Yes Maxx, I agree with you on many points and I know what you mean, I have been to China 3 times already in the past year and have seen how some are treated. I am happily married to a Chinese lady. I am not worried about loosing face, or unintentionally making someone else loose face and I won't change who I am just because I am in China. ( I do not have to always do it there way) I am a Westerner and they obviously know this. I am not cheap when it comes time to pay for a meal, however on the same note I am not a sucker for always having to pay out just because that is what they may expect, that is there way and culture. Do not misunderstand me, I have high respect for the Chinese and there customs, but I will not be taken for a fool and always pay for everything.
As I have stated in my last post here, everyone will have a different opinions regarding who should pay for the meal at the restaurant. It really is a simple thing , just do whatever you feel like doing, if you want to pay for the meal then do so,,,if not, then discuss this with your lady. The important thing is to just have a good time at the restaurant with your lady, family or friends without burning a hole in your wallet or budget, life is too short.