Operation Chongqing

[JimB]

Sylvain,

I used my translation program and it came up this way.  From what I read, it says that the parents minds are made up and they are afraid you will cheat/leave her as the last boyfriend did, that you are not really earnest/true in your love. She knows you are true but her parents don believe it.  Foreigners change their minds to much.   She cannot go against her parents.  She is sad but that is it.  And she hopes you lead a good life.  I know there is more but that is the basics.

 That is my take on it anyway

(Dear XIxi ?
Let did not write a letter for you yesterday down and because I was too busy very sorry
I should write English for you of however I really can't just write Chinese to you me very sorry
Can say as for my parents my they are very traditional really I originally think at the beginning to speak of you to them, they agree
As a result they afterwards just say block the horizontal department is feel you are affirmative not earnest
And a foreigner changes the vegetable really too many
We are really hard really and completely rest assured
Because my boyfriend of the past cheated me
Hope you can comprehend
But afterwards I believed you however who know my parents are to determinedly be opposed to their think if your cheating me to go abroad them more can't
I know you can't you are so good however they not believe I am also can't
My parents if different idea I am true of follow you can't
I am very sad also very sorry
Hope you can lead very good
?)

[Sylvain D]

It seems anyway they would have a doubt...
because of her ex boyfriend... but... i'd like to know how she met him... maybe did she know him from her parents???
if so, they would had done a first error...
Well...

I don't know what to say else, anyway...
because even that letter seems to let her parents in "trouble" or "asking themselve any questions"...

[Sylvain D]

Well...

I've just a last ammo on me to use for that story.
But, to use it, I request a BIG HELP from anyone who could help me to translate a letter, to english, to chinese.
Just understand that, with Google translator, babylon and so many other softwares, that letter would never be like I would, to be translated as it should be.

If anyone is ready to help me, just say it, please.
Actually, I'm writting that letter in fact, and for sure, I'd like to give it "by mail" to Ting ASAP.

I've nothing more to loose...
with it, I will end the "turnaround" for the last time. And all will be really done.

[Hajo]

Sylvain, if you want the letter to be in correct chinese, then there is only one posibility. That is a chinese translator. I assume you would find some in France. They should be able to translate from France to Chinese. I know, it is going to cost some money. But on the other hand you should get a translation which tells want you want to say. That is what I would do.

Because as you say yourself, translation programs make errors or twist the meaning of what you want to say.

Here is what the tanslation program I use did to Ting's text:

I am sorry not to write to you yesterday because I am very sorry too busy
I should write to you in English, but I really can not write Chinese and we have to give you I am sorry
About my parents I can only say that they really are very traditional, I used to think that was mentioned to them they will agree with you
They later said the block is that you cross the Secretary will not seriously
And a foreigner is of far too many variables
We really feel that is really difficult to be assured
Because I used to deceive my boyfriend
I hope you can understand
However, I believe that you know but who is strongly opposed to my parents that if you cheat me they can not leave the
I know you will not so well but you do not believe that ah I do to remedy the
If my parents do not agree with you I really do to remedy the
I am also sad I am sorry
I hope you can live well
Ting

Good luck!

[Sylvain D]

yeah Hajo, I did have the same translation as you in fact.

So...
As most of you are with their women / ladies.
My first idea is to write in english.
In fact, I think I can better exprim myself in english when I write, instead than speaking...

So, I'm just finishing my letter in a few minutes.
If someone would help me, that would be really helpful for me.
I would then have no regret to not have tried anything to convince her parents.. and to show them what I feel for their daughters.
So, here is my letter.
No matter it would take 1 or 2 days to tranlate.
Now, I think I can sleep in "better" mood, because I have done all I could to show Ting how much I believed in us through that letter.
Maybe will it "affect" her mother if she can read it.. maybe will they directly throw it away...

Well..
I'll see if they would give any reply to it... or not.

