Operation Chongqing

[JimB]

David, good letter. Well written and I happen to agree with it.  i think he has High hopes but he is butting his head against the Great Wall not a rubber tree plant. There are over 6000 women here alone, plus there are a number of guys here with women they know are good women and would be proud to introduce him to any one of them.  I know I would. I have a 46 your old Dr. a 33 year old accountant, a 34 year old sales consultant and nurses that range from 24 to 50. All wanting to meet western men.  All known to be real and good women.

[Arnold]

Yes David , I agree , you have put it as gently and straight forward as one can . I have told him tonight just about the same thing via E-Mail to him ( call him " Sly " by the way ) . Enough is enough my same word's . It will hurt for a while of course , but the next Lady will make it feel better .

[Sylvain D]

Well, it's always the same about my nights... so short.

First let talk about that Chinese man ok???now I just keep the very normal relationship with him because of the force from my parents.We just have dinners together sometimes.About three or four times once a week.Then after lunch or supper I always countiue my work or go home to look after my parents.It is impossible for me to not see him.the most important reason is from my parents you know. I wish you can forgive me.What I can promise you is that I only have dinner with him.And that's all.I think it is normal.Just like friends.What's your idea about that???

In fact I talk with my parents all the time.But do you think it is very wise to talk with them when they are furious.I just intend to talk with them again when they become much better.Or do you have better ideas???

I agree with your ideas and think it is very nice.You said I can go to France to see whether I can be suitable it or not.you are so careful and kind.I totally agree with your ideas.^^Dear,I make progress all the time.Please do not doubt my progress.My heart is also very unwell and feel sad many times.I do not know I should rupture with my parents or obey them.I just feel no matter which way I choose,I will feel not happy for that.

I miss you really.

I know she is honest. Because of many moments over there... but as I wrote to her, I won't force her parents to meet them and so on...
it's hard to "forget" many things past, it's even hard to think that she just played with me... I don't really think she wanted to play.
but she could had been honest with me, for sure, about the chinese man..
Maybe did I really disturb her feelings...

Well, I will check for many other opportunities to go in China...I'm thinking about Beijing. Most pictures from Arnold and The Great Wall, say I have to go there. How about agencies over there in fact?

By the way, I want to thank you all for your support, comments and so on. Because it is really precious.

Now, I just let that week going, slowly.. I don't hope anything "nice" nor "bad" with Ting... maybe will we stay as "good friends", maybe not, maybe more, maybe less... i don't know and for sure, I have no more place right now in my brain to think about all of it.

See ya
Sly' (thx Arnod )

[Vince G]

I don't think she was playing a game. I think she was looking for another way to meet someone. I am not sure if she knew of this other man before she started or it happen during the time she was writing you? Maybe just as you were making plans to go he showed up? I don't know. But it seems she is now caught in the middle of what she has to do and her feelings. In time it will work out but how long this will be no one knows.

I think she did have feelings for you but held back much love and affection knowing she has no choice. I think I would put her on the back burner (an expression, let it cool down) There is a good chance this is as far as it will be.

[David5o]

From what ever way you look at it, This has been like a rollercoaster game show for Sly. except it hasn't been a funny or happy show for him. time to pull the plug.... and look forward to a better time. At least he's not going to have the wool pulled over his eyes when he goes back to China in September. And if he stays, as far away from his ex-ladies ciy as possible...... What an oportunity for him. If all goes well there , he won't be having any time to write to the forum everyday on his trip..... Go for it Sly , no more sitting down and wallowing in despair. Just look at this as a one of life's lessons, file it in memory, and move on.....

David......

[Sylvain D]

Well, for sure, she didn't play any game with me. There's anyway some feelings in another letter from her, and something just let me thinking she's honest.
Well.. To be angry for a long time is just bad.. I don't see why I should be angry for many things..  Ting and her sister were quite nice and polite with me when they were with me and we had some fun moments, too, so we did have with the translator, too.
Ting said me she had to spend some times with her boyfriend because she was forced to it, because of her parents... I can't blame her for it.
And, for a "one week's travel", I would admit that I had many moments in emotions. Some good and some "bad" ones...
But...
I think I "lost" a bit myself just because of the difference of the culture...
Here, I often become angry really quickly... I can blame anybody for anything and being really like "bad", anxious and nervous. (stupid country and stupid way to be...^^) but I think it is because we "learnt" to be like that...
For sure, we most can't hide our feelings, but chinese people can, (maybe all, maybe not... well.. ) and sometimes, I admit it's difficult to
know their feelings... I lived it with Ting.. But it was also my first trip and I learned anyway many things from life in China...

Vince, to reply to your question, the chinese man "appeared" about 4 months ago, but he became more "active" in the 2 last months, it seems, by giving money to Ting's parents and to her, too.

