Hi there
so, today was a big one day for me, for many things.
I have learned that nothing is won, but nothing is lost, too.
I saw Ting this morning, we spent about 3 hours together...
You may think that 3 hours are quite nothing. For her, it is 3 hours away from her work, she has to leave it to come, and to go back there, and to finish later, so.
Why?
Because she likes me.
She does not love me, but she is upset because of many things. The barrier because of french language too hard for her, she asked many questions around it, and I just said there were centers with "teachers" where she could learn to speak it. She asked if she would go back to school, I then replied "for sure, no, just to go with some other persons to see someone who will train you to speak french, and I even can.."
She smiled.
She knows that I have many feelings for her, and it seems she isn'nt "distant" about it. Because she likes me, (some pictures just show it, just as under this message), and she laughed because of any things I said to her. I spoke about my situation, family, she cares that my parents could not like a foreigner, I said "my mother is spanish, my daughter is a mix between Martinic and France, so why would they dislike foreigners? She smiled..)
But because of the situation of her parents who may would marry her, she is between "2 fires"... One man she seems to dislike, and me... but she can't go against her parents, and she didn't talk to them about me.
We spoke about many things, and she said that she would take some time, once I'll be back in France, to reconsider the asking for wedding. Because she has feelings for me, but she has to "make her mind and heart clear about all of that"
Things are not so easy, but for those 3 hours, I have seen a very happy lady, who smiled to me many times and her expressive eyes just show it clearly.
Maybe am I hurting myself with it, maybe not... I do not even know. I am not sad, I am just smiling because of this day.
Ting's sister just "brought" us up to tomorrow morning a computer, which is chinese, and translate chinese to english and vice-versa.
It is quite useful and Ting and I just used it to say many sentences.
We spent 3 hours in my room, talking about our "situation", she said that via letters, she really liked to write and to know me, but the "face to face" was quite different, because there are many "options" who come "aboard" the letters.
Anyway, she likes my face, and the way I am.
(OMG, a song is on the radio here, actually... "I just called to say I love you"... and I don't have Ting's number... what a fuck.....
)
Ting really seems to be honest, she said she was sorry for yesterday because of her work and that she was happy to be with me today. She said too that tomorrow, we will go shopping together. But she was sorry because on Saturday , she has many things to do and she can't accompany me to the airport..
Well, after all, we are not together, and I won't force her to do something against her mind. I just think I am a righteous person, thinking like that. I just said it was a bit sad, but I could understand, I was happy anyway that she used her free time to be with me, because I really like it.
She asked about income, too, and about houses. I said I lived in a flat, a small one, but my parents have 2 houses, and I have another one, too, near their second one, in South of France. I show her some pictures, she liked it.
(It doesn't mean she will love me.... ^^ )
About income, she seemed to be "pleased" about my situation, I said that as I was alone, I could afford myself to buy many brandnames clothes and so on, and to fly to China to see her, because I have "saved" any money for that trip.
She cares about leaving China, she cares about many things in fact.
I said I could understand her position, and I would probably would be like her. But I said that man has to see what his heart tells him what to do, and then, seing with "reason" if there is really a big problem to face or just "many steps" to reach... I said I believed in her, but I didn't have card in my hands to say "it's all done"
She understood and then, just want to take some time to reconsider her position about me.
We were really together for 2 hours/3, because the first one, her sister was with us to speak a bit. She (her sister) left us, saying she had many things to do and that she would come later.
Her sister.
She's really funny in fact.
Since I know her, everytime she sees me, she's smiling and happy to speak with me. She'd like me to marry her sister, she says many time her sister (Ting) how nice I am and gentle, too. Even if I'm a foreigner, I could understand "chinese traditions" and many other things.
She said that she knows that Ting has feelings for me.
When Ting had to leave me, her sister was arriving, and we then left my room.
We went out and Ting said me "bybye", and I then went with her sister... to go eating somewhere.
It was then 02:30 pm.
Well.....
I do not really know how to say it nor what to think about it.
It is the first time I have spent 3 hours with her sister.
We went into a "little restaurant", in fact, it was like many "shops", and we went in, we discussed a lot about Ting, about me, about our situation. Her sister really likes me, I asked why, she said "because you really amazed me when I first met you, you are a very smart person, with a happy face, humor, and gentle, very gentle with my sister". I then smiled and thanked her.
She said that in fact, Ting would probably marry the chinese man in October... because it seems the man sent money to Ting's parents to say he wanted to marry her...
I did not know what she said to me, because a bit sooner, I told Ting at the hotel that I would probably come back in October to see her, and then, she may could introduce me to her parents, if she gave me a "favourable"? reply via a personal letter.
So, right now, for sure, I feel "embarrassed" but Ting's sister said me that Ting would probably talk to her parents about me and that I could send money for the wedding to her parents (same as the other guy, in fact, about 4000 rmb), in October, in case she would really like to be with me.
With it, for sure, I don't really know on which feet to dance, but I was not sad... just remembered Ting smiling when we were together.
I then can better understand her position about me, because she does not know what to do, but she will have to take a decision, whatever it may be a good one or not... (and in fact, how bad could it be, because she would marry anyway with someone...)
Ting's sister knows that I can't lie to Ting, and Ting does know it too, because I said I had my eyes that just reflect my feelings. whatever I am sad or happy, they wil show it for me.
I did not want to be angry with her, because it is not like that that I may could "solve" any problems between us.
