Re: Difference of age

[China Shark]

I had to answer this one because I have been back on the poverbial market and met this incredibly intelligent women who I think might be perfect for me. Problem is she is 23 and I'm 46. My bottom age has been 27 yet I feel a real closeness with her. She is wise beyond her years and totally fluent. I did not find out her age until an hour speaking to her at Starbucks. I'm confused as what I should do. Hell, I'm great for giving advice yet can never follow my advice. Guess you could say I'm too smart for my own good. I already set up a second date to go ice skating with her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. Sure my family will be more than overjoyed with this new turn of events. Whatever happens at least I can say I made an attempt. In my eyes guys are a minimum of 10 years younger than thier actual age so I can justify being with a much younger woman. Another thing she is smoking hot so I'm not dilluding myself into believing it is purely an emotional. Woman my age are boring as hell, east or west. I love roller coasters, mountain biking, mountain climbing and things that require a woman with a lot of stamina. If she is the one I guess I'll have to change my old thinking. If two people are right for one another they should disreguard age as long as they can relate with one another. Funny how women inadvertly make us comprimise without even consciously doing it. Who are we kidding they own us lock stock and barrel.
China Shark  Mike :mrgreen:

[Hajo]

Thanks for your input Michael and good luck with the lady. You are probably right, we are just fooling ourselves by having rules of age.  :roll:

[Hajo]

As some might have read in my blog, things with the lady aren't going as expected. Therefore I opened my profile again.

Admire's letters will come ^_^. I thought a lot about the age. Sometimes there are very young women writing and I usually would sort them out because of their age. I am 46 years and consider ladies below 36 years as very young  :mrgreen:  But sometimes I see young girls with "older" guys and it seems to work out just great.

Maybe it is just a culture thing or the way we are brought up. I will think twice before I would get involved with a lady below 36 years of age. But when it feels right, I will go for it I think. I know two couples where the women is quite younger then the man. It works fine for them.

It seems to me that Chinese women don't pay that much attention to the difference of age, do they?

[David]

Michael

Don't shoot a good relationship in the head just because the woman is younger than you.  If she is someone that you would have
gotten involved with if you added 10 years to her age then just ignore the age difference.  If you like each other then the age
should not matter.

If your just starting to look, I would agree with Hajo and look closer to your own age.  I set a lower limit of 15 years.  I would have gone 10 years
but I am still thinking about having a kid.  I turn 48 in May so I may not get the chance to ever have a child of my own.

However if I met someone that I really liked and she was younger than my normal limit, I definately would not throw the baby out with the bath
water.  True love is rare, and sometimes it is unexpected when it happens.

Glad to hear that you may have met someone really nice Michael!

Big Dave

[David K]

I had to answer this one because I have been back on the poverbial market and met this incredibly intelligent women who I think might be perfect for me. Problem is she is 23 and I'm 46. My bottom age has been 27 yet I feel a real closeness with her. She is wise beyond her years and totally fluent. I did not find out her age until an hour speaking to her at Starbucks. I'm confused as what I should do. Hell, I'm great for giving advice yet can never follow my advice. Guess you could say I'm too smart for my own good. I already set up a second date to go ice skating with her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. Sure my family will be more than overjoyed with this new turn of events. Whatever happens at least I can say I made an attempt. In my eyes guys are a minimum of 10 years younger than thier actual age so I can justify being with a much younger woman. Another thing she is smoking hot so I'm not dilluding myself into believing it is purely an emotional. Woman my age are boring as hell, east or west. I love roller coasters, mountain biking, mountain climbing and things that require a woman with a lot of stamina. If she is the one I guess I'll have to change my old thinking. If two people are right for one another they should disreguard age as long as they can relate with one another. Funny how women inadvertly make us comprimise without even consciously doing it. Who are we kidding they own us lock stock and barrel.
China Shark  Mike :mrgreen:

Hey China Shark:
I'm even more into the danger zone: shes 40,I'm  >60.  However, having lived a little longer, I'm more interested in deep communication than physical passion - the latter comes later :-). The upshot is that Air NZ have just posted airfares to AKL - HKG for $880 NZ, so I'm Shenzhen bound in June. Would'nt mind meeting for a coffee and a chat on the above topic once I'm there, and if you have the time and inclination.
All the best with your 'challenge' meanwhile..... David K from the bottom of the planet

[JimB]