Well, like a "feet behind", I would say that I don't have to blame Ting for what she lives, nor for the fact she has a boyfriend (she didn't choose to be with him, for sure), and I don't have to blame her parents because they are traditional.
Maybe should I had been more "careful" before... maybe was she honest since the beginning, thinking (as she said in one letter today) that her parents could be ok with her later..
I don't have to regret anything... Just because it was anyway a good experience to live at many points.
Life goes on, and for sure, I'll move in September over there again.
I didn't choose yet the destination.  But I am thinking more and more about Beijing (maybe 3 days would be nice, just to do The Great Wall, and many other places. )

[JimB]

I would not trust Market Garden Marriage Agency in Beijing if i were just writing to someone.  But if you are going there and actually want to meet someone from their agency that is a different story.  if you dont have any luck just let me know.  I will be there for the month of September also.  I can for sure have someone for you to at least have dinner with and show you around.  She also is learning French.  She is a "sister" of mine.  Great girl and pretty. You are a gentleman so i do not mind introducing you.

[Sylvain D]

Hi JimB
Well, I know my holidays are from 19/09/09 up to 02/10/09 so.. maybe will we be able to see each other? if so, I would enjoy to see you there and I'm thinking about your "suggestion"
I have to see where I would go, first. Maybe will I go in another city than Beijing, at first, and then, moving there on the other week.
I have to see "quickly".
And about being introduced to your "sister", for sure, I am quite interested, for sure (I could help her to learn some good french sentences:) )
About the Agency in Beijing, in fact, I don't know if it's that one you mention, I was in fact thinking about one from Chnlove.. but maybe is it that one in fact.. I will look at it ^^

[JimB]

It is from Chnlove. It is the agency that tried/did cheat me.  I guess you dont know my story.  The quick of it is.  The lady I thought I was writing to for about 5 months had actually only received a very few of my letters.  I met her when I went there and even though she did not know me we eventually fell in love and are going to marry in August.  That is why I said to stay away if I was just writing.  But if you are going to actually go there to meet someone they cannot do that and you will be able to get her e mail address and QQ if she has one. so you can bypass the EMF's if you want.
If you like history Xi'an is the one place to go for it.  it was the capitol of the civilized world at one time, home of the Han dynasty.  It has museums and temples galore.  it is where the Terra Cotta soldiers are.  In my opinion well worth going to see.  I also have a connection there for a tour guide.  She is a very good tour guide. has connections to get the best seats in restaurants, is reasonably priced.  I do not know for sure whether she speaks French but something tells me she does as we were discussing her qualifications at one point.  we spent 3 days there and did not see everything going from 8 AM to 8 PM each day.    

Hi JimB
Well, I know my holidays are from 19/09/09 up to 02/10/09 so.. maybe will we be able to see each other? if so, I would enjoy to see you there and I'm thinking about your "suggestion"
I have to see where I would go, first. Maybe will I go in another city than Beijing, at first, and then, moving there on the other week.
I have to see "quickly".
And about being introduced to your "sister", for sure, I am quite interested, for sure (I could help her to learn some good french sentences:) )
About the Agency in Beijing, in fact, I don't know if it's that one you mention, I was in fact thinking about one from Chnlove.. but maybe is it that one in fact.. I will look at it ^^

[Sylvain D]

Thanks for the infos, and well, your story is always a nice one, except for the letters she did not get from you (for most of them)...
I will check what to do exactly and how long in Beijing, because I must see many things right there

[JimB]

There is a ton of things to see in Beijing.  This will be my 3rd trip and I will still see new things.

[Sylvain D]

I'll have to suscribe, so

[Scottish_Rob]

JimB, I saw the Terra Cotta Warriors when they were put on display in Glasow, Scotland, man what a sight wow....:icon_biggrin:

[Martin]

From what ever way you look at it, This has been like a rollercoaster game show for Sly. except it hasn't been a funny or happy show for him. time to pull the plug.... and look forward to a better time. At least he's not going to have the wool pulled over his eyes when he goes back to China in September. And if he stays, as far away from his ex-ladies ciy as possible...... What an oportunity for him. If all goes well there , he won't be having any time to write to the forum everyday on his trip..... Go for it Sly , no more sitting down and wallowing in despair. Just look at this as a one of life's lessons, file it in memory, and move on.....

David......

I agree with David.  This has been a strange ride since the day you stepped off the airplane.  Everything going on has been playing on your emotions, and that is not right.  You are a far more patient person than I am.  i would have called this quits long before.

[Sylvain D]

Well.
As requested, Ting sent me a mail, in chinese, and here it is :

DEAR XIxi?
? ?
?
?? ? ?? ??

?


?
? ?
? ??
?? ?
? ?
??
?

Well, I used Google Translator.
I understand a bit that it seems she can't go against her parents and has no choice... I also shall understand she is sad and is sorry about all that.
but I don't know if she has to/must stop clearly to give me any more news from her right now.. or not.
I sent her a mail, no reply, but as it is night over there, maybe will she reply later.. or not.
and my flowers are still "in progress" to be delivered to her .. and to her mother...
That just makes me smile... a bit.
And her sister wrote me to say she was going to talk with Ting's parents. It seems they're undestructible...


Well, what else to say ...