A sensible age difference

[brett]

Hi all,

I wondered if any of my fellow brothers had some suggestions about what a sensible age difference is? I'm 37 and would like to find someone who is willing to settle down and want to start a family.

Obviously most men prefer younger women. I've been looking in the 28-34 age range as I'd guess this is optimal, although I've had notes from younger women of around 25.

Is there a certain age that Chinese girls tend to reach when they decide they know what they want out of life and decide to settle down? Round my part of Essex girls seem to want to settle down and have kids at the grand old age of 19, so that's not much help :s.

[David5o]

Brett,

At your age, there isn't going to be much of an age difference really. I personally would never go more than 15 yrs, and would be looking to keep it nearer to 10 yrs.
To me, it's the older guy's that have the bigger problem, looking at ladies half there age. what they would have in common, i wouldn't know!! Apart from anything else it's not really fair on the women, after all they should have a life also. We men tend to think of ourselves, and not think about further on down the line, when the chances are, these much younger wife's would end-up just being our careers......

That's my personal view point, .... i'm sure others here would see things otherwise!!

David....

[Sylvain D]

Well, being with ladies younger who are under 25 years old may would not a good idea (I think), just because I'd say they surely don't have "much" experience as older ladies (working, relationship, too)
So, 25 seems to be the "limit of age" for you (I always think I'm right to say that) but under, you may will have any "difficulties".

[brett]

Thanks, that's what I was thinking!

If I wanted a 21 year old trophy wife I'd get a Ukranian. But having a really young wife is a bit of a cultural taboo in this country, although if you're a football manager/ex-player or a Russian oligarch you can just about get away with it lol :icon_cheesygrin:.

[shaun]

David, I'm 54.  Does this mean I am selfish because I have a 19 year old who loves me and she makes me happy? hehe!

No, I agree, 10 years or less is a reasonable preference and certainly no more than 15 years.  My oldest child is 24 how in the world could she relate to a 25 or even 30 year old step mother.  The point is this is not a one person issue.  If you have children you need to consider how they would relate too. Sure a very young woman looks good and can be very exciting but after you get out of bed with her you will have to talk with her.

My grandfather God rest his soul married an 18 year old woman after his wife died giving birth. He was in his 50's and died while his youngest son was 8. My grandmother raised 5 children by herself and they were very poor after he died. It does not make any sense to put the woman you say you love in that kind of possible circumstance.

The woman I am talking with is 46.  Even with a 8 year gap I have already noticed that long range plans are different.  We are talking about that and trying to merge our focus a little closer to each other. I can retire in 6 years and with my benefits I could live anywhere I want. She isn't that far along and doesn't completely understand that issue.

So yes you should keep her age close to yours.

[David5o]

Shaun,

I'm not saying if i was single and a much younger lady (of a decent type) offered me, let's say .... care and attention haha!! I wouldn't be walking or running in the opposite direction, I'd probably, no definately be saying, when and where..... let's goooooo now!!  haha!!

But it ain't gonna happen so i won't dwell on it.... hahaha!!

David.....

[shaun]

Shaun,

I'm not saying if i was single and a much younger lady (of a decent type) offered me, let's say .... care and attention haha!! I wouldn't be walking or running in the opposite direction, I'd probably, no definately be saying, when and where..... let's goooooo now!!  haha!!

But it ain't gonna happen so i won't dwell on it.... hahaha!!

David.....

Hey, after all we are men, but if you want to settle down don't shoot yourself in the foot. But truthfully I'd rather keep it in my pants and save it for the good stuff if you know what I mean. (oooh this can be taken the wrong way, I mean a good wife I can relate to is the good stuff!)

[David5o]

Shaun,

I'm not single now anyway.... haha!!  And to be honest, i'm thankful in a way that Lucys, away for a  fortnight, ..... rest and rehabilitation, what do you Yanks call it , oh yes ... R and R

It's just all this dammed washing and ironing, and the dusting and vacuming, and the bed getting changed..... hahaha!!    

David......

[feisnik]

I think it depends on your age. I am 36 now, and I only looked for women 28 or older. This is a good age for maturity in a Chinese woman in my experience. But you have enough issues with cultural differences, age differences will only make it harder. My wife will be 32, and according to the Chinese Zodiac, 4 years difference is very good.

[MLM]

Hi Brett, I am 53 years old and my wife is 43 years old soon to be 44, we are a good match, I have a 22 year old daughter that gets along fine with Lao Po, a 13 year old son that loves her and calls her Mama, and she has a daughter that is 12 years old and in the end of December, beginning of January we will have a new daughter so I think a 10 to 15 year differance is okay but I wouldn't go any more then that but then thats JMO.
Good luck and best wishes.

[Willy The Londoner]

Well at least at 37 he cannot have an age gap of more than 15 years as girls in China cannot marry before they are22.

Willy

[Neil]

The standard I've always followed was half your age +7.  So if you're 16, you can date a 15 year old...if you're 50, 32's your limit.  No rule is set in stone but it seems to work well.  My girl's 32 and I'm 39 and we seem to have a lot in common.

P.S.  If you're 8, you can date an 11 year old!

[David E]

I've got an opinion on this subject that may not be "mainstream"
I agree, if we want a "red-hot" 22 yr old from Russia or Ukraine, it would take about 1 week tops !!!
We would know EXACTLY what the deal is....2 years of endless sex...and then she dives off with 60% of your assets...90% if you were unfortunate to have a child !!
I have some friends here in Aus who did just that...and they now live to regret it hugely.
But I truly think that the Chinese Women have a genuinely different view about age...up to a point of course.
Age, to a Chinese woman is something to be admired and respected, so I would feel more confident about a "younger" Chinese Woman than almost any other.
In my mind (and in my conscience ) I have thought about life if I marry a Chinese Woman say, 20-25 years younger than me.
It is very likely that she wouldnt have such a problem with this, but for me, I would have maybe 15-20 good years before I either croaked or became a vegetable in a Zimmerframe
Both of us would know this and provided that I was able to make sure she was well sorted financially when that time came, I think I would have done the right thing. At the same time I would have the last relationship in my life with a wonderful woman....worth gold to me.
My only other option is to marry an older Australian Dragon who not only would be waiting for my cash, but driving me to the end-game with the throttle wide open !!!

At this moment I am healthy, slim, well set financially, mentally OK.......I deserve a good woman (lol)
Makes you think doesnt it ??
David E

[ahkiwi]

I certainly don't have any issues with age gaps ... my sister married someone nearly the same age as our parents. 20 year difference in their ages.

I did set an age range for my matches but that's more of a guideline than anything ... helps when you're starting out, no idea where it will end up though.

[brett]

Thanks guys!

At the end of the day I'm not sure age is ever an issue. When I was at Uni one of the 18 year old girls had a 40+ year old boyfriend!

:fi_lone_ranger: