I have never been around any kid, that would even think of saying that. That threw up red flags all over. In my world you never say kill, unless you absolutely without a doubt mean it. So, the first thing i did was shut up and think of the 24 hour rule. I had a place to vent and that was here. I have read all of teh comments and thank you all. First thing is I would never say anything about paying for the flight in front of her. I just talked to my wife about it. I know enough not to undermine her. Secondly is that I am so frustrated with my wife about this kid. I try to talk to her about it and she just says, i know she is spoiled. Anytime I talk about discipline for her my wife says she has never done that. I tell her that is why she is like she is. I do not want to go around the next few years having to watch my back because of this kid. That is why I talked about throwing in the towel. This is because of kid not some enemy. I seriously considered it for about an hour last night. Then I decided i wasnt going to let some kid beat me. I took this on and I live up to my word. So this morning I sat Qingqing down and gave her these options: 1. I never want to hear anything like that come out of her mouth again. If I do, there will be serious ramifications. I am not your father, you have one but I have taken on the task of helping you by the act of marrying your mother. I want this to be our home for all of us, if you do not want to follow my rules then you do not have to live here. You can stay at school all of the time or go and try to live with your father. I want you here but i will not put up with any more crap like what happened at the restaurant, or in my drink, (at that she blanched and got red faced). I said yes, i know about it. You are a beautiful 16 year old girl and you will act like it, not like some 5 year old. Those are my rules. I will help you with anything in my power to. I want to be your friend but that is not necessary if you do not want it to be. But you will treat me as a person not an enemy. I am going out for breakfast and will be back in a couple of hours. it is completely your decision. At that i got up and walked out. I figured this should settle it, not completely, but she now knows how I feel. I got tired of biting my tongue and walking on eggs, that is not me nor my style. Either Mama goes along or she doesnt. If not I want to know now. After about a half hour my phone rang and it was my wife asking me to come home.
When I got there they were both red eyed from crying. I steeled myself for the worst. I figured i could get a hotel room for the night and move my filght up a couple of weeks. First my wife apologized for putting me through what was very bad for me. (I will not go into details about her. just to say she backed me.) then it was Qingqings turn. She said she was sorry that she had done this. But that she had never had to share her mother and yada yada yada. Anyway after about an hour of this, we decided to give it another try. So then we decided to go out to the supermarket. Anyway while out she took me into a mens store and tried to buy me a couple of shirts and things. Of course they had nothing that would fit me. But I thanked her and hugged her for the thought. On the way back, she grabbed my hand with my wife on the other side. She smiled and said we are a family. So we will see. I still do not 100% trust her because she is 16. We will see.
Thanks for the info guys, it helped me make up my mind on what to do. it was my own way but I had to be true to myself. I have already heard from my brother in law, translating through my wife he said he was glad I did what I did.
Michael, tell Zhou that her namesake is practicing speaking and writing English every night so when I go back she can e mail me and her new cousin in the USA. She is such a great kid.
My wife said we needed to stay at home for the next few days, she is worried about trouble, not with me just in general. Of course with her job she needs to go to work. And I want to tell you, I found out how much she makes as a surgical nurse with over 20 years experience, she is also the training nurse. She gets the equivalent of $75.00 for a minimum of 40 hours a week. Plus a housing subsidy, where she pays 200 yuan a month for her place in the dorm. So if you look at the total it would be about 4000 yuan a month or about $588 usd. But she only gets the $75.00 if she does not live in the dorm she gets nothing. Is that not horrible?