?
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Dear Mrs ZHOU,

I would like to apologize, first, because you don't really know me, and I don't really know you, nor your husband.
However, Ting talked to me about you, and about Ying, too.
I would like to talk to you a bit about me, and my story, how I knew Ting, when I met her, and my feelings for her.

So, I am Sylvain, a french man, 34 years old, working in a big international company (ATOSORIGIN), through the world. I work in informatic, in fact, I help people who have some problems with their computers. I really like that job and helping people in fact.

I have to admit that, this technology (with Internet) helped me to meet your daughter on a website, for datings. At first, I thought she was like some "dream", because her pictures were really so nice to be true.

I wanted to know some more about her, and, since December, 2008, I talk with her via the agency based in Chongqing.
I always liked to write to your daughter, and she liked reading my letters, too. I would say I saw that my feelings were emerging, slowly, but surely.
For her birthday, I wanted to send her a gift, so I did it, with some flowers. To me, it is a gift from the heart, just to see that your daughter would be very happy.
It seems she was very happy, in fact. And so were I.

I talked to her that, for sure, I would come from France, to visit China, and to see her, because as I said before, my feelings for here began to emerge. And to be more and more inside my heart.

Maybe did your daughter talk to you about me, maybe did she say you, too, that I would come to see her. And, maybe did no one of you really thought I would come to see Ting.
But I did it. Because my feelings for her told me to do it.

So, recently, I came to Chongqing and I wished to see Ting.

At the first time, we met "any difficulties" to understand each other correctly (I'm also learning chinese, in fact, because I love your daughter and because I really like many things in China). But, a few days later, we were very happy to spend a few moments together.
Your daughter took some pictures about her with me, so did Ying, too. I sent those pictures to your daughter, and, if you may want to look at it, maybe will you see that your daughter is really beautiful on it, and that she is really happy.
She told me about her boyfriend who was introduced to her.
I was sad because I didn't know about him before.

Now, I just don't know what to do correctly.

Because when I met Ting in Chongqing, I felt in love for her. She knows it. And Ying does know it, too.
I coud not explain why, or maybe yes, in fact. Just because she is your daughter, just because she is really beautiful, just because... she is her.

I was very happy, as I said before in my letter, that I could spend some nice moments with her, talking about many things, about her, about me, about life in France, about my comments related to life in China. I really liked to share it with your daughter.

My story is a bit "different" from many other persons.
My parents left me when I was 2 years old. Actually, I still don't know who they are, and why they left me. I still don't know too, if I may have any sister(s) and brother(s) (because in France and in many other countries, we can have more than only one baby per family).
A nurse helped me and did my education up to my 5 years old. And she did it very well. I really liked her and admire ladies who are like her.

I then was adopted by some persons (my actual parents, so) who showed me that love was really a beautiful thing to live. They had to pass many exams and tests, to see if they really liked babies, how they could be with them and so on. Well. They were very ready to do all those tests and there were no problem to adopt a baby.
So, since my 5 years old, I live with them as my real parents. I love them.

I got a daughter, too. She will be 3 years old. But I'm separated from her mother, who is with another man (and that man has a son, who is 5 years old). They live in happyness.
With my ex girlfriend, we talked several times about our daughter. How to educate her, how to be with her and so on...  Well, it is not really easy to imagine that, most of the times, man has to go and see a lawyer, then going to the hall of justice, to know who will carry about the baby, who will pay and so many administrative things.
We did not met that problem. Because we are mature. We solved it by being ok.

So, I can see my daughter whenever I want and take her with me, too. My parents really love her.

Your daughter has some pictures about her, if you want, she may can show it to you.

What I want to say in this letter, is that I know why I love your daughter and why I wish so many things with her.

First, I am not her exboyfriend. I am different. Because everyone is different, and we all have a way to live, to be. I would say, that, as I said to your daughter, I just can not lie to anybody, nor cheating. Because man can see it into my eyes. My feelings can't be hidden. And I am really honest.

About my daughter, I want her happyness. And I wish to find someone who would really love her and be able to be as a "second mother" for her.