Angel and I have had this conversation a couple of times.  I am 58 and she is 41.  Chinese women do not look at the age of a man the same way we do.  They are raised to adapt to the man, not the other way around.  Plus they feel than an older man can give them the comfort and consideration that a younger man may not.   Plus it is perfectly acceptable for an older man to marry a much younger woman.  Why do you think that there are so many over 30 divorcees who are desperately looking for a husband.  Because once over 30 the odds of her marrying drop significantly and over 40 is almost none.  I had a lot of younger women in their early 30's chatting with me.  I would not consider them seriously.  My daughter said I could not have anyone younger than she is. lol  She couldnt see herself calling a younger woman, Mom.  I think in their 40's is totally acceptable.  Plus at that age they are mature enough to know themselves and what they can and can not live with.  That and one more caveat.  True love sees no age, race, religion or continent.  She and I have that so age is of no consequence except in the abstract. The only comment ever made was that she wished we were both younger so she could have my baby.  I shot that one down fast let me tell you.  I have already raised my kids plus I am taking on a 16 year old.  I just can not see me at 70 coaching t ball.

[UK Mark]

This 'age' thing is a fascinating subject , I'd like to share with you guys part of a couple of conversations i had in early April with my girl Ning (She is 35 and I am 39)

NING ''Thank you very much for your fast reply, I am really very happy to hear from you again. Thanks for your kind words, at first I just wonder whether I should write to you or not, as you are so young, I think a man in your age should like to find a lady around 25 years old or so. And I am surprise that you still wish to write to me, thank you''

MARK ''Thankyou for your message with the lovely photos attached , you are very modest about your beauty , it is interesting to hear you say i am so young to be interested in a lady your age , I am 39 this month :s , hee hee , i have read that chinese men often leave their wifes for younger women , especially after having a child as Chinese law states a family is only allowed one child , in the UK , whilst it is true many men 'chase' younger women it is also true that most couples are close in age , of course there are many exceptions as in all things. ''

NING '' I know that you are 39, and to be honest, I write to men who’s over 45, and later they told me that they want a younger lady around 25 years old or so, that is why I ask you whether you are too young to me. I would be very happy if you don’t care about age, I think that is just a number, I just want to make sure you want to know a lady in my age. Hehe. ''

NING ''I think may be when you write to me again, you can send me some of your photos? I think to a man, 40 is just a age for him to begin his life, but to a woman, may be that is different. Hehe.''

[Arnold]

That's awesome Mark . Think how happy you'll make her , after having found such " YOUNG "  Man like you ? You both are lucky to have found each other and think , you will have many more year's as a Couple , compared to some older Men . Like myself , being 56 and my Wife 41 , i'll give myself a good twenty year's ... I hope ?

[UK Mark]

heheh Ya i do feel lucky Arnold , But you already have your girl ! well done and all the best for now and the future to you and your wife
. Heheh be generous give yourself 30 years not 20

[Arnold]

Thanks Mark , let's say 25 . I don't want to push it ! Hope the Man above is listening to my request ? I don't mean Martin !!!!
Your now on the same road to happiness , go slow and watch for the exit's to nowhere . Good luck my Friend .

[CJFeath]

This is the way I look at it. There is physical age and than mental age.

What I mean by that is. A woman can be 36 years old and acts like she is 21 again and then there could be a 21 year old that carries herself like she is 36.

It is a how she acts and carries herself is that what matters. I would rather be with the 21 year old than the 36 year old mentioned above. I am not 21 (not saying those were not good times) I am 36 and act like it. I want a woman that is compatible of where I am at in my life and not wanting to go out and party all the time.

I hope I explained myself good enough to get my point across.

[Peter]

I think that you are right CJ... It is more a question of how mature you are than you physical age..

[Manuel]

Just a week ago I received an admirer letter from a lady in her early twenties; I was really surprised as I'm 58. Just to hints:

1.- From her profile:
I am looking forward to the beautiful western world and travelling around the world.
I am eager to live beside the blue ocean, walk on the beach to enjoy the comfortable life.

2.- She sent me a gorgeous photo in which she's sloped putting some flowers on a place I can't see but according the way she's dressed and the background I'd swear is a grave!!!

Somebody think I should answer her? :icon_cheesygrin:

[JimB]

Look and think about what she says.  She is not talking about love, she is talking about a traveling companion.

how about a 46 year old cute pediatrician in Wuhan? Just asking, my wife's best friend. lol

[Norb Smith]

Sarge, now you know why your wife brought up the subject of having a child, she want to be able to go back to China when its due so that her friend can assist in delivering it...........lol.........j/k