Operation Chongqing

[Sylvain D]

Thank you for all your effort and patience, Vince
As I said, even if it is a lost cause... I have nothing more to lose there.
May it touch her parents...
Even if they would burn the letter.. it does not matter.
I have nothing more to regret by now about all of this.

[victor-hills]

Sly boy i know how your feeling m8 been there done it ok she was a english lady but it same sort of thing she hade me jumping though the hoops i was neaver sure were i stood with her i did eavery thing for her she played me well it got to a stage were i just could not think right,and like you i would not let it go but in the end i hade to becase it was driveing me mad it got to a stage it made me ill so for my self being i let her go. I know its not the same but its the same obsession sly just take some time of from this sly eaven if it only a week no more writeing just leave as is then see how it go,trust me i know it aint easy m8.
take care bud.

[Vince G]

In my note I put.... Make this the last Missile.

You did all you can.

[Sylvain D]

'dont have to care, as I say, all is ok
I'm not a man who gonna takes his car and goes for a big ride into Paris and driving as a crazy mad man...
(or yes but I can drive well, so it's ok )
(kidding)
and for sure, I have no way to feel so bad..
just guess that what hurts me the most is from my birthdate, not all my relations
So... I'm still ok for any joy ride, whatever would happen, whenever it would be, and wherever too

[Sylvain D]

my dear xixi,

I read your three letters very carefully and you also read my CHinese letters and can understand most of them.I feel very happy for that.

I should tell you the newest progress of our things.Yesterday I mentioned you again and wish my parents can become cool-headed to consider our things carefully.Who knows my mother suddenly become very irascible and angry and order me to marry that man.And until that time I know that man is very cunning.Because he always visit my parents when I work out and help my parents with their housework and give money to my parents.And today my mother forced me to marry that man.We go to government office to transact it.I want to rush to you and cry loudly.What can I do???

Then I ask my sisiter.You know her.I ask her to discuss with my mother.Because you know she will marry an American.And in fact she is really very kind and say much to my mother.Now i feel that my mother just do not understand much.I said she can not accept high education and many things she doesn't know.After my sister's words I find she becomes better.At last my sister told me that my mother told her if this French man is really very good and he can show his sincere heart.She can consider about them(you and me).And now she feel very regretted to force me marry that man.It is just impulsion.

About my address,I think I will not blame you.It is ok.Nowadays we have no time to blame each other.We should discuss how can we stay together.I think it is a good idea for you to write letters to my mother.I think my sister can translate for us.It is really a very good idea to show your sincere heart dear.please do it ok???

Look forward your reply and take care ok???
yours
Ting  

[Tiztom]

No offense mate but you are starting to sound like an obsessed stalker, time to get some help I think, go see a therapist & get some help to get over her.

[victor-hills]

Geez tom your so blunt he only posted what she sead to him,and if he feels he must go on with this up to him but if it ends in tears it be down to sly.

[Tiztom]

31 pages, same shit different day, she's got him up & down like a yoyo, he needs time out........this should bring my warning level up to 80%, what happens when you hit 100%:icon_cheesygrin:

[Martin]

Want to find out?

[Tiztom]

God no, what would I do for entertainment?

[Irishman]

Sly, I think you need to let her go.

I should tell you the newest progress of our things.Yesterday I mentioned you again and wish my parents can become cool-headed to consider our things carefully.Who knows my mother suddenly become very irascible and angry and order me to marry that man.And until that time I know that man is very cunning.Because he always visit my parents when I work out and help my parents with their housework and give money to my parents.And today my mother forced me to marry that man.We go to government office to transact it.I want to rush to you and cry loudly.What can I do???

You need to let her go, she is never going to be your Lao Po and you are making it harder for you and her too.
She already married the guy it seems -

today my mother forced me to marry that man.We go to government office to transact it.

She is already married, its done, its over, move on.

[Danny]

Sylvain, I know what it is like to love someone obsessively, unhappily, and without regard to the possibilities of it working out.

Can I presume to offer some advice?

The situation you have described is entirely without hope. You continue to love her, but she is a married woman now.

Over time the feelings you have will gradually loosen their grip on your heart and mind.  

I would just allow time to heal the pain you have. There is no easy or quick way of recovering from this.

I don't think it hurts to continue to entertain the possibility of it working out, by writing to her, and by talking about it in the way you are at the moment. There's no need to take a break. Do as you please. If you enjoy talking about it, do that. It's only been days and weeks since this all happened. It's fair enough to want to talk about it. If you're still talking about this, in exactly the same way in a year's time, now that would be strange. But I think, at the moment, do exactly as you please.

But at the same time, do other things you enjoy. See friends and family you care about. Do the kind of things you enjoy, maybe if it is reading, or cinema, or going for a drive, do these things. Go to the gym and work out.