I talked many times with your daughter about all that. She really likes my daughter in fact. She wished to see her one day, and being able to play with her.

I would like to please you, so, to see that yes, I really love Ting.

I talked to her about life in France, I talked to her about weddings and many other things.
She told me she cared leaving you. I just said that she didn't have to care, because if she would live with me, at first, for sure, she would stay in China for 1, maybe 2 years.  But never she would abandon you. Because she loves you.

I told her that I was ready to help her, the best way I can. I have my own studio, I have my own car. I live in a country where "rich" and "famous" are some words that don't affect me. Because I am not a rich person, buying me many things that I won't use later, and I'm not famous, too, because I don't need to be famous.

I am just me, like so many other people, living each day with an objective, which is the same since December, 2008 : loving Ting and wishing to be with her.

I know that, to come in China and to see you daughter, it was like a dream for me. As for Ting.

I realized that dream. Because I believed in it. I believed in Ting.

I know that you are traditional parents, and that you wish happyness for your daughter.
I know too, that you willy to marry her with the other man who was introduced to her.

I would say I am a bit "sad" because of it. But I am also sad to see that Ting showed me she really liked me and showed me happyness when we met.

I am sad in fact because I would tell you how much I love your daughter, and that I know I want her happyness. Just like you want it, too.

Ting is a very beautiful woman. She is the perfect woman. And I would really like to live with her.

I would say, that yes, I know what all of this means, and about my country which is far away from yours.

As I promised to Ting, I am ready to help her, as I am ready to help you, too.

Ting told me she worked and saved some money for you, each month. I would help her about that.
In France, I got about 15 000 RMB's / month. Maybe is it lot for you, maybe not. But as I said, I have my own studio, I have my own car, so I can save some money easily to come in China again in a few months.
If Ting could live with me, I also can promise I would do all I coud to help her to go and visit you the best way I can. Because I know I want her happyness. Maybe could you come in France, too, to visit her, or to live there, later... If so, I would do all my best for it, too. To realize it. Because you also could see your daughter often and could see how happy she is. Anyway, buying her a flying ticket to go in China doesn't bother me. Because I want you and Ting to see that I would do all I could to make everything possible for you to see you often. And that I am ready to help Ting if she would come in France. I promise it. Even if it would be one week (for a first visit for example), even for two monthrs, and more.  And for sure, i would never leave her alone. I promise that.

Just try to understand that I did not come in Chongqing, just to see your daughter and play with her feelings.
I came because I believed in her, I believed in me, I believed in us.

I know that you quarelled about me, and I would apologize for that.
I wish you may forgive me for that.
Ting really loves you.
She tried to show you she really liked me and that I gave her happyness.

I would say that, whatever you choose for your daughter, I wish that you would accept to have readed that letter with any consideration for a foreigner, who is honest with you and who has never cheated your daughter.

I promise anyway to never cheat her. Because I love her. Because I know many difficulties of life but that I am ready to face it.
Because I gave your daughter some happyness. And because I believe in her and in me, I believe in the two of us.

I wish too, that my letter would not offend you. If you would think that yes in fact, it offends you, so, I just am sorry, it wasn't meant to be that way.

In a few days, Ting will get many flowers from me. Because, as I said to her before leaving Chongqing, I felt in love with her, and that I miss her. So, I just wanted to offer her some flowers, to show her that my love for her is still alive, like a candle which never dies. And that I miss her.

I know that I am exposing you to "some" difficulties because of my acts about your daughter.

As me, you are looking for her, to have a simple life, happyness everytime and to not leave you. And not to be with someone who wouldn't make her happyness and many other things.
I think that here, anyway, the fact to "bring" or to "give" some money to you and to Ting don't show that man can love and wants to marry someone else. It is just nothing, because happyness can't be related to money, nor love. Maybe money can make happyness. But love without feelings can't be related to money.

However, if the 2 persons really like each other, for sure, money can really help to make wonderful things, like for weddings and many other things.