And today, I have learned more from her. She's a very beautiful lady, but as she has "2 lovers", there is a choice for her to do, and it wasn't said it would be me... nor the chinese man, at first.
Ting's sister told me about her own situation with a U.S man, saying he had a good situation and so on, she totally loved him, he calls her everyday and she should marry him in September. She has a son, so is he, and it seems the guy is well liked by her family.
So, she thinks there should be no problems with me. And she would speak to Ting's parents about me, and saying to Ting that she has to really "consider" my situation about her.
What else to say...
I don't think they wanted me to not go to the agency, or they are very very "clever"...
Or maybe am I too much "dumb" but I don't think so.
When we finished to eat (it was a soup with nodlles and many other things, we ate rice, too, and spicy sauce with many "cow's parts"
It was pretty nice to eat:)
So, when we were out, it was near 05:00 pm.
I accompanied Ting's sister to her car, she said me she would come alone tomorrow morning, before Ting, just to talk a bit some more with me, and that Ting would aslo come a bit later.
I remembered Ting said me she could be here for middle o clock, to see me.
The more I am speaking about her, the more I know I'd like something to happen... well.. I have to face it.
I then went back to the hotel and I saw the french lady who's working there^^
I then smiled and abused about her services (not private ones :icon_cheesygrin:) and asked her about any nice places to visit over here.
She was very pleased to help me, she showed me 3 good places to visit, and then, I decided to go there, this afternoon and night.
So, I have discovered that Chongqing is a very very big city, which lives day and night non stop, and many chinese people are really "gentle" with foreigners, helpful, if I can say like that. I wanted to see a monument, I could not speak chinese, and a chinese policeman (who I was talking in english in fact) helped me just by showing his hand and showing a way to go. I then saw the way to go and followed it.
I felt under the cham of the city by night. Quite beautiful, the weather is a bit more fresh than the day, where it is warm and warm and warm...
I was very happy to visit this town tonight, and to change any ideas in my mind, saying that my trip is not only 100% "love addicted".
Tomorrow, I will visit again any other nice places, just to say that I really did some nice things over here.
Oh, by the way, the french lady ^^ => I have asked her her private number and email, and I got it. I said her I would probably come back in October, she then asked me if I wasn't looking for a job in Chongqing. I then replied, because I have a daughter who is only 3 years old (in fact, she will be 3 years old in October), I could not leave her in France. She understood my situation, and told me nice places to go to see if I could buy any clothes for my daughter
This lady is really usefull for me, so, I don't have to lose anything concerning her
She can say me when they have cheaps prices at the Hilton Hotel, and so on
So, you can just see that today, I did not go the agency to say anything about Ting or anyone else.
I would not like to see any other women, too, because...
I think to myself, that, a "hunter" who runs after 2 rabbits, just comes back home with none of them.
Here, it is a bit like that. I prefer spending time with Ting, even if I have all to waste about time (but I doubt I could even waste my time with her)
Maybe could we become good friends, maybe not, maybe more..
Actually, I don't want to run about any "preferences", just thanking her to be with me everytime she can afford herself time to see me.
Oh, and about my coming back from a mountain to the hotel... LMAO.
I was looking for a taxi, and a man talked to me, I showed him I wanted to go to the hotel. He said ok, and I went into his car (not a taxi one...)
2 mins were passed that he spoke to me in chinese and I could not understand any word. I just replied "wo bu dong". He then replied to myself "ni bu dong ma?" (I think it was something like that) ; and I said "yes"... lol... ; I said "fa guo", with a very bad accent, he did not understand... I showed him a picture of the Eiffel Tower, he then uderstood... he then said me price about the service, I said I did not understand, He showed my mobile, I gave him, he showed me the amount I would give : 400... LMAO...
I then said "bu yia" "no bu dong" ; taxi : 60, he then said he wasn't a taxi and became angry.. I said as using my mobile with the software to speak a bit chinese "please wait a moment", I then said I was not rich enough to have all that money, and that I only paid 60 and nothing else... He had stopped his car while we spoke about it... He tried to "merchand"? with me, saying : 300, I said "bu", he showed "200", I said "bu", he became angry, I said "100" if he wanted, or I should go out the car, he then said me "ok ok"... he drove again, lighting a smoke, switching the radio again, and turning the volume a bit louder. He finally look at me, asking "you like???" (his english was very very very very limited, he did just seemed to know 2 or 3 sentences), and I said in chinese "good", (hao), he then said "xiexie", and I replied "bu xie", he then smiled because I told him "wo ming bei le"... I said too that it was my first travel there, that I was there for leisure.
he finally let me just in front of the hotel and I gave him 100 but he gave me back 40 with a smile.
The "course" with a taxi was like more than 20 just a bit a half the way to go to the mountain, because I went to 3 different places, so I estimated about 60 to go to the mountain, knowing that I spent about 20 mins with a taxi.
Even if my "price" was a bit "higher" than it normally should be, I was happy anyway that the man did the run for me up to the hotel. and that he was "cool" enough to give me money back, too.
Me and Ting in my room, today (her sister took the photo)
Me and Ting alone (Ting took the photo, I helped her abit ^^)
Dinner with Ting's sister :
There were mushrooms inside, tomatoes, noddles, and "parts" of cows.
I will update this topic tomorrow with pictures about the places where I went. Just because here, on this message, there are also 3 pictures.
To end this message until the next one, I wanna thank you all for your brotherhood and all your comments that help me to "better" face my destiny. Whatever it shall be with or without Ting, anyway, as said at this message's beginning, nothing is won, nothing is lot.
