Operation Chongqing

[MLM]

Sylvain, maybe the reason Ting didn't come may not be the reason you think, don't lose hope, wait until you are home and call or write her, see what is going on first, then make up your mind.
good luck and best wishes.

[Vince G]

You are not leaving there a loser but a winner. No matter what.

[Arnold]

Boy ... this is certainly a Week in his Life , that he will never forget .

I think this is way from over , but if it is ... he'll will find / know it soon after getting back writing to Ting . She does have to make up her Mind soon and not let both the " RABBIT's " run around in circle's . I think he will be alright ... either way , even though it hurt's .

[Neil]

No matter what happens Sylvain, you can be sure you have friends here and we hope the best for you buddy.  I admire your courage and strength during what seemed like a rough time. Have a safe trip back.

[Sylvain D]

Hi there
I'm actually back in France, but OMG....
Yesterday seemed to be my best nightmare's day of the week, and afternoon, so.

I will try to respect all what happened to me and to share it with you.
So, yesterday morning, I saw Ting's sister and we went shopping together. In fact, I was looking for a small bag, just to help me to stock some clothes and so on from China. Finally, I bought a bag like I was looking for, and the price was 284 yan, if my memory is good. Anyway, this is a good bag
Ting's sister said me again, that Ting will write me anyway about her and us, and that I should not worry and anything else.
As I said to her, I only ask to believe in her, but if Ting doesn't write me or say me correctly she wants to live with me or anything else, it will be ku nan to help her.
Ting has to "end" her relation with her boyfriend (that still seems to me impossible for an unknown reason) because she really likes me and that she would be very happy to live with me.
But I think that on those next days, I'll may have any more news about it.
Yesterday, in fact, I was true. Ting was maybe at work but she was at a moment with the chinese man, so I don't know what to think... well, that fucky question's still in my head.
She said too, that, anyway, if there would be no way with Ting,she would be happy to introduce me to some friends of her, but one of them whose I who Introduced too, was not at ease and didn't speak english.
I said Ting's sister I didn't want the lady to waste her time withme, so they left me at 01:50 pm.

After that, I ate at the Hilton's restaurant and talked a bit with some employees. It ws quite nece and interesting, because I could speak english and chinese.
I decided later to go and visit the agency....

what a fuck....

I tried many times to go there and to find it. I asked a lady in the street who helped me for about 15 mins by phone, calling some friends of her to help to find that fucky adress.
'seems like nobody knew exctly this adress.
A bit later, a young lady wanted to helop, and finally, after 20 mins, she decided to call the policemen to take me to the place...
It was like a "circus show" because many persons were around me, looking who I was and where I could came from.
When they arrived, I thought to me "oh God, when they will see I'm here to go the agency for meeting ladies, how will they react..."

In fact, they found the place..
and a man who was there said us that it was closed so I could not do anything.
What I don't understand is that Sherry gave me in fact Ting's phone and not the agency's one.
I decided to go back to the hotel when it suddenly rained.
A motorcycle came to rescue, and took me back to the hotel.
When I arrived at the hotel, I was wet on all one side of my jean, and same for tee shirt.
I had to change myself, it was just 05:30 pm, and I had to leave at 05:30 pm.
Just the time to change, to thank many persons who I have talked to for those days, and I finally had a taxi that took me to the airport.

** End of this topic, it will be updated asap because it's only  a part **

[Agarn]

Welcome home Sylvain

Like many others here [look at the view numbers] i have been fascinated by your experience in china, each morning before work i would open computer and go straight to Operation Chongqing for my daily update, we have experienced the highs and lows of your trip like no other before to the point when i sometimes felt quite sad.
I must say how impressed i am with how you have handled your self in  difficult circumstances with a great deal of dignity.
My personal opinion is that Ting and her family are the losers in this situation if they choose the chinese man for a husband over you, if they were able to read your blog each day they may have different thoughts.
One thing is for certain there is a very lucky girl somewhere in china who does not know it yet, when this is all over and you wish to start again you will meet a girl who is worthy of your love, i look forward to this story.