I wish that question won't offend you, but... did you try to see if Ting was happy to marry the other man? Did she tell you she was very happy to be with him, and that she loved him?

I just would say that, if you just would give me "any chance" to meet you, even 5 minutes, even less if you wish, I would always be happy for you to have afforded it to me. And I would also come from France to Chonging, just to meet you. Because I love Ting.

Because to me, it would be really important that you give me any chances to meet you. Because you are Ting's parents and that I wish you could better understand my request.

Even if you would not Ting to not be with me, later, I then would agree with your opinion, and I would accept it, anyway.

And I also would give you all my apologies, to have "brought" some troubles into Ting's life.

I just forgot about it :
Ting will have flowers, but you will also have some ones.

Because you are very important for Ting, and because you are her mother. I have many respect for you and for Ting's father, but I did not know what to offer him. Please forgive me for that.

I wish anyway you would like those flowers.

it is just a gift from me : A foreigner, whom Ting brought sunshine and happyness since she talks with him.

I wish you all a nice afternoon and apologize if that letter would have "perturbed" you.

Thanks anyway for having listened to my request about loving Ting and to be with her.

Sincerely yours,

Sylvain

I tried to speak with all my feelings.
In french, I would also have said it may be more difficult... but in english, I'm sure everyone can understand it clearly;

Thanks to all those who could help.

[David5o]

Sly,

I'm probably going to get my arse reamed here again but .......

Sly, you have NO ammo left, None whatsoever....  So Stop fighting, ...the battle and the war is over.

You have just a few short weeks till you go back to China. If you carry on as you are now, you'll be allowing her to ruin yet another trip. Lay down your pen, close the computer and give yourself at least a 2 week break from this forum and CL.  

Then when you come back, start planning for your trip to China. You have already been offered help from a member, in meeting a KNOWN lady (that's Not going to lead you a merry dance) on your trip, if your interested. You are in an enviable position Sly... Use it, too it's full potential!! There are plenty on here I'm sure, where things went bad on there first trip to China. Most have turned that bad experience, into a potential success story by meeting another lady. Not so much by luck this time, but by using there past experiences, to make better dicissions/judgements than they had made before. So go out there and have a Ball this time!!

Your presnt situation can be described as ....A Dead Duck,  don't waste another minute thinking about it.
It's time to think about yourself, and your future. Don't allow your experience with this lady, change you into something your not!!  You have more patience than i Sly, but it ain't going to do you any good this time!!

One last piece of good advise, whatever you do, ...''Don't you Dare Go Back To Chongqing'' on your next trip.......  Best of luck to you Sly
 
David.......

[Irishman]

Have to admit, I'm with David on this , Sly, you need to let go, she is telling you in as nice a way as possible her parents wont accept you, for her sake and yours you need to move on. Chinese girls don't go against their parents wishes, this is a battle you cannot win.

[Norb Smith]

Sly have to agree with David on this and look at the past posts of Irish again, and his trip and how he met his Ling, his start on his trip was a disaster, if you remember and we were all behind him to hope he still could enjoy his trip and he met the lady of his dreams, so like David said shut down for a little bit get yourself back together, get ahold of Jim who will introduce you to some other ladies in a different location and enjoy yourself, and stay the h--- out of your hotel room, and see the sites, Now you got my nickels worth and I hope you dont send me any change............lol......:fi_lone_ranger:

[Martin]

Sly...this is a losing battle, and personally, I blame her.  She was not upfront about her entire situation.  She goes out to dinner with this guy up to 4 times a week...because they are friends?  She knows that he wants to marry her...money has changed hands...and she is telling you that the meals are "just friends"?

It's time to move on.  She is telling you to move on in her letter.  Let go, and take a break.  Like David said, don't let her ruin another trip over to China.  You have new opportunitues awaiting you...maybe even better ones.  But you will never know, if you don't move on from this one.

