children to always do for yourself first then if you have anything left share it with the love of your life or family and friends. Unfortunately some never seems enough to satisfy our overinduldgent needs. Am I spouting nonsense or is some of it ringing true. I've lived in America for 44 yrs and a year and a half living and working in Japan as well as China. I've spent my whole life searching for the meaning of it all. Then one day an epiphany hit me like an iron sledge, to love and be loved till the day you die. I just want a simple life with a woman I care deeply about. If that is outdated I'm sorry. I've traveled around the world three times, climbed Mt. Fuji from the base to the summit, taught and lived in China as well as Japan. I've experienced more things in my life than most could accomplish in two lifetimes. I just found out recently my lady never wants to move out of China, so I'll live my days out here. Everything I say in my posts is coming from the heart and how I feel. It's all good though because we are all brothers at heart. Don't anybody get the idea that I'm this aultuistic guy either, I'm doing this for myself as anyone else. I stopped talking to family and friends at home because they very rarely seem to want to write back or communicate because they don't know what to make of my situation. Right here is the closest thing I have to next to my lady. Love me or hate me I'm here to stay.
China Shark Mike

[victor-hills]

Im with you on them subjets mike 1.They still know how to act feminine in this day and age, don't have to worry about her looking to upgrade 2.just want a simple life with a woman I care deeply about. If that is outdated I'm sorry.

[Vince G]

Victor, I do not live even near a small town. I grew up in an suburb of New York City. Usually NYC leads in trends, fashion, finances and others. So when the "I WANT" started I'm sure it started there too. I can only give my own experiences encountered or others around me that have in this matter.
My sister lives in a large house, in a very rich neighborhood. Drives German cars, and a business. But she did it herself even though she's married to a Brit. My daughters so far, if they want something they get it themselves. But I had a hand in that. My Ex-wife on the other hand takes from whoever she can. She's remarried so it's his problem now.

I can go on with a few I dated before moving but I'll just give you one. Only saw this woman on the weekend (Saturday) she told me her other boyfriends were millionaires and paid her rent, so I should too? Keep in mind I'm not cheap, we went out to dinner and I did buy her things. I just wasn't going to pay her rent. Turned out someone I knew also dated her, he didn't pay her rent either.

I moved to South Florida. It is not a small town either. It is a city of a million or so. I moved here for many reasons but hoping to meet a different type woman. I was wrong. They are even worse here. Here they do things like move into your home. After a while they call the police and say you beat her or something like that. Your removed from the home and she takes it. Not only that but she moves a boyfriend in. This happens not only here but within a 1000 mile radius.

So where do you go to get away from all this nonsense? I chose China. There are some in China that are up to the western ways. The I want or the How to get. But it is much less there. They are more modest.

So though it may seem the meaning is ALL western women? I cannot say ALL. I haven't met all. Lets say the majority.

[David5o]

China Shark Mike,

First off, I've never been one to dish out ''sanctimonious drivel'' that just ain't me at all. I tell it, how i see it and the devil, or me be dammed!! Also been called a lot of things over the years, but never been called a
hypocrite either!!  ...haha!!

What i, and some others on here can't understand, ...why is there a need about you guy's to rubbish the western women at every turn?? You've made it quite clear, that your futures lay to the East now. So why do you feel the need to keep looking back, instead of going where your wanting to be??
I'm not here to try and change your mind about western women, you have your opinions and i will keep mine. but have you ever thought, that it might have been the type of women you are/were attracted to in the west, that is/was the problem?? There's just too many variables to be able to condemn ALL the western woman, just as many in fact as there is to be able to Praise ALL the Chinese women....

It may be worth mentioning here, that you will find plenty of men that have found there perfect women in western countries, my late wife was perfect for me. The fact that i have found a perfect (future) wife again, albeit from China is neither here nor there. I don't even know WHY,  people here even need to bring this topic up!! ....i can see NO need and NO point to it, ...really!!   Not unless you need an excuse for yourself  for looking to China to find your next wife....

Mike I applaud your travels and seeing a bit more of this world than most. It definitely broadens our horizons, and our overall attitude to life, ....it certainly did mine.

David.....Vince,

You haven't met the majority either, Now be honest!! ..... not unless your a real ''Jack the Lad''  Hahahaha!!

David....

[victor-hills]

Vince i did not know it was that bad there my self have neaver come accross that well not in that way anyways,but i do understand were you are comeing from,all i was saying is that paint brush was to wide sweeping of western woman but majority sits better.But anyways guys peace

[Vince G]

Victor, I could go on with many more stories. But I also want to add that the men aren't any better. They allow it. I'll give another instance. Dating this young woman years ago. She had said to me "When we get engaged, I want a minimum of a 2 karat diamond" ring in a certain shape and even a certain gold value. I told her she gets what I give. And she got it too, but not from me.

David, Majority? maybe? maybe not. But I do read allot, and watch or observe and have become pretty good at picking them out.

[David5o]

Vince,

I'm a people watcher too, when I'm having a coffee or a beer down at the beach cafe's. Mainly the big boobs walking past..  ...hahaha!!
I tend to watch the body language between couples. Doesn't matter what nationality, they are, ..body language is always the same. You'll be surprised at what you can read by watching them, just for a couple of minutes or so.

Learnt the basic skills at Uni', and have practised it ever since. It's just the job for a ''Jack the Lad'' like yourself, you always know if / when your on a winner, even before they do ....hahaha!!

I wouldn't believe 10% of what's printed in UK newspapers/magazines, 90% assumptions, could be's, maybes, and could possibly be's, and the like.....

David.....