A la prochaine

Agarn

[Sylvain D]

Thanks about your comment, Agarn
By the way, Ting's sister (her name's seems to be Zhou) just wrote me that she was happy to have news from me and that she will write me more news about Ting and I later, so I will wait for it.

Now, is another part of my story, I just think one of the best ones...

Leaving the hotel for the airport in time was nice, but as I was changing myself before, I have asked to any grooms of the hotel, if for any weather conditions, flights could be delayed or cancelled? I was told no, or very rarely.
I then went to the airport by taxi, and, once there, what do I see? that my flight is just "delayed", due to weather conditions...
Too bad.. I had already changed my previous flight for Beijing (6 hours waiting there, instead than 1H30 with that flight), and I said "oh God, I hope I'll get in the plane in time..)
Time was very very like an "enemy" for me, because each time I wanted it to be the time to land off, we had to wait again a bit...
Finallly, we landed off at 09:20 pm, instead than 08:50 pm, and I saw there were only 2 hours flight for Beijing...
It just sounded strange to me, because from Beijing to Chongqing, last time, I did 2 hours and 30 mins approximatively.
I checked without asking (I should had had!!) and I saw there was another destination (hanyun???)
Once I was in the plane, I saw to myself that all was nice and so on, and I enjoyed leaving finally Chongqing airport, but not really leaving Ting...
2 hours later, so, I hear we arrive at Beijing, so I'm happy but I only see a small way for planes....
WTF? :huh:
I go out the plane and see a small building.
I then ask someone "Beijing Airport?" and I'm said "yes"
So, i don't understand.
Once I have all my baguages, I feel there's a problem coming ...
A lady at the "douane"? just asks me my visa/flight. I then ask her and I suddenly see that I'm in the wrong aiport.

O
M
G

I then feel despited, saying that I'll never be there on time (it was 00:30 am) and my next flight was à 01:10 am from Beijing.
In fact, I was not at the good aiport, this one was not international...
How could I did guess that???
Anyway, I was really anxious...

One man looked at me and said "taxi??" and I immediately said "yes"!
I told him where to go, he seemed to understand a bit...
Once we were in his car, he called a friend of him and I spoke with that one, so, in english because he understood.
in fact, I understood that I was in a wrong airpot (not international one) and that we had to speed up, just because for 50 mins by car, we would had never been there in time...
I asked in chinese to the driver if he could speak english, he said only "yes, yes, it's ok";..
I told him "quick", and readed a sentence with my software, to say "I want to go to Beijing International Airport".
Just a fem moment next, he decided to go outside the car. I then saw he was hidding his car's identity, in front of the car and behind.
Do not ask me if it is authorized ^^
Once it was done, he called another lady, who confirmed with me it was Beijing Internation airports, and which terminal to choose.

Go to believe it or not, guys...
that man was very good !!! ^^
He drove more than 50 km/H the limitation, and had no problem.
We arrived at 00:55 am at the airport (I repeat, that man was really amazing when driving) and he had no problem.
We had to pay a bit at a sort of a "gate" before arriving to the airport , and as he knew he will had to pay, he stopped his car to change again the identity's of the car
He then left me , and I gave him 300 yuans for the run. It it quite a lot, I admit, but once again, he did his best to help me and I was very happy for it.

Once I entered the airport, in 5 mins, I had all ok ^^
My baguages were ok, my checkup too, and I then could see other people who were on the way to board in the plane.
10 mins later, it was closed and the plane began to engage on a pist to land off.

I looked at myself, saying alone "W A F D T"
What A Fucky Day Today :icon_cheesygrin:
I was looking everywhere, just saying that now, it was all done, I was coming back in France.