[Sylvain D]

I think I got a personality which is like it is... Man could introduce me to the most beautiful woman on Earth, I wouldn't change my mind.. Well, I know, I guess that I can be boring.. For sure.
I am what I am.
The thing I don't really "like", it to be "compared" to any other person.. from what I see on Ting's letter, her parents scare she would leave them and/or that I would cheat her.. that's why they protect her... there's nothing related to traditional, as I can see..
They just act like we would act for our daughters... because they care about her.
Ting is sad, surely, as she says.. ok she can't go against her parents... because she doesn't know how to convince them that maybe they  are doing any error...
How many times traditional parents will "inflige" their children to act as they want... Is it really meant to be "we marry you because we know you will love him"??? just let me laugh...
Ok we are western men.. Ok our mentality, our way to be is too much different...
And so, WT....?
Did anyone here just never wanted to go till the end of any "battle", tryin' all he could to win, even a bit of something he was fighting for?
I'm not sure we have any member who would have already left anything so "quickly and easily", too.
Ok I did so many things that Ting really liked and liked me for all that...
Ok I'm still alive after having living many stories in Chongqing.
Ok David is may be right, so you are, Irish, and you too, Norb.

But...
When I posted here a message from Ting which sayed "my parents don't agree with us, I can not and my boyfriend broke up", I was always sure she was still with him... How to explain it, because I'm french and most of you are american or irish or aussies or anything else.. and most of you seemed to have understood her message like "she is no longer more with that man".

So.. what I mean in fact, is that ... i don't know how to really explain it but...
It's like a "feeling", that I think that posting that letter would/could touch them anyway..

And as I said... I've got nothing more to lose... so.. why not trying that' ultim shot....

[Sylvain D]

Why givin' it a break...
Da ya think I need holidays too? Do you wish to send me any money to go and enjoy life to Bahamas???
(kidding)
I think it's ok...
For sure, i'm sad too...
Well, I will see how to proceed.

I've looked at the scanner on Chnlove..
A few ladies still attractive in Chongqing, as in Shangaï, Beijing, Hunan...
Fore sure, if I hear once again the word "traditional", I gonna use a uzi "made in china", so I will have no probs because it is made there...
(any kind of dark humor?) well..

I wrote to another lady today, from Shangai. She is nice, but she is more than 30.
I don't decline any introducing to any ladies, for sure...
I can meet anyone with no any idea of what could happen (or not) and so... I don't know what else to say.
For sure, I'd like to go in Chongqing once again... (at the hotel anyway to see any contacts of me over there) and maybe tryin' to see any other ladies... suitable ones...

Now, I can't blame anyone of you because you have always good advices and comments.
So, don't matter for me.
All's fine anyway...

NB / Did Ting really mean that she would not write to me anymore in fact? (stupid question but whay not asking)...

[David5o]

Sly,

You are your own worst enemy, and rapidly becoming a lost cause!!
No-body in there right mind is going to answer your question, because it's only going to feed your obsession of a totally lost cause.  

David.....

[Sylvain D]

If anyone don't reply...
I crush him :@

(Did I really say that?
OMG)
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
(kidding)

No...
I can understand...:fi_lone_ranger:

But I still agree that Chongqing ladies are very beautiful....

[Norb Smith]

Sly with all honesty, your are banging your head against the Great Wall, and the headache is contining to worsen for you you have to quit banging your hread and this terrible headache will go away. As David mentioned, we have no more answers that we can give you that wont feed you to hear, you are not listening to what has been suggested, and what you are listeming to only that which is what you want to hear not what you should be listening to...... Sorry Bud but I had to learn one or two times the hard way also. Like we have all agreed take some time off even from here, and then get your head screwed on straight and come back if thats what you need, we will all be here waiting for you and be glad to have you back in the fold, I know I would have to take a break if this happens to me, and I am sure everyone would still be here to welcome me back when my fog had cleared and I could see things as they are

Boy, your getting a whole quarters worth this time........lol........

[Vince G]

Sylvain I edited this book you wrote to Tings mother. I will email it to you

By the Way An Uzi is an Israeli gun Made in Israel.