I would also start to write to other women. Just for fun, without any regard for them working out. Maybe nothing will come of any of these conversations. But it doesn't matter. Doing these other things helps you to start to get over this romance.

That's what worked for me.

I am sorry I missed your request for help with translations. I have a very good friend who would help me in such a situation if the need arises in the future. No offence, but it is easier to ask for help with translations if the letter isn't so long.

[Skip]

Sylvain, I know what it is like to love someone obsessively, unhappily, and without regard to the possibilities of it working out.

Can I presume to offer some advice?

The situation you have described is entirely without hope. You continue to love her, but she is a married woman now.

Over time the feelings you have will gradually loosen their grip on your heart and mind.  

I would just allow time to heal the pain you have. There is no easy or quick way of recovering from this.

I don't think it hurts to continue to entertain the possibility of it working out, by writing to her, and by talking about it in the way you are at the moment. There's no need to take a break. Do as you please. If you enjoy talking about it, do that. It's only been days and weeks since this all happened. It's fair enough to want to talk about it. If you're still talking about this, in exactly the same way in a year's time, now that would be strange. But I think, at the moment, do exactly as you please.

But at the same time, do other things you enjoy. See friends and family you care about. Do the kind of things you enjoy, maybe if it is reading, or cinema, or going for a drive, do these things. Go to the gym and work out.

I would also start to write to other women. Just for fun, without any regard for them working out. Maybe nothing will come of any of these conversations. But it doesn't matter. Doing these other things helps you to start to get over this romance.

That's what worked for me.

I am sorry I missed your request for help with translations. I have a very good friend who would help me in such a situation if the need arises in the future. No offence, but it is easier to ask for help with translations if the letter isn't so long.

It is so hard to learn how to push a rope uphill.  If only I had one more chance, I know I could figure it out............ad nauseum.

[Scottish_Rob]

Sly, I have intentionally not mentioned here because i thought the elder Statesmen were giving you some sound advice...........

However, one thing I have noticed about your letter to her parents, that not one person has said anything about it, how it will probably tug at her Mothers heartstrings, that IS quite a POWERFUL letter mate, in my humble opinion, but it may have arrived too them too late...unfortunetly.

You have every right to keep writing to Ting, that is totally up to you, but as a Frenchman you will know that there comes a time 'as in a war' it must end!!

As Irish, Danny and others have said also my friend, she IS NOW MARRIED.....Please for your own sanity (and said to you with the best intentions) give it up, you will in the long run SEE that to carry on for so long DID HURT YOU....and we as a brotherhood DO NOT want to see that happen

[Sylvain D]

Well.
how to say?
I didn't see it like that, in fact...
Because of her english so bad...
Just remember that sentence "my parents don't agree with us, I can not and my boyfriend broke up".. ==> she was saying in fact she couldn't break up with her boyfriend, not that her boyfriend had already broken up with her...
So, maybe would she had said in that sentence : "today my mother forced me to marry that man.We go to government office to transact it", maybe would she have said "today my mother will force me?"
I say that but I'm probably wrong...
because as she wrote me, I got a message on my phone from her sister who said me that Ting's mother listened to her and so on, and that she had to go back on Monday to speak to her...
I think I'm not here to be blamed, nor to blame anyone...
because if Ting is already married, why does she want me to send her the letter, to give it to her mother, next??? I just don't understand that.. And as her sister already talks with Ting, why didn't she say it to me ?
That are 2 questions I am asking you, because in my personal case, I don't know the answers if Ting is already married...

And now she feel very regretted to force me marry that man.It is just impulsion

I really don't understand anything.. why doesn't she say "I'm sorry, I have to leave you... " :huh:

Well..
I'll see, because the letter has already been posted back.
To reply to any other questions, comments and so on, in fact, I'm moving to anything else, I'm just checking, taking some time to know where I will go for sure in September. I have established a contact with 2 ladies from Shangaï, and one from Beijing. So, it's always good. but, for sure, actually, I'm not looking for the Big "L"...
I've already been outside, tonight, changing any ideas and so on...

I got another question, by the way...
Supposing Ting is married now to the other man... how long does she have to wait to "divorce" if she really wants to do it?
I apologize anyway if I'm boring most of you through my topic..

I just would like to add any other personal comment over here.
Most of you (or all of U?) already know that I'm french, so english is not my birth language (it could be in fact but it isn't)
What I am trying to say, is that, everytime, I have to translate french to english, french to chinese, chinese to english then english to french.
I can understand most of your sentences, for sure, not all of them.
The same about Ting...
So, if you already know that she's married in her last letter, I'm sorry but I didn't understand it in fact like that...
So, excuse me if sometimes I can not "understand" clearly something...
I think that however, I'm good enough to understand many things.