That week was very rich in feelings, emotions, and I never thought chinese people could be very "helpfull" when we could be lost somewhere and so on.
Maybe do some of them dislike foreigners, however, just look at me, many persons brought me their helps ^^
I think I would be sad anyway because I don't know about Ting's feelings for me. Zhou wrote me she loves me but I think "to love" is not the correct word. Actually, she's not on QQ and I don't have any news from her since yesterday. Maybe am I too "exigeant"? Zhou told me yesterday that Ting had to separate with the guy, but it could take some time, because she likes him anyway, and he gives her money each month ('seems like she's earning about 400 yuans), so it's quite hard to live correctly I think, wit it.
Well, Zhou is maybe "on the way to force, or maybe to "convince" Ting to be with me".
I'll see how it will evolve.
One of the good memories I keep about her is some pictures on my mobile, taken by her, showing just her & myself.
Maybe yes, for any reasons, she'd better be with a foreigner...
But love sometimes is difficult to understand and I don't really know how much she can like me.
Even if she was happy everytime we met each others

Well.
I think that for now, I'm ready to go there again in October, and I have to look for all administrative papers to do, if Ting would really come in France.
And even if it would not be the case, I coul eventually check at the process for all of it to be done.

I'll update some pictures a bit later, I'm just a bit tired

[Arnold]

Sylvain , you sure ... made sure ... that your last day there was as exciting as the previous day's :huh:

Thank you sooo much for a very interesting Insight of  One Brothar - One Week in He** oh I mean in China . I will applaud you again , for the way you handled yourself under these hard and never ending circumstances you were faced with .

I bet you need another week's vacation just to recover .

[Sylvain D]

Arnold, I would say "exciting" because of the limited time to go from one point to another one, and wishing that my plane for Brussels would not leave when I would be near the airport. Just for that, in fact

For sure, I am a bit tired right now that I'm at home, but I think I will sleep well tonight, because tomorrow, I'll have to go working again.

WAS..
What A Sheet

[Skip]

Sylvain,

In the south (Arkansas) we have an expression:  "Don't try to push a rope up a hill"  It holds especially true for relationships.  

You invested a tremendous amount of time, money and energy making your way to China to meet Ting.  Most importantly, she failed to be forthcoming with you, and allowed you little, if any chance for success.  Likely she isn't deceitful, just stuck between a rock (you) and a hard place (the Chinese guy).  Regardless of her motivation, she wasn't honest...not before you arrived or during your trip to see her.  

Now that you're back in France, what hope do you have that she will reform herself?  That means to me, either dump her resident boyfriend or ask you to move on.  Here is a great you tube video; a song by Mary MacGreagor, released in 1977:  Torn between two lovers".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3WMHBJu8Tg  Actually the comments on the video are really interesting.  

I admire you for the gracious way you handled the dilemma you found yourself in.  If I were in your shoes (and trying to divorce myself from the anger and frustration I would feel), I would allow Ting to have much more freedom that she might like. I would ask her to make a choice and be damn sure of it.  The rule:  Until you are free of the "hard place" please don't communicate with me.  I think it is totally unhealthy for you if she insists on "having her cake and eating it too" (another southern expression)

I expect that I will find myself in the minority here with this response.  But what the hell, you are a smart guy, you can hear both sides and make a good decision.

You are honorable, handsome and loyal.  There are plenty of women on CHL without all of the baggage who would jump at a chance to have a forthright relationship with you.

[Sylvain D]

I know there are things that I did not really mention because I lived too many hours there, with and without Ting.
The thing I know sure from Ting is "When you will be back home, I will need some time to be sure of my feelings for you".
I mean and understand easily, by that, that Ting will have to take a decision, whatever she chooses to be with me or not.
By the way, what about pictures where she seems to be very happy with me? Shall I say to myself that it is so easy to spend 3 hours a day with someone instead going on with work?? I don't even think so. For sure, in France, if I would leave my work in the afternoon with no really good reason, I would be at the door on next morning.
As i said to Zhou, I need Ting to write me and to say me so many things. Even if Ting was with me and Zhou in a restaurant when Zhou asked me (translating from Ting) : "she asks where you would marry".  And I know I then looked at Ting who looked at me.. just like as if it was a really honest question and so on.
Playing with my heart? Hmm.. Maybe, maybe not.
Zhou told me so, that Ting seemed that I was a bit joking with her when I wrote her letters. But she realized when she saw me that I was really honest, and that's why she was upset. Because many women seem to think that us, western men, are not really "honest" when writing to them, just writing some feelings as if it was just to say "hello, how are you?".. I think you all can understand it, even if that would not sound good.

