Anyone have any success at getting off of EMF's early on?

[Brent]

Reason I ask is because I was really planning on holding off on talking to any girls for a while but I just got an admirer letter from a lady who seems very close to the ideal girl I was hoping to find. She's 27, speaks good English, well educated, attractive and shares a lot of similar interests with me. Even a bonus that she lives just outside of Shanghai which has always been one of the top places in China I've wanted to visit and would be the easiest for me to get to since they have direct flights from Toronto to Shanghai. I'm almost thinking I'd be nuts not to at least write her but I really can't go back and forth with EMF's for too long. Especially if I do end up saving for a trip to China next year I would need to stick to a tight budget and frankly I'm a bit pissed at the amount of cash I threw at EMF's for the first girl since it didn't work out.

Obviously I don't think it's the girl who will mind of course but the agency, So do any of you guys have any tips how to tactfully tell them early on that you're only interested in someone who's willing to communicate away from EMF's after the first week or two? :?

[maxx]

Brent the reason i suggest that you stay with the Emf for the first 2 or 3 months or the first trip.Is that the translaters take some of the culture shock out of the letters.What I mean by that is that the translaters explain the letters to the lady.They also explain a little of are customs and culture.

I would wate untill you and the lady are both comfortable.Then I would suggest you go to a different medium.There is no set time for this to happen.Each person is different.And how comfortable the lady is and you are determens how this works out.If you move to fast this could blow up on you.If you move to slow.You have a expensive penpal.

[Martin]

I don't know what to say to you Brent...glad to see you back with us again.  I guess you could just come out and ask her.  I also agree with what Maxx said.

[Arnold]

Brent , I see why not at least write to her , like every other week , after explaining to her , that you are saving to go to China in the near future . But no more than a year . Hopefully , that she would be the one I will visit then . Write long and caring letter's , that make the waiting time for the next not so bad . Buy 50 credit's , it's cheaper in the long run and it will last you for over a year , even with some extra ones in a while . Remember , this is the Woman that has caught your Eye , now don't let her get away . Any help you need along the way , you know where to ask .

[cHi]

It depends on both the girl and the agency, along with the agency's policies.  I was able to speak to one of my ladies directly after 3 EMFs, and someone here mentioned they went to direct communication after the first ( I think).  Anyway, I do wish you the best luck, sometimes it's hit or miss, but this lady DID catch your eye... what would be worse to you - spending some money on EMFs and finding out she's not the one, or not spending any money on EMFs and losing the one without even knowing it?  Keep in mind that if you were to be dating a woman locally, you would be spending money on food/drinks/entertainment etc., so 50 EMFs is really not a bad deal at all if you can swing it.  Combine that with the fact that you are saving up and plan to go to China within a year's time - I don't know what girl would not be understanding about that.  After all, you would be coming to see her anyway (potentially).  Good luck!

[Ed W]

Brent,
I got off EMF's about 2 months into our letters but i figure only as a fluke. I learned that a friend of ours was able to send messages directly to the agency and saved a buck or two on the EMF's and do direct emai with translations happening in the middle.

I proposed this idea to her and the following email message said to write her to her personal email addy. I was confused at first and asked who I was supposed to pay for the service. She told me I was not to pay anything since she would be taking care of it.

After my visit and marrying my wonderful wife I suspect it was her family paying the bill since it was far cheaper but also just as important that her family see that she was able to fulfill her match-making.

I learned her mother paid her upfront fee of 10k rmb for the service and the 50k rmb fee to fulfill the contract. It appears to me that it was important to her family that she can live a fulfilling life with someone she loves.

Far as i can tell this isnt anything that's fly-by-night by any means and it's all flexible from many standpoints.

perhaps you can ask her if finding a personal translator who can intercept direct email and translate is possible? Just an idea but I've seen from my own relationship that nearly anything is possible.

[David]

I got really lucky and was off EMF's after one letter.  My lady is an English teacher at the University level.  She also studies english speaking cultures so the culture shock will be less.  Also she paid off her contract with the Agency already so was allowed direct contact with me.  We also hit it off with one really long letter exchanged between us.  She had her profile hidden at the agency and told me to block her after her first letter.  My profile is also invisible and we are both only writing to each other.  She is an amazing woman and I cannot believe my luck in meeting her.  I plan to go visit her for the national holiday at the beginning of October!

Big Dave

[Arnold]

David , who say's it was all Luck ? Maybe you have something to do with it ?
Good to hear , and keep your Luck going .

[Arnold]

You know , that brings me to the point Qing and Myself arrived at one time . The Translator , actually told us to go use E-Mail to save Money . I did not think much of it then , but now looking back , it is strange for some reason ? Did my Wife pay off her contract right then and there ? I just feel , not asking that question of her , because if she does not bring it up , why should I ? It's over and done with .
Sameldrum , you make a great point there , thanks .

[Vince G]

Recently I sent an email to my lady asking about the fees and such. I haven't gotten a reply yet. Thinking that I contacted her as soon as her photo hit the page?   I wonder if she paid it up that fast? Within a month I had her address and phone number. The email address came later (as I posted before) she didn't have one and didn't know she could without her own computer. Neither of us ever really talked money, as in how much you make? So waiting on this reply I wonder what the answer will be?

[Hajo]

I think that there are big differences. It depends much on the individual and the relationship you are in. I don't kow much about how much the ladies pay. My lady has been posted mid march and we started writing April 13th. I got the first private mail today and her QQ ID. But I also must say that we are very confident with each other.

So, I think she has paid what she had to upfront.

[Vince G]

One I use to talk with said they had two programs (at her agency). One was making payments and the other was full payment. She didn't give me an amount but she was upset that it was a large amount that she paid (in full). I think we went to email after the second EMF.

My lady now? I know she's not loaded ($$) so I really want to know what's going on there. She wouldn't spend a large amount, I know that. Unless maybe they told her the guy will pay?

[Neil]

I'm really eager to find out about your girl's situation Vince, as my girl seems to be in a similar situation.  I've got her cell phone number but she doesn't want me to call her (could be the agency not allowing it), she seems nearly desperate for me to come visit.  Her letters are awesome and she answers every question I ask and asks a few real great questions which shows me she's interested and cares.  I know her parents are not rich and her either, but not poor either.

[maxx]

Vince take a look around when you arrive in shenyang.If it looks good to you and the lady is what you want.

Just dump the agency Dont worry about the fees.Don't let your lady pay them eather.The fees are just way to much.

[Arnold]

You know Guy's , that gives me the Idea , for us all , here in the Brotherhood pick a day and time and we all post on the Official Chnlove at the same time our dislike's of there treatment of the Lady's and taking advantage of us western Men over time and Hoodwing ( thanks Michael ) us . I think that would come across like a kick in the behind , to let them know ... there are being watched from the outside and from all over the World . Let me know if this sounds like a good Idea ? I myself would just love it .