Zhou told me so, that Ting maybe would stay with her boyfriend but not sure because she saw me for a short time but it seemed anyway to make "trouble" in her feelings.

About October, I would go there for sure if Ting really shows me that she really likes me and so on, but at the moment, I prefer watching where I'm walking, just for not falling in a hole

Thanks anyway for comments that I can easily understand, too.
And for now, I just think I'm not ready to see any other women via chnlove... just because I need some time for Ting to say me where she is about her feelings and seeing if I really will say to the agency what I lived in Chongqing if nothing would go "better" by the future with Ting...

[victor-hills]

Sylvain really hope things do work out for you i really do but dont let her string you along bud anyways you have your own mind im sure you will choose wich is right for you all the best mate.

[Tiztom]

I was going to stay out of this but seriously mate, get a grip & move on. You seem like a nice guy, maybe too nice for your own good, I think you mentioned earlier that if you sent a red envelope with 4,000 in it you may win the parent's over...........Are they selling her? Looking for a bit of non refundable cash? Maybe you and the Chinese guy could stand out the front of her house & have an auction, highest bidder gets the girl.
It also seems you saw more of her sister than you did of her, why?
I wouldn't bother to contact her until she contacts you with some pretty convincing apologies for suckering you into coming to meet her when there was another man already on the scene, which you should have asked in the first place, if she was the nice girl you think she is she would have told you exactly what was going on & not been a deceitful $#%@, and take my advice, never fall in love till you have spent time with someone, especially not over the net.
And when you go back in October..............Go to a different city so you don't waste any more time pursuing her, it's not going to happen!!!!!!!

[Sylvain D]

In fact, there may be a misunderstanding.
I don't want to deal about "sellings" and anything else because to me, this "traditionnal" way to be for some chinese parents is a bit like that. Even if the lady doesn't really want to marry someone, if that person gives money to her parents, she wil also have to marry with him...
But I never said I wanted to do it or to say that I can do better than the chinese man. Even if I got money, that's not I'm looking for.
Ting did not spend more or less time than her sister, maybe was a bit equal. But the way to be, to act, I mean Zhou, is something "special". Maybe because she is older, she is more "mature"? maybe because she is older, so she can see things differents? I think she is honest with me.
But maybe is she trying to force her sister to be with me, just because of "green card". In fact, she told me about it but she said too that Ting really likes me. And I can say I know Ting likes me. And Zhou would like Ting to end up her realationship with the chinese but Ting seemed to reply her by saying "step by step", (slowly) because up to now, he did no "wrong thing" to say that she didn't want anything more with him.
Anyway, Zhou told me that she wanted me to leave China with good memories, and that is was quite "normal" for her to be with me if Ting could really not. Because of the same family and because she wanted me to be happy before leaving (she even introduced me to a friend of her, but I did not want to spend some time with that lady...)
I prefer gaining some parents by being myself and without forcing whatever could evolve between Ting and me. Or not.
I know Ting has to bring me any response, but I don't want to force her by saying "do it, don't do it, but do something"..
Right now, I'm in France, she's in China and maybe does she live everyday with the chinese man, in fact I don't know anything about that.
that's why, too, I can't permit myself to contact the agency to say some things that could may probably wrong. And with it, it would be more difficult to "gain" any better steps with Ting's feelings about me.
For sure, if nothing goes well in a couple of weeks, in October I don't think I would see her again.
But I would really appreciate to go back to the hilton, just because I know some persons over there and that, maybe they could help me to meet some nice persons, who knows?
One of them just told me that I should look for a massage before leaving, I said i needn't, but maybe on next time, who knows.

[Arnold]

I would say , Sylvain had enough support for right now ( either way ) and He only He will need of few day's to think this over without any of us here , pulling and pushing him back and forth . I know we all mean well , but let's give him some slack to come up with the right plan to go on .
Let him come back and tell us what his decision is